Sexless Marriage...

[gent]

Any married man here experience this??

I am currently in such a situation... after my first kid, my spouse totally avoid having sex with me. She is giving 100% to the kid now. It seems to her that sex = baby! If no plan to have baby, then no need sex! Ridiculous right!!:mad:

Had been trying hard to convince her(that sex is part of marriage) and even prepared to go to visit experts on this but she refuse to go. Claiming that sex is the least priority in her life... I am very annoyed and depressed by all these comments.

Those who encounter and overcome this before, please enlighten me...

[Spytheman]

i was like you ... after one yr plus of marriage den we have sex cos my wife scared of pain...
wat to do ? do you love her ?
i love my wife and i need sex ... so how hand , mouth ( by paid gal) or willing party who knows you are married. I manage to find one during that period... but now i am lost cos i got wife and one gal whom i also love. what to do ? man uses small head to think...
for your case , i would suggest someone to take care of baby first or go on holiday...
buy your wife nice dress or perfume...
All the best pal .. singapore needs more Fuck den more babies... No Fuck NO son

[geylang18]

Gent

You are not alone. I have been there and sad to say that my marriage ended up in a divorce after 2+ years although i love my ex-wife very much.

For us guys, its something very biological and physical. We need sex. For woman, sometimes, its more the romance, the intimacy etc.....

I would really suggest marriage counselling as she (your wife) needs to hear it from an expert.

Good luck bro.

[blur boy]

Bro gent, sorry to hear that you going through this problem...

but from the way that you have posted, i guess that your wife is very conservative towards sex....and that is why she is rejecting the couselling part as well.....

i do understand your frustration but i guess you have to be patient and try to educate her calmly and patiently....and at the sametime, try to entice her into it...especially on the knowledge part.

Maybe she is afraid that she might get pregnant if you guys make out, i guess that that is her concern and she is worry that she might not be able to cope it. and finally, explain to her that you shall do preventive measures and not ejaculate into her loh....

Just my opinion............

[gent]

Gent

You are not alone. I have been there and sad to say that my marriage ended up in a divorce after 2+ years although i love my ex-wife very much.

I would really suggest marriage counselling as she (your wife) needs to hear it from an expert.

Good luck bro.

Bro geylang,

I do not think getting a divorce due to lack of sex life is a good reason right?? It's hard to explain to relatives or friends... cos' they don't know the situation I am in... And further more, now I got a little one... this kid is innocent... I do not wish my kid to grow up in a broken family...

I definately agreed with you that you that my wife need counselling, the problem is she refuses to go.

[newyorker88]

Bro,

I guess you need some help. Can use some counselling and hope that your troubles ease asap. I guess it will be good to get some one of the opposite sex and elderly to talk to her first, rather than suggesting counsellor from public at once. That will not be as drastic as to hint to her both your marriage is in trouble. Get some relatives, such as her elder sister or mom, to find out from her what is the problem first. I hope it will work out. Communication is the key.

Good luck

[bunny]

If u want to save the marriage then act fast before it gets too late to turn around. The key part to all this is communication ... and this I mena not just talking and listening like biz talk, but really talking and understanding and then wanting to do something about it. If u really want to do something, I can give u direction to someplace which can help you. PM me for the info if you need it. Cheers and wishing you all the best

[EatNDrink]

Hello brothers, u dun get married cos of sex rite? if you really are .. then muz well go geylang .. hahaha ..

[durex]

Bro gent be patient on her,you need to educate her the important factor of sex to maintain a good level of marriage,is a balance things,maybe she have just given birth,buy some present to spice up your love life hope its help just two cents worth:)

[bowrider]

bro, fully understand yr position when thru the same situation twice after the 1st child and then again the after the 2nd.marriage is not all about SEX, its about commitment.Yes we have our sexual desires since we are married then the wife must provide otherwise go look for pros mah.Bro dont let the situation cos you to think unrationally n think of divorce.If you love your wife and i gues she loves you give her sometime,use this time to pamper her n have a time to chat with with her about the matter and yr sexual needs and using protection to avoid pregency, make her understand that having sex not always get her pregnant, she may not know this (no offence bro) not saying she dumb.educate her encourage he maybe wicth Porno or somethig to stir her sexual drive in her.

all the best bro marriage is a bond of love not sex.

cheers

[gent]

Hello brothers, u dun get married cos of sex rite? if you really are .. then muz well go geylang .. hahaha ..

You are right... I dun get married cos' of sex definately. But a marriage without sex is very dry and dull... Sex = Make love.. With sex, actually can spice up lots of excitement in a couple... U learn how to appreciate each other more...

I just wanna know how pple facing the same problem managed to cope and savage the marriage... I am not looking for a divorce definately...

[gent]

marriage is not all about SEX, its about commitment.educate her encourage he maybe wicth Porno or somethig to stir her sexual drive in her.

all the best bro marriage is a bond of love not sex.

cheers


I agreed that marriage is not all abt sex... And if I can choose, I would prefer to have sex with my wife(rather than pro).. The problem is I have not even touch her, kiss her for the past 18 mths... isn't it too long?? We are married, but it just simply look like a family of father, mother and kid... that's all...

btw, she dislike porn movie so much that I dun even dare to keep one at home...

[notEnuff121]

I experienced that, and man do need sex.

Do the simple things.. holding hands, arms around waist... take it slow... keep her warm.... birthday flowers... show her you appreciate her care of the kid..

dont just jump in for SEX.... you will kill the mode.

I bet you she is very tired of taking care of the kid, and she really need help... she might be experiencing post natal blues... WATCH FOR THIS !!!

[arizona]

Any married man here experience this??

I am currently in such a situation... after my first kid, my spouse totally avoid having sex with me. She is giving 100% to the kid now. It seems to her that sex = baby! If no plan to have baby, then no need sex! Ridiculous right!!:mad:

Had been trying hard to convince her(that sex is part of marriage) and even prepared to go to visit experts on this but she refuse to go. Claiming that sex is the least priority in her life... I am very annoyed and depressed by all these comments.

Those who encounter and overcome this before, please enlighten me...

Hey Bro,

Most Men in sin face this raging problem... another problem now is, u hv a child... nothing u can do except to "stick" on the marriage.

No offence to any bros or couple reading this...I think children = Burden esp in our environment we live in.

first thing first: did most of us rush into marriage for whatever reasons?

[ss2880]

I got this prob with my gf too. Kinda low sex drive and penetration always painful and she dun like it. Things are getting better these days, however only limited to bj. Education plays alot to let her know that it is norm that couples enjoy sex. Let her know more stories about ppl enjoying, be it in public places or in the bedroom. My girl doesn't like porn but sexy movies, those done tastefully can arouse girls. Btw, can you make her cum? It's very important that her needs are also covered. My girl never fails to cum, she likes me fiddling her clit so much that she is happy without penetration, kinda sickening though....... Sometimes regret always make her cum without penetration. I should have inculcated that cumming comes with penetration.... sighz... anywayz, to all bros here..... try to start off with right footing and train your girl. Start off wrongly then it's kinda sad for the next few decades of married life. I am still training and slowly let her understand, it takes time, just gotta be patient although sometimes i do flare up because she is not understanding towards my needs. Flaring up helps, of course dun do it to maximum effect, just enough to make a point.

Bro, since you are married with kid, then try to talk to her although it's an uphill task. Think and try all sorts of ways, when she see you trying then slowy she will get the point.

[darylcch]

I think we are in the same boat...my wife similar..after having bb, avoid sex for a yr.
she will say she is not in mood. She know her body best, if you force her, she will stop having sex totally. Threatening...
Now she stop oral for me...but expect me to oral her..so unfair...but I still do it ...bo bian...
She only want to have sex after her period, most fertile period...and she claim she is wet and have mood during the period...if I am having flu during those 4-5 days, I will need to wait till next cycle. So now, we only have sex 3-4 times a month!!

[SteveAu]

wa...so jia lat ah? may i ask the age group of u guys...i didnt noe women get married will be like tat..

[ceejay]

I think we are in the same boat...my wife similar..after having bb, avoid sex for a yr.
she will say she is not in mood. She know her body best, if you force her, she will stop having sex totally. Threatening...
Now she stop oral for me...but expect me to oral her..so unfair...but I still do it ...bo bian...
She only want to have sex after her period, most fertile period...and she claim she is wet and have mood during the period...if I am having flu during those 4-5 days, I will need to wait till next cycle. So now, we only have sex 3-4 times a month!!

Just when I tot i was the only one......mine is slightly more demanding than yours, she only wants it in the morning, after we have fully wash up...but then, how about work?...so...it's barely once a month...:(

[MitMit]

The last time i had sex with my wife was 5 years ago.
My friend who also have this problem threatened his wife that he will visit pros inorder to satisfy himself and he told me his wife changed completely after that. But im not asking you to do that lah.

[scw69ers]

Bro, I can assure you, you are not the only one in this predicament...many of the fellow bros here have at one time or another encountered this scenario myself inclusive.

You can't bear with it too as it will deteriorate further if you don't take action. Her problem could probably be traced back to her upbringing, growing up. Could she have been abused as a child? It will take a mammoth effort to pry her out of this mindset but I do really wish you the best of luck and hope to see you in this forum telling us about how eventful your sex life is

CHEERIOS :)

[titts82002]

bro Gent,
go back to very beginning, when u were dating your wife, then girlfriend, check within yourself, how was she behaving towards sex.
then go back a little back to the just marriage stage (before) child is born, how was her behaviour towards sex.

Communicate and try to find the triggering point of stopping sex.
if we can understand and accept the minus points, we can tolerate anything and everything is beautiful as they be.

titts

[Castrol]

My friend who also have this problem threatened his wife that he will visit pros inorder to satisfy himself and he told me his wife changed completely after that. But im not asking you to do that lah.

hahaha... bro, this is a good one! :D

[itsabt6x]

... after my first kid, my spouse totally avoid having sex with me. She is giving 100% to the kid now......Those who encounter and overcome this before, please enlighten me...

bro Gent, u r definitely not alone in this rug as many bros here hv testified. me too, is no diff. i encountered the same pblm after my 1st kid (got 2 now)...she'd put in her all for the kids leaving her no energy left for me...frankly speaking, a wife's role is extremely demanding and we as hubby should not fault her for that but we have needs too...but still, it's no excuse for us to stray...right???

well, stray i did (several times) and was caught too...the quarrels were frequent n furious, but each time we reconciled (for sake of the kids) but our relationship was strained....

too cut the long story short, i believe the solution is to make time for each other (at least once a week). nowadays, we have set aside sat late nite for each other, going for movies, clubbing or just supper....sex did come about during her 'safe' period, as we didnt want any1 kids and dislike the use of cd....then it's pcc for me at other times (of urge) and possibly visiting FLs (but be aware of stds)...

hope this works for u.....take care!

[ct75]

Heard this story from a friend. His buddy was a goodie two shoes and changed into a weekly cheongster at hcs after this happened at home. He and the wife were always in the missionary position, the wife would just lie there and not make a sound while he humped away. Foreplay? Non existent... so the poor chap being goodie thought maybe its his fault that he is not giving her enough excitement... so after reading some books which suggested trying new variations to arouse the lady, during one bonking session, he was tried to turn her around for doggy style. At this moment his wife just snapped at him and said "CAN U BEHAVE LIKE A HUMAN AND NOT FUCK LIKE AN ANIMAL?????!!" Doggie style equals to fucking like an animal..... Needless to say his mood just disappeared and that started his cheonging days....

His wife wasn't not aroused by him, she just took sex as a kind of deal in the marriage hence the lie back and open legs... and hubby hump hump... and then okay you done?! A bit like substandard pros....

[ragnarclaw]

The last time i had sex with my wife was 5 years ago.
My friend who also have this problem threatened his wife that he will visit pros inorder to satisfy himself and he told me his wife changed completely after that. But im not asking you to do that lah.

U must be kidding rite,bro MitMit.How can u tahan for so long..5yrs leh:eek:

[samschnur]

i sympathise w bro ss2880.

my gf also the same, said that the cb closed up, even touch also scream out pain..... but she got no prob cumming by playing w her clit....

so i ended up w no sex, n the most she gave me is one bj n one hj the entire month we r together..

fuck up, u may call me anything u like, but at my age, i think i need sexual release too... n i never have this prob w all my previous gfs.... so to each his own, i cannot stand a relationship w/o sex

[kaizer]

heh heh.. well, my gf is those high sex drive one but she dun believe in pre maritial sex.. so sex is out of the question.. we onli did petting.. afew times a week when we haf time.. however, she doesnt like me fondling her clit, say no feeling and painful, and she dun allow me to finger her, scared dat her hymen will break.. thus the only way for her to cum is to ride on me thru rubbing her chee bye with panties against my lan jiao wif underwear.. ( cannot naked cox scared pregnant.) seems dat she like it.. thus i haf no choice, though she dun allow oral sex even if i wana lick her.. dia0x.. come to her pcc skills, she isnt dat good though, out of 10 times i cum, onli 1-2 times i feel sibeh shiok only.. other den dat all like nt much feeling, i pcc myself oso better.. but wad to do? wives/gf are our other half, and we haf to respect their decision even though we still haf our needs. guess e only way is to slowly educate her and talk to her la.. juz like she got hairy chee bye, i slowly ask her to shave and tell her dat is more hygeniene and wont haf dat much smell.. can see some improvement in her la.. she go trim her cb hair, even though still so hairy and i ask her to shave.. but slowly la, take one step at a time lo.. one day she will come to understand one la.. patience bros.. PATIENCE!

[Toyota Honda]

well guys, it seems like I am having the sae prob with my gf.. She was so HSD just months and years ago and suddenly she hate sex. Even now when I try to take off her clothes, she just shrugd me off and say she dpn't want.

I hoipe she is not straying though, she works in a bank and thats very 'dangerous'.

[logonpal]

Hi hi

STRAIGHT TALK -

Go straight to your wife and share truthfully and explicitly on your sex needs w/o having to bring in marriage expectations, philosophy first.

don't be shy abt your sharing w/ her, u got nothing to lose... as man, having sex is part of life...

- tell her u r very high when girls or thots come across your mind
- tell her u erect and even go to toilet to PCC (Don't be shy!)
- tell her u hv sexual thots of bedding the pretty girls and doing all kinds of sex fun
- and more....

AND ASK HER, if SHE DOESN"T GIVE U, check with her if she is OK if you go to alternative?

DOnt be shy? Dont be afraid of her reactions.....
You will be surprise that she may (or may not) reveal her true reasons for not having sex.....

Good luck
Pal

[gent]

I guess many guys are facing the same problem...

Bro MitMit, How did u managed to cope for 5 years?? It's amazing..:p

[nottibabe]

hey guys, hv u hear fm those wives whereby hubby's sex drive goes down the road as days go by? Fm gals i know, this is very common too - n mind u, dun tell me those hack dat they oredi got worn out wif other women outside. Many r just those decent guys that genuinely cannot "perk" up often too.

[spider_j]

Marriage NO SEX is nevermind! But must have LOVE!

LOVE enough for your wife to let you go out and LOOK FOR SEX!!!!

and you must have enough LOVE for wife to have SEX without FALLING in LOVE with the WL or Part-TIme Lover!

If you ask me, paying fer sex outside mariage is less messy. No need to lie, no need to make excuses to meet for tryst. Just make APPT, FUCK, pay and fuck off!!!

:D

[asdfghjkl]

maybe ur wife is still young? i thought women reach their sexual peak at 30s? :rolleyes:

i got a friend same situation.. later he found out that she had been raped by her uncle when young, so ...

[jswong]

Gent, mitmit and others, you all are not alone. Me also, after wife gives birth two ago. Suddenly avoid sex. Saying its dirty. Last time courtship days, still got hj, bj and lots of fj. Now, have to beg her like hell also no sex. Tried to go back to basic like communicate more, hold hands, give presents, romantic dinners, impress her with many things also no avail. Worse, she sleeps with her child every nite. I sleep alone in masterrm. Even she changed also must closed drs in order not to let me see. Sometimes, I thought of divorce but our communication is good except we dont hv sex. Right now I have to DIY myself. So regret marrying. Perhaps those who wish to be my friends can email to me at jswong88atyahoodotcomdotsg

[asdfghjkl]

jswong.. sorry to hear that.. maybe we can come out one day to discuss..

[gent]

hey guys, hv u hear fm those wives whereby hubby's sex drive goes down the road as days go by? Fm gals i know, this is very common too - n mind u, dun tell me those hack dat they oredi got worn out wif other women outside. Many r just those decent guys that genuinely cannot "perk" up often too.

I am sure that there are cases like ur fren. Ladies do have their urge and expectations too... And I actually feel that some ladies are more daring than guys.

But the wives we are talking abt here are unusually low in their sex drive... In fact, most of them feel that no sex is fine with them...

[pakpak2001]

[QUOTE=gent]Any married man here experience this??
I am currently in such a situation... after my first kid, my spouse totally avoid having sex with me.
Had been trying hard to convince her(that sex is part of marriage) and even prepared to go to visit experts on this but she refuse to go. Claiming that sex is the least priority in her life... I am very annoyed and depressed by all these comments.
\================================================= =======
bro, no need to be depressed
1. pcc or (2) cheong gl for budget fuck
after the session, u feel good, relaxed, calm down liao
then buy your missus a good meal, sayang the baby, sleep & life goes on.
take it easy bro
after all paid safe, budget sex is easli evailable in sinland.
why feel so depressed?
r u going to feel depressed for your whole life?
of course not. relax, cool down, be a naughty boy sometimes.

[LOWCHUI]

Dear Brothers,

I have a flip situation for you guys to consider.

What if wife has become out of shape, put on weight & no longer appeals to you ?

Yes, there is still 'kum cheng'/love, but subject is just not sexually attractive any more.

Yet she wants to 'it' & probably even more gian as years go by?

Then how?

Tell her you no longer turn me on?
Then die die, one have to imagine something exotic while doing it, all in all, a very counter-productive experience that leaves each party worse off.

I am some husbands are in this situation.

Then how ?

At least, this sexless marriage thread situation easier to handle, wife not interested - then no pressure what - just pcc or eat outside.

Easier to handle then the other scenerio I ust describe right ?

[kaizer]

bros, but muz remember leh.. paid sex not as easy and hassle free as it seems.. once it bites it wont let go de.. think about, wad if u kana std from paid sex.. and one day when u go home, ur wife decided to haf sex wif u.. den isnt she prone to the std u kana? dun tink protected means 100% protection, loopholes are everiwhere.

[KingEros]

Claiming that sex is the least priority in her life... I am very annoyed and depressed by all these comments.
I know of MILFs who stayed away from sex with the hubbies becoz there is a chance of getting pregnant ... ie, it's really could just be the months of sufferance that's stopping your wife from being intimate with you.
No need for counselling ... I firmly believe you two know yourselves best - have an honest heart to heart talk & establish where the real problem is.

And further more, now I got a little one... this kid is innocent... I do not wish my kid to grow up in a broken family...
I thought this could be your trump card when it comes to negotiating with your missus after you have established the real problem ...
Stress that you only wanna try to move towards a win-win situation ... that no matter what, your kid having a complete family is your first priority. After that, you can then push for more manoevrability where your sexual needs are concerned:
1) that she allows you to be intimate
2) that she allows you to resort to sex toys (including blue film)
3) that she allows you to employ external assistance ... :D

You are right... I dun get married cos' of sex definately. But a marriage without sex is very dry and dull... Sex = Make love.. With sex, actually can spice up lots of excitement in a couple...
It is right that free & readily available sex cannot be THE reason people get married ... but I agree with you 100% that sexual compatibility is still of topmost concern. I mean, if you like golf but she doesn't, you just golf with your kakis ... similarly, if she likes shopping but you don't, she just shops with her kakis ... however, if you like sex & she doesn't, whose kakis are you gonna turn to?? :D

[KingEros]

His wife wasn't not aroused by him, she just took sex as a kind of deal in the marriage hence the lie back and open legs... and hubby hump hump... and then okay you done?! A bit like substandard pros....
That's why it's very important to go for test-drives ...
If you open up your eyes sufficiently before the marriage, you'd be able to avoid finding out gory stuff only after the marriage ... :eek:

heh heh.. well, my gf is those high sex drive one but she dun believe in pre maritial sex.. so sex is out of the question.. we onli did petting.. a few times a week when we haf time.. however, she doesnt like me fondling her clit, say no feeling and painful, and she dun allow me to finger her, scared dat her hymen will break.. thus the only way for her to cum is to ride on me thru rubbing her chee bye with panties against my lan jiao wif underwear.. (cannot naked cox scared pregnant) seems dat she like it..
At first, I couldn't quite understand ... how would you know she's of high sex drive but yet haven't tried bonking her.
But once you read your details, I managed to remember a thing or two from my own experiences from eons ago ... :D
2 different girls during mt days in NUS ...
1) Voluptous Malay girl ... grew up with this mentality that hymen must not be broken. So ended up we tried penetration of every sort, less the pussy ... I mean, she did CIM & full-scale anal too (in fact, she was the first I did anal with).
2) Pretty Indian girl ... grew up with this mentality that dowry would crash market if she lost her virginity. So ended up with BJs & HJs on me, as well as the rub-a-rub until panty wet wet ... can strip her eveything but die die also must still wear panty type.
Rather ridiculous but true to the bone ... very reason why I can't be bothered with that membrane anymore, when selecting a wife.

[gent]

bros, but muz remember leh.. paid sex not as easy and hassle free as it seems.. once it bites it wont let go de.. think about, wad if u kana std from paid sex.. and one day when u go home, ur wife decided to haf sex wif u.. den isnt she prone to the std u kana? dun tink protected means 100% protection, loopholes are everiwhere.


When we 'eat' outside, must take precaution by all means... unprotected sex is a 100% no-no!

[kaizer]

That's why it's very important to go for test-drives ...
If you open up your eyes sufficiently before the marriage, you'd be able to avoid finding out gory stuff only after the marriage ... :eek:


At first, I couldn't quite understand ... how would you know she's of high sex drive but yet haven't tried bonking her.
But once you read your details, I managed to remember a thing or two from my own experiences from eons ago ... :D
2 different girls during mt days in NUS ...
1) Voluptous Malay girl ... grew up with this mentality that hymen must not be broken. So ended up we tried penetration of every sort, less the pussy ... I mean, she did CIM & full-scale anal too (in fact, she was the first I did anal with).
2) Pretty Indian girl ... grew up with this mentality that dowry would crash market if she lost her virginity. So ended up with BJs & HJs on me, as well as the rub-a-rub until panty wet wet ... can strip her eveything but die die also must still wear panty type.
Rather ridiculous but true to the bone ... very reason why I can't be bothered with that membrane anymore, when selecting a wife.

well, same as ur 2 flings lor.. high sex drive doesnt mean muz bonk eh? as long as she can come thru other means and muz do alot of time, doesnt it means she got high sex drive?

[kaizer]

When we 'eat' outside, must take precaution by all means... unprotected sex is a 100% no-no!

well, as i had said.. protection doesnt mean u wont kana. unprotected = kamikazi.

[Sexatronic]

Bro Gent,

First of all, I must admire ur courage to voice out here.... it goes to show it's not always FL, GL or HC in SBF.

Secondly, u speaks for a lot of bros here...:(

I, too, face the same prob wif my wifey. Since the birth of our 1st child, she's been a totally different person. No sex, I'm still ok. But all the touching and huggings also stops. I always ask myself, where is the LOVE??:mad:

I had a good talk wif her the other day and situation seems to improve a little. Try talking to her, explaining that soon, our children will grow up and hv their own life...and ultimately, we only hv the 2 of us to live to old age. Bai Tou Xie Lao.

Good luck..........to all of us, husbands!

[KingEros]

well, same as ur 2 flings lor.. high sex drive doesnt mean muz bonk eh? as long as she can come thru other means and muz do alot of time, doesnt it means she got high sex drive?
I beg to differ ...
I'd only go as far as to say that they are curious about sex ... even to the extent of enjoying the petting & fingering, etc.
Having a high sex drive ... that's something else altogether!!! For one thing, they'd have broken all personal mental barriers & actually experience the act of bonking.;)

[Frankiestine]

Well like the monster always say "IF SHE CHOOSES TO BE A NUN DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE A MONK"...

Bro Gent the monster understands what you going thru, me and my rsm has countless fights becos of our different view to sex...to them sex is only open season when their maternal clock starts calling..

[TheEconomist]

Might as well jump into the fray lah...

The CO and me have sparodic (read sparse) sex for last five years or so - we talking public holidays - only the english ones :D - say less than 5-6 times a year..

Funny thing is all other aspects of relationship seemed ok lor - what to do - solution? Nothing more to add lah - you can cheat, pay, pcc or whatever lah - I don't think got simple solution lah - sorry guys..

BTW talk? We talk about this until the cow come home, had kids and even the cow's kids come home - still no difference lah..

Raise the beer mugs guys, here's to cold nights, busy hands and rusty weapons..

[Frankiestine]

however, she doesnt like me fondling her clit, say no feeling and painful, and she dun allow me to finger her,
sounds like my wife type bro....my wife won't let my fingers go any where near her pussy...not even to rub her clits..don't even like me to raba her boobs she equates it to like been molested...lick or suck her nipples painful, try to pet she find it a turn off dun like the ticklish feeling...bj lick pussy disgusting think pple who does this are perverts..so any opportunity for sex...in out in out in out a few strokes and then game over wash up...so mechanical...better off fucking a dummy...

[gent]

sounds like my wife type bro....my wife won't let my fingers go any where near her pussy...not even to rub her clits..don't even like me to raba her boobs she equates it to like been molested...lick or suck her nipples painful, try to pet she find it a turn off dun like the ticklish feeling...bj lick pussy disgusting think pple who does this are perverts..so any opportunity for sex...in out in out in out a few strokes and then game over wash up...so mechanical...better off fucking a dummy...

I guess this is the mentality of a typical "conservative" wife. They are usually very good wife who meet all the requirements as a mother/housewife. Except for the "sex" category.:(

To them normal missionary sex is good enough for them. Anything more than that is considered "pervert" or "disgusting"...

[Frankiestine]

good wife who meet all the requirements as a mother/housewife. Except for the "sex" category.:(
good wife far from it..mine got a short fuse...bloody untidy at home...never does any house work leaves things for you to pick up after her...man like i said before if marriage is a contract i would have sued her for fraud and deceit cos the before and after packaging was two totally different thing...and the worst part she literally sucks in bed and i don't mean the bj version...

[big_bear]

all these talks about terror-wives who dun want sex really makes me feel like not marrying. jialat siah... scared like hell.
might as well dun marry better.

[jswong]

Hey Gent care to come out and talk about our same kind of problem? Email me at [email protected]

[fat29]

Dear Bros,

Hope to add a dimension to this sexless or little sex or boring sex marriages. I think that the wives and husbands have different expectations of things and the root of things is that both see a different calling in marriage. Wife may see it as a harbour to park or see the role as a good mother, etc.. and sex is not part of it or at least an insignificant part of it.

Guys with needs see it differently especially when their male friends have sexy and sex starved wives and girlfriends.

If you could use sex stories plus personal encounters about friends to share with wives, I think the situation is not totally irreversible. I have friends who managed to use stories to connect with their wives and they are now leading by sex lives. Some of these stories lead them to take lessons from sex therapists or the internet for solutions.

I don't think this is going to work for all brothers but for those who practise and master the art of story telling and showing evidences of common friends, do stand some chance.

Hope this contributions help. If there is anything that you need me to elaborate, pls PM me. Will be most happy to share with you.

[superstar]

My five cents worth of view...

Sometimes, especially those girls who are very conservative abt sex, you must make them feel like you want sex is becos you love them...but not becos you want to have sex.... P

[KingBong]

It' strange. When you think back of those high sex drive women, great in bed but when it comes to marriage our big head takes over. People generally don't marry their spouse because of sex, for logical reasons, it won't last. But then even there's no sex life, it could cause problems later. Hence many guys sideline, with or without their spouse knowledge. What's the solution?

[KingBong]

When you think back of those high sex drive women, great in bed but when it comes to marriage our big head takes over. People generally don't marry their spouse because of sex, for logical reasons, it won't last. But then even there's no sex life, it could cause problems later. Hence many guys sideline, with or without their spouse knowledge. What's the solution?

[thaiholebanger]

hai.... my wife also like that and to top it off we have been married less than a year (no kids lah) the no of times we bonked is less than the fingers on one hand.... that is one of the reasons why I became a samster and cheong for fucks...
If i know like that i might put the brakes on the wedding plans...
It is very frustrating... :mad:

[jrbecker99]

why all our wifes like that one? me eh its the kids this the kids that. thats all the wife talks about. if not the kids its the in laws. espically the rich in laws how they are all doing so well. we just a house no mortgage, new car every 5 years, regular holidays overseas (malaysia dont count one) still i not good enough

as f or sex get 1 once a month when she has pmt (pre mensu tension). second one if lucky on public holiday. half hour sux sux in out in out roll over all over. and the usual lecture "you no go get it outside or i kill you" if only she knows i would have been dead long time ago .

[boobers]

Bro, all of us hope for a good wife and great sex when married. I find good wife something hard to comeby so cherish them if u have one. Don get too depress when u don get sex. Talk to her about it. If still cannot, go get your shaft milked out by those commercial cows out there. It's a win win situation but make sure u get maximum protection. If u don tell she won't know right :cool:

[kenwee]

Brudders,

I actually think that low sex or sexless marraiges after children is the norm. Its just that guys don't talk much about it in real life cause it makes us look bad.....

From my own personal observation, if you want SEX, delay marraige as long as possible. I remember an side-kick to Wil Smith in the movie "Bad Boys" say
"Being married means sleeping next to a beautiful women but getting none!"...How true.

In my own case, sex has always been generally good, if not great. The problem is frequency. She cums 90% of the time (I not bluff) so its not as if I'm farked up in bed......its just that "sex" is programmed to stay in a woman's mind after she's got what she wants....i.e. marraige, baby etc.

Remeber that women go through profound physical changes during pregnancy and it probably affects them mentally and have hormonal changes as well. But problem is, we guys are still the same horny devils we were before marraige.

So, to fill up the gaps, I chiong. Strictly commercial stuff. Ain't proud of it but there it is.....the dangers are there, but honestly, I don't see any other way since celebacy is NOT an option for me. Neither is PCC's till I get friction burns on my dick.

And don't know about you guys but I get real moody and angry when I don't get my qouta...........I get pissed at everyone and everything......so the way I figure it, I have NO CHOICE but to chiong to save my marraige.......Yup, for all my problems, I want to, and have to stay married......for the little ones.

Don't think getting emotionally attached to other women is the answer....if you think about it, what happened with this spouse will probably happen with whatever women you take as a substitute supposing you divorce your current one and remary.

Just my 2 cents worth.

[packardbell]

Any married man here experience this??

I am currently in such a situation... after my first kid, my spouse totally avoid having sex with me. She is giving 100% to the kid now. It seems to her that sex = baby! If no plan to have baby, then no need sex! Ridiculous right!!:mad:

Had been trying hard to convince her(that sex is part of marriage) and even prepared to go to visit experts on this but she refuse to go. Claiming that sex is the least priority in her life... I am very annoyed and depressed by all these comments.

Those who encounter and overcome this before, please enlighten me...

Sad to hear that and it is happening not only to you. Is sex with wife
really that important to the extend of divorce. I do not think so. If boil
down to the fact of what is love. Gent, I think you need to seriously
find out the cause of her not wanting sex. I have a fren that her wife
does not want sex with him bcos she somehow found out that his
husband flirt around, but she keep it to herself and thus does not
want to have sex with him (keep the marriage). Another friend, same
as no sex with wife because the gal does not want to get pregnant
bcos she a career women and she does not like to tak pill or
husband use condom. She think sex made her tired and she
can't work to tbe best for the next day. So you see, there are
many cause, what is your, plse review and solve it. Only you
know actually how to resolve it, we all can advise and contribute
in one way or another. I have heard of married couple stop
having sex after 2 children at the age of 38yo (wife) and still
very loving.

[ricardo]

wow after reading thru i find myself lucky. will never complain again liao.

me now expecting 3rd kid.

b4 1st kid ... normal sex .. wife conservative time so nothing fancyful. same as b4 marriage but high frequency.

after 1 kid ... slow down a bit but gets more exciting during each session but of course less time to do lor. then kid bigger 2-3 years old. plan to have 2nd one but difficult coz me always travelling and stress at work. wow ... this period best one ... she very motivated ... can do all sorts of thing to get me going ... really shiok.

after 2nd kid ... very very busy ... she not really interested but understand my needs so get a little here and there. then start to play fancy dressing ... somhow she feel sexy with them ... so getting interesting ... suddenly knnccb ... accident kena pregnant again ... so now sexless ...

3rd one due soon after that close factory liao ... but expect frequency to be low as well lah ... 3 kids leh ... but just last week she bought a pair of ultra sexy underwear ... think got glimmer of hope :D

to threadstarter ... me take long time to make wife understand ... now i think she enjoy as much as me ... at least that's what i hope lah.

[spenceryap]

To the thread starter (Gent),

Thank you for bringing this up. After 2 kids, I hardly have any sex. Once a month if I am lucky. It sucks and I attribute this to unnecessary quarrels and frustration.

To some of the bros in here, I do not think that we need help. Its them (the women) who actually need help. In my humble opinion, their maternal instincts take over to look after the kids which is great but they have forgetten that marriage is a balance. Some shield themselves from sex by using the kids as a excuse. I feel that if sex is not taken into serious consideration at marriage time, we are left with resorting to porn, websites such as this, affairs, ONS, HCs, geylang and what have you. At times, this can actually break up families. So to those who think that sex is not a reason to consider, better think again.

[Assworshipper]

After reading all the experiences you bros have with your wives, I'm surprised and relieved that I'm not alone! Personally I don't think "conservative" is the word that should be used to describle most of our wives here. It's more like being selfish!!! Only think about themselves and not us! I feel that making love to us, the husbands, is the basic duty that a wife should have.

Yes they may have kids to take care or other things to mind but surely out of 365 days a year there bound to have a time when they want sex right?

I'm not saying that I don't love my wife... I really love her... Yes I do but sometimes I just find that women are just plain selfish!

A ferocious tiger will lose it's aggressiveness forever after being caged for a long time. I just don't want it to happen to my little brother as well...

[Frankiestine]

I guess there are basically two school of thoughts here, while one feels that a marriage can survive without sex and can managed itself well based on love alone. There are others like yours truly here who feels that sex in a marriage strengthens it. For me, sex with my wife helps to strengthen the initimacy that I feel for her. What is love between a man and woman if there is no intimacy. If sex is just monotonous and based on bang, slam, wham and damn it's over, wat the dif doing it commercially thou I don;t deny there are some commecial ladies out there who really gives you a much better value fuck then your own wife.

[darylcch]

At least I am not alone, no wonder birth rate getting lower and divorce rate getting higher...Singapore wife thought they are damn capable; can work and earn money to support herself mean everything. Sometime, I just think over, why she need a husband. She will laze around at home doing nothing. Taking care of housework and kid all done by maid. She will use money to pay for all these so that we guys cannot say much things.

My sex with my wife getting more and more boring. She don't even like to kiss while having sex. Reason: Around brush teeth.
Cannot lick and suck her breast. Reason: Later need to wash up.
Must lick and suck for her. Provided must brush my teeth first.
Will not suck for me. Reason: Don't like the taste and smell.
Do not like doggie style. Reason: very painful and cannot lie down on bed.

When watch some newspaper article or tv show regarding sex life, will just walk away and say I am pervert watching and reading all these.

I guess all SB bros have similar problems as me...

[Frankiestine]

My sex with my wife getting more and more boring. She don't even like to kiss while having sex. Reason: Around brush teeth.
Cannot lick and suck her breast. Reason: Later need to wash up.
Must lick and suck for her. Provided must brush my teeth first.
Will not suck for me. Reason: Don't like the taste and smell.
Do not like doggie style. Reason: very painful and cannot lie down on bed.

When watch some newspaper article or tv show regarding sex life, will just walk away and say I am pervert watching and reading all these.
Hahaha for a minute there i was beginning to believe that we could be sharing the same wife or she probably has some lost twins sharing the same genes...:p

[darylcch]

Haha....GIVE ME A FIVE!!

Maybe we should ask the gals in this forum to give us their piece of mind....or are there any married gals reading this forum???

[emperor]

I think these women are stupid. If only they realise how much power and influence they wield................

[Frankiestine]

I think these women are stupid. If only they realise how much power and influence they wield................
tats true bro, like a prc once told me that it is so simple to get what a woman wants is to give a man what he needs..but she had noticed that most singaporean woman are much too arrogant and stupid to realise that...

"THE WAY TO A MAN HEART IS THRU HIS DICK"...:D

[Shiokday]

"THE WAY TO A MAN HEART IS THRU HIS DICK"...:D
not forgetting that great boobs oso can win a man's heart...:D

[Frankiestine]

not forgetting that great boobs oso can win a man's heart...:D
lidat this one courtesy of me to u...but this one probably i suffocate to death if my face under it..

http://img216.imageshack.us/my.php?image=jennyhill0019ef.jpg

[guymelef]

man love for sex,woman sex for love.its hard for a man to love a woman in long term without sex.hope tat bro with this problem can solve it fast or love wun be ard anymore.......

[sugardad]

Well... , I so damn happy that I now realised that my wife is not the special one. Ok, let me put it this way.

This is what is wrong. I am lucky if I hav it from her 12times a year!!!!!:mad:

A little background will help you guys to figure out whats wrong.

I left sg to work in Malaysia after my first marriage(no kids). During then I met my current wife, everything was great and sex was definately good. We got married, had two kids there after. Suddenly she refuses sex after the second.

I am somewhat consider not too bad. Own business, with OK income, a semi-D house, got maids, 3 cars and two shop to collect rental. In terms of finance, there is no problem. We are somewhat close cos we share a few hobbies.

For the first year, I was puzzle why? then 2 nd year, I threaten that if she don't comply, our marriage is gona break down. Things improved but back to sq1 3 months later. So as every qtr goes it had become from bad to worse. I may hav to buy 4D if I am gonna hav sex witth her.

See where its all heading, the fustration, the anger. So I started fooling around, like 1 niter la, WL, HC and GF. My wife was driving me nuts till I literally dont care and cont the relationship with my GF cos the ego I got in return was to prove that 1) I am stil an attractive man 2) I can still hav GF as and when I want too. 3) And I am a good fucker ( with wife 3 min with GF 30 min ).

She later plead with me and promise to change again if I don't fool around anymore. So, wife ma, deal made and accept and again was bluff into it again and again.

So what do I do now?? I still F around but I really wipe myself clean. And she still refuse to hav sex with me.

Let me tell you a bit of my wife. She is a beautiful and sexy woman. 34 B/C, 24 and 34. Stands at 1.55m and weigh 48kg. Stunning long hair The last time she went to a GYm, there were still single guys aftering her.

You guys are still not too bad and for me,can see cannot touch for 9 damn years cos she runs around naked in our bedroom and some what consider sexy dressing when we are out

All our friends think and envy me but who the hell knows what I have is worse than a rubber doll.

Don't tell me abt talking cos till today, I am still talking to her and all grounds are covered still she refuse to see a doctor or counsellor. My 2nd last trump card is to get my mum to talk to her when I send them to a long holioday in Europe.

Guess what, on top of all this, we are still a happy family.

[MMM88]

not surprising .....sexless marriage will lead to divorce......
8 years ago ....i know of 6 happily married couples (including me lah).....now only 2 couples remains (including me lah).......
Man....wtf is tis world becuming ???:(

[Assworshipper]

Since so many wives here started not having sex after giving birth, it makes me wonder whether is it a physical problem where their hormones begin to change or a psychological one where they just feel that they are a mother now so they must be pure and chaste???

[Castrol]

I am somewhat consider not too bad. Own business, with OK income, a semi-D house, got maids, 3 cars and two shop to collect rental. .

wow bro... this is "not too bad" only ah? :D

[sugardad]

Well if its converted in SG$, then the income is just above average. Maybe only can afford a apt and may two smaller car lo. Anyway thats not the point.

Was talking to my Girlfriend abt it.... Not Grilfriend type of girlfriend but A close friend that happen to be a female..... Kinda difficult to explain the sexless part...... but she was suprise when I said this had been going on for a few years but later understand why there were different chicks all the time.

Well guys, I lose sex with wife but gain a hell lots of freedom. Maybe my girlfriend was right, If wife doesn't know that I am flirting around, its OK.

Currently , wife is making lots of woo-Ha over me meeting my ex-gal for lunch . At least there is a new excuse for wife to go another 3 months without sex n am sick n tired over the same excuse she was making. For your info, I met up with my ex-gal cos she was wondering whether or not to send me a pink bomb for her wedding. Guess what, I am not going to tell my wife abt it.

Sian la, maybe go and wack some golf balls later.

Cheers.

[KingBong]

Curious to know, why does she want to remain celibate??
Biological or emotional reasons?

Well... , I so damn happy that I now realised that my wife is not the special one. Ok, let me put it this way.

This is what is wrong. I am lucky if I hav it from her 12times a year!!!!!:mad:

A little background will help you guys to figure out whats wrong.
...

[game10199]

Currently , wife is making lots of woo-Ha over me meeting my ex-gal for lunch .
Sian la, maybe go and wack some golf balls later.

Cheers.

bro sugardad,

*clap, clap clap*

Woman dam good at giving excuse for don't want sex!

And I agree - best solution: hit the range and prepare to earn some money in the next 18 holes.

best regards,
game10199

[InnocentBaby]

Hmmm... I'm not sure am i suppose to be respone about this threat. Just try to talk about wats my opinion about 'Sexless Marriage'. Besides, I'm still single here.
Well... Sometime, i do admit bout myself really desperate for an 'indulgence' from a guy. Most of my friend thinks i'm really tat desperate for a bf. (Yeah i do need a BF pls!!) But when things come to the sex part, seriously have to say tat I need someone who can satisfy me well to be my future hubby. Hahaha... I know its sounds kinky, or mayb it sounds really 'bitchy'. I'm not a FL here neither not a One-Nighter. I'm open minded enuff to talk about anything (in the other way, we call tat 'ke-poh' in everything! haha) but open minded doesnt mean we are 24hours free for sex rite? (Atleast tats wat i think about myself)
I can be very really innocent n sincere to a guy, when i really fall to tat someone. But when if i found tat he cant satisfy me... awh god, i cant stand to be pretending to say 'please... do it slowly, i'm still new...' when i'm on the bed.. I know there is still 'some' gals who wanna keep thier virginity for thier 1 n only future hubby. Well, tats wat make thm think thier hubby are the 'ONLY ONE' (if tat is a Happy Family) But i guess tis kind of 'species' had left not much. Dude, I dun think guys now days prefer to have tis kind of 'species' too either, dont u think so?
Wat i try to say is... Yeah, i know some guy do mind about how many man thier future wife had sex with, even women do mind about the same thing too. But how if the 'wifey' tat you had married, are experience enuff to satisfy u, wondering tat how 'wonderfull tis family are' < dont u think so? haha...
Tats how the 'Sexless Marriage' happen when you found the 'wifey' aint satisfying u. *headache*

[last_mohican]

Hmmm... I'm not sure am i suppose to be respone about this threat. Just try to talk about wats my opinion about 'Sexless Marriage'. Besides, I'm still single here.
Well... Sometime, i do admit bout myself really desperate for an 'indulgence' from a guy. Most of my friend thinks i'm really tat desperate for a bf. (Yeah i do need a BF pls!!) But when things come to the sex part, seriously have to say tat I need someone who can satisfy me well to be my future hubby. Hahaha... I know its sounds kinky, or mayb it sounds really 'bitchy'. I'm not a FL here neither not a One-Nighter. I'm open minded enuff to talk about anything (in the other way, we call tat 'ke-poh' in everything! haha) but open minded doesnt mean we are 24hours free for sex rite? (Atleast tats wat i think about myself)
I can be very really innocent n sincere to a guy, when i really fall to tat someone. But when if i found tat he cant satisfy me... awh god, i cant stand to be pretending to say 'please... do it slowly, i'm still new...' when i'm on the bed.. I know there is still 'some' gals who wanna keep thier virginity for thier 1 n only future hubby. Well, tats wat make thm think thier hubby are the 'ONLY ONE' (if tat is a Happy Family) But i guess tis kind of 'species' had left not much. Dude, I dun think guys now days prefer to have tis kind of 'species' too either, dont u think so?
Wat i try to say is... Yeah, i know some guy do mind about how many man thier future wife had sex with, even women do mind about the same thing too. But how if the 'wifey' tat you had married, are experience enuff to satisfy u, wondering tat how 'wonderfull tis family are' < dont u think so? haha...
Tats how the 'Sexless Marriage' happen when you found the 'wifey' aint satisfying u. *headache*


Wait till ur married babe...:cool: you will undergo a huge tranformation that totally beyond belief...you might not agree with me now b'cos you are young,attractive and sexually healthy but there will come a time that you will be a mother and SEX is totally not a priorty...I share Gent predicament..my words of advice to gent is to hang in there my dear Brader, cause 'patient pays'... "the first six years is the real test for all newlyweds" if you could overcome that hurdle i can assure you that overthing will be ok.
COMMUNICATION is the golden key brader Gent

[Oakley76]

COMMUNICATION is the golden key brader Gent[/QUOTE]

yo bro.. many have told me that communication is the golden key. I tried. And tried and tried so many times. Smooth talk, diplomatic talk and whatsoever. When things go wrong, I tried letting her understand the bigger picture. But dunno why, eversince we are married, there are no grounds for compromise. Will be accused of yelliing if talked a lil louder. As man, have to always mantain the nice smooth tone. Tone not right also kanna bombard. Then she will skip whatever we were discussing and said no mood to talk. Whenever she has an agenda to discuss, ah... she will show "black" face for few days first. Then start the usual unhappy, angry tone. Guess wat? I am supposed to go thru all that and answer all her queries... Sigh... understood from my buddies that women changes after marriage. You have such problems too?

[last_mohican]

COMMUNICATION is the golden key brader Gent

yo bro.. many have told me that communication is the golden key. I tried. And tried and tried so many times. Smooth talk, diplomatic talk and whatsoever. When things go wrong, I tried letting her understand the bigger picture. But dunno why, eversince we are married, there are no grounds for compromise. Will be accused of yelliing if talked a lil louder. As man, have to always mantain the nice smooth tone. Tone not right also kanna bombard. Then she will skip whatever we were discussing and said no mood to talk. Whenever she has an agenda to discuss, ah... she will show "black" face for few days first. Then start the usual unhappy, angry tone. Guess wat? I am supposed to go thru all that and answer all her queries... Sigh... understood from my buddies that women changes after marriage. You have such problems too?[/QUOTE]

Ditto bradder:( ...but i'm on my 8th year running and we r much better now..well after counselling with a marriage counsellor...Women r such a DRAG after marriage...NO Woman No Cry!!!No Chee By I DIE!!!....ha ha

[emperor]

Well if its converted in SG$, then the income is just above average. Maybe only can afford a apt and may two smaller car lo. Anyway thats not the point.

Was talking to my Girlfriend abt it.... Not Grilfriend type of girlfriend but A close friend that happen to be a female..... Kinda difficult to explain the sexless part...... but she was suprise when I said this had been going on for a few years but later understand why there were different chicks all the time.

Well guys, I lose sex with wife but gain a hell lots of freedom. Maybe my girlfriend was right, If wife doesn't know that I am flirting around, its OK.

Currently , wife is making lots of woo-Ha over me meeting my ex-gal for lunch . At least there is a new excuse for wife to go another 3 months without sex n am sick n tired over the same excuse she was making. For your info, I met up with my ex-gal cos she was wondering whether or not to send me a pink bomb for her wedding. Guess what, I am not going to tell my wife abt it.

Sian la, maybe go and wack some golf balls later.

Cheers.


Please see a good lawyer immediately. She's setting the stage for her hidden agenda.

Women typically love to operate this way - look for a catalyst to start a chain-reaction of events that will justify a course of action. A course of action she's always wanted to take but doing it this long winded way makes her look like the "victim" and you "the evil one".

Despite your "eating out", you're hell of a lot more straight and sincere than her. Protect yourself now! Start renaming/transfering assets and open offshore accounts for your money.

[sugardad]

Dear Emperor,

Believe me, thats a bad call, my wife are entitle to what I hav earn but these ground are covered. I not too worried abt that as she knew very well that if I am brought down she goes down as well.

Hidden agenda?? That can only happen if her whole family plus my own mother conspire against me. Possibibility ? yes but extremly unlikly.

[Frankiestine]

Hidden agenda?? That can only happen if her whole family plus my own mother conspire against me. Possibibility ? yes but extremly unlikly.
Well my mum hinted to my ex rsm that i "curi makan" outside, cos she does all my washing and there were a few ocassions when I had used my hanky to wipe my mouth after I "curi makan" but still slight traces of lip stick...but i guess she did it with good intentions as she didn't want to see our marriage breaking down and was hoping my ex rsm could salvage the situation before it got worse...

that why nowadays no more hankys for me only tissue paper...hehehe also good for wiping off sperm after cumming...:D

[wanker10]

Hi Bro,

Funny though, over here, we are all upset about sexless marriage but in China, as reported in today The New Paper, there are these agencies promoting sexless marriage & the response are quite good.:(

What has the world become???

[heatingup]

Gent & fellow bros in same shit,

1 more sorry plight.... sex LESS, then sexless marriage

I am married for 4 years, with a 1.5 year old kid.
For the first 3-4 months after our customary wedding and first penetration, we had sex 3 times a week. Then the frequency dropped to twice a week, sometimes every 4 days. My wife complained abt her work stress, long OT hours, tiredness, and housework and had little energy for sex. Sometimes an argument would lead to a cold war and a no-sex week.

My wife insisted sex must be on Fridays or Saturdays & must be before 11pm so that she won't be so tired the next day. Sex on Sundays is a no no. So sex became a weekly and weekend routine. I had been rejected many times because I crossed the timeline.

My wife had a miscarriage, followed by sex phobia. So no sex for next few months. Then we tried for baby again. There were spotting so gynae checked and told us we could not have sex during her pregnancy. For the sake of our baby, we had to endure. I didn't want her to BJ me for fear my semen would go into the baby (just in case). So most of the time I DIYed for she was too tired to give me handjobs.

In the first 3 months after our baby was born, we couldn't do it because of her wound and didn't do so due to tiredness of looking after our new-born.

I thought our sex life will slowly revert back to at least once a week now that my child is 1 year old. Guess what? My baby wants to sleep in between us. She needs that sense of security to fall asleep.

Next, other work & family troubles deplete my wife's energy everyday. So sex becomes a festive-it exists but seldom happen.

I desire sex 3 times a week, and I know I need it 2 times a week (to clear my water-tank). We only do it once a fortnight, and that it NOT the worst.

The lack of sex has caused a significant drop in my sex stamina. I don't last as long as before anymore and turned from an average to a fast shooter!!! Sometimes even less than 2 mins of penetration. :( That's the beginning of a man's nightmare. This problem persists & I mentioned my problem to her after putting up with it for quite sometime. She took my serious problem lightly and said, "No choice what!" :mad:

Sexperts recommend 'Practice makes perfect' but how about not having the chance to practice in the first place? My TCM doc recommended doing the seond round after a 1-2 hour interval and don't fall asleep during the break. He said the duration of the second round can be very longer. I told him, I didn't even have the chance to do the first round, how to do the second round?

Right now, no sex, no BJ. I DIY twice a week to clear my tank. Even during DIYs, i either come fast or my dick is only semi-hard.

Do anyone of you know how can I regain my penis hardness & stamina?
Thought of going for groin massage to improve blood circulation.... Any good masseuse to recommend? Many thanks

[oahpekahsom]

Sorry to hear that there is no sex in ya marriage. Agreed with some bros here that comms is the key. Rem how ya tackle ya wife in boy-girl relation partoh days....girls are actually easy to please(contrary to wat you think)

They just want a cuddle, hug (not leading to sex), sms them during the day how are things, that ya miss her, send her flowers not on her birthday, wedding anniversary, drop your fav TV program to spend time listening to her gossip.... sure score points.

If the previous methods you use has no effect, then what is the harm using another method, Sometimes as the old saying goes "Put out a long line to catch big fish". The same principle lah.

Bottom line, sincerity n commitment must be there..

Try these lah, and use ya trusty right-hand man(your hand that is) to PCC in the mean time to ease ya sexual needs. lol

all the best!!

[Frankiestine]

Gent & fellow bros in same shit,

1 more sorry plight.... sex LESS, then sexless marriage

Right now, no sex, no BJ. I DIY twice a week to clear my tank. Even during DIYs, i either come fast or my dick is only semi-hard.


ONe more bro joins the long and never ending list...what frightens me the most is not the no sex part that we can always settle ourselve but the fact that I have to go to bed with my wife for the remaining days of my life...:(

[Wins88]

Gent & fellow bros in same shit,

1 more sorry plight.... sex LESS, then sexless marriage
Right now, no sex, no BJ. I DIY twice a week to clear my tank. Even during DIYs, i either come fast or my dick is only semi-hard.

Do anyone of you know how can I regain my penis hardness & stamina?
Thought of going for groin massage to improve blood circulation.... Any good masseuse to recommend? Many thanks

Bro, really sorry to hear this. I think you really need alternative ways to release as urs is such an unhealthy situation. Hope things get better for you soon!

[thaiholebanger]

ONe more bro joins the long and never ending list...what frightens me the most is not the no sex part that we can always settle ourselve but the fact that I have to go to bed with my wife for the remaining days of my life...:(

I wonder is it just Singaporean girls who are like that?
It seems that girls now are too caught up with other things to see that it is actually quite simple to make a man happy....

[Frankiestine]

I wonder is it just Singaporean girls who are like that?
It seems that girls now are too caught up with other things to see that it is actually quite simple to make a man happy....
that why most of us guys are easy meat for those china meis...all they have to do is charm our hearts and our dick then we are dead meat...

[Sexatronic]

Its so appalling to know so many bros here share the same experience....:( No wonder SG is at the bottom of the list in the recent survey by Durex.

[Xfactor]

This is bad....When i 1st came to know this thread, i tot hey i'm not alone but its been a while since i log in...wow we can form a platoon of sexless married man to rockz the whole lorong in GL.

I've a high sex drive & i'm lucky enough to try out so many things (sex) in life, be it 1-1, 3some,gang-bang,1 nite stand..those were the good old days. Since i settle down 8yrs back, its a little different as times passes.

My wife, goody goody type. Compare to those that i've whack before she's far from it but we manage to click & settle down within 3 months & rom.(not shotgun)

Yeah, in my mind, i always tot, get a wife like that will be good, at least will behave & be a good wife/mother...kekekeke ya rite..

Our 1st few years not too bad, i've manage to convince her to be adventures(refer my old posting) but after having our 1st kid, things change.....

From once per month to once every 3 months & now......for 5 months i still yet to score;) Sad rite...

Even if we were to do it, she will just lie down & wait for me to cum & pack-up...u don't get the kick u want at all, no face expression, no surround sound...just simply quick quick, pain pain....r u done...hurry....Tissue paper...

Thats life, since i'm in it.

What i worry most is not about the sex, what if a gal who just step into my life & treat me better than she does, freaking good sex partners etc...Will i get stuck in between, will i think of divorce....its scary to think about it

On the brighter side, at least we have sammyboy to kill our time, PCC with so many happening clips or story...

By the way, its been 3 yrs we did not sleep in the same room cos all this while she sleepy with my kid.

So any suggestion for a man who is having a king size bed, sleepying alone & happily PCC away....Welcome to my world..

Take it easy bros...u r not alone:cool:

[zeus73]

http://www.dumpanimage.com/up/t2/20051116/UyzXzXxRgZ.jpg

[sugardad]

To curb my high sex-drive, I started playing Golf, so one thing good is that I lost alot of weight ( abt 15kg ). Now just started Gym, expect to really tone up my body then maybe can be more attractive to my wife and any other gal.

I really give it some thought over the sexless issues and also examine what other bro had said. Maybe we need a sexlees wife here to tell us what is wrong.

But my own observation is that being a woman, regardless she is a wife or not, she still need to be woo by man. It could be because that we are taking things for granted and even if we attempt to woo her, we are most likely going thru the motion. Cos already wife ma, so no need to do that much thing lo.

Well, woman need to be feel to be wanted. Having said that, maybe I really need to use a different approach. I will do it when they come back from Europe Trip. At the mean time, Pump more Iron to better tone my body and stay more attractive to other woman.

[gent]

I guess it's like what Sugardaddy had mentioned.

Perhaps the "passion" is less after marriage and a couple started to take things for granted. Maybe our wives take it for granted that we don't need sex :(

[LOWCHUI]

I am surprised this thread on SEXLESS MARRIAGE continues to find new contributors & brothers in the same boat.

I hope to hear brothers' comments on SEXLESS MARRIAGE in a different context.

Someone I know loves his wife.

Sex used to be great.

Then wife becomes bloated & really heavy.

Unlike those typical 'lost-interest-in-sex' wives highlighted here, the wife is in late 30s & get more horny with age.

But she has lost sex appeal to the husband.

So much so, husband's sex drive still strong but whenever do with wife, performance becomes so bad, he starts to think he is impotent.

To reassure himself, he cheong, pcc, surf sammyboy - ok lah, still not too bad but experience with wife has dented his confidence.

Start to avoid & phobia of sex with wife.

Still loves wife, but how to tell wife he is no longer sexually attractive to him ?

Still have to imagine someone's face, body, some other shiok experience whenever he performs husband duty.

Isn't that another torture compare to sexless marriage?

At least, from past threads, I dun see the wives complaining even though husband frustrated - so at most eat outside.

In this case, the fat wife still demands sex & is getting hard to satisfy.
Even ask husband to buy dildo & finger her continuously when husband due to disinterest either experience Premature ejac. or erectile dysf.

Hope to hear bros views & comments on such phenomenon.

Are they common ?

[u-vindicate-mi]

ya..i agreed women do take things for granted. they simply dont realised that sex to us is like makeup to them..we cant live without it..god didnt give us a cock and hole for nothing. if god really meant for us to have sex to procreate.. then he wouldnt just give women menses for 1 week..i mean menses is really for women to take a break if their men is super horny.

some almighty being up there should come down someday and clarify this thing.if our wife can be more accomadating and try to enjoy the fuck.. i tink less of us wuld need to visit sammyboy or prc.
we dont marry simply becoz of love wat.. and free sex too.. hahaha..sometimes being an animal is better..coz they get all the sex they wan..anywhere anytime..with everyone.

[Niceman]

Bro Xfactor
Is not a platoon, it is a Division by now.....:p
Try foreplay and not straight sex, try sexy massage and slowly, try finger her at 3am, ......i tried all these, it help most of the time...cos at 3am, wife is blur blur stage, and too blur to stop, so finger and strip her naked, has not been a problem, hehe.........

Some tips only lah, if others bro. got tips, pls tell also....:D

[Frankiestine]

I am surprised this thread on SEXLESS MARRIAGE continues to find new contributors & brothers in the same boat.

I hope to hear brothers' comments on SEXLESS MARRIAGE in a different context.


Still loves wife, but how to tell wife he is no longer sexually attractive to him ?

Bro looks is one thing, what the point of having fuck the greatest body on earth but she just lies there like a dead wood...now monster don't claim to have done it all...but having fucked 60 yo grannies to 100kgs baby elephants...there was only one word that kept me cumming back..."SHIOK"...

Monster don't deny, my rsm got one hell of a body..even my friends called it "Mo Niu Seng Chai"....but wat the point...she cannot even give a bj even if her own life depends on it...so sometimes it goes beyond the physical appearances when it comes to sex...

[Frankiestine]

Try foreplay and not straight sex,
She say here ticklish there ticklish...:(
try sexy massage and slowly, try finger her at 3am,
bite my head off for disturbing her sleep....:(

[Xfactor]

Bro Xfactor
Is not a platoon, it is a Division by now.....:p
Try foreplay and not straight sex, try sexy massage and slowly, try finger her at 3am, ......i tried all these, it help most of the time...cos at 3am, wife is blur blur stage, and too blur to stop, so finger and strip her naked, has not been a problem, hehe.........

Some tips only lah, if others bro. got tips, pls tell also....:D

kekek Division, Oh yes, i did try those pointers that u mention, out of 5 times, only manage to score once & was even push away or showing black face by wife. I did wat i should do & i guess she's happy right now cos i totally leave her alone without talking about sex anymore.

So i guess life after being parents will be back to school days. PCC

[KingBong]

Have you guys tried foreplay. Here it doesnt just mean the kissing and touching before that, it is also the mental part which is important to women but not so much or even not required for guys. I personally agree in the sense that it doesnt take much for a guy to hard-on but for the opposite sex they require a lot more mental stimulations. However there are exceptions of women whom I come across who are just as horny or worst than guys. One even told me her r/s usually failed because the guy can't keep up with her sexual appetite. It's a fact that people change, so making it work is a 2-way process.

[Niceman]

:( .....guess ur wives rather conversative....i tot mine is conservative liao.....
So far, it work for me, about 70%..........

[Niceman]

I know a way liao.....email to Dr.Love, tell him all about all these problems and probably, hopefully, he could air it live and discuss about this "major crisiss" on TV so all our wives could see another side of the story, and not blame us, man, for having ECA.....

Education is the foundation. I guess...
How's the idea??? :p

[analog539]

Gent:

I hear yah! We had our third and wife scared of pain....so playground closed.
Hit tits have swllen due to breast feeding and she looks damn hot, just no sex.

How?

Man oh man!

:)
Jim

[sgpiggybank]

Hi Bro,

Not to be sad on this issue. I just have my first baby girl and I know from my wife that some women are scare to have sex after their first birth. This is due to a huge explosion below causing them to have such phobia. Maybe you should spent some time talking to her. This might helps.

[Kentn]

DIY lor! or go hunting

[InnocentBaby]

Have you guys tried foreplay. Here it doesnt just mean the kissing and touching before that, it is also the mental part which is important to women but not so much or even not required for guys. I personally agree in the sense that it doesnt take much for a guy to hard-on but for the opposite sex they require a lot more mental stimulations. However there are exceptions of women whom I come across who are just as horny or worst than guys. One even told me her r/s usually failed because the guy can't keep up with her sexual appetite. It's a fact that people change, so making it work is a 2-way process.


Well.. have to admit it sometime... As a gal (for me, I mean) When I'm not 'click' with the mood, thn I'm 'hardly' give my best performance. Is not the problem of 'Dun Wan to give', its the problem like... 'U aint making me happy (horny < tats the word i suppose), how am i gonna make u happy too?'
But anyway, tats just my comment. I guess every women do have the feeling of jealousy. For example, when thy find tat ur female colleague calls u (ur house number would be more 'Uhm!') or mayb saw some greeting sms msgs at ur phone? Make thm started to think, doubting... (not on the negative side) just let thm had a thought like > "I do have a Handsome Hubby, for sure alot of women admire him. Should i tied him up b4 other gals get to tie him?" < mayb tis can let thm try to 'tie' u up with the 'Bed KungFu'?:rolleyes:

[kingdong]

I agreed that marriage is not all abt sex... And if I can choose, I would prefer to have sex with my wife(rather than pro).. The problem is I have not even touch her, kiss her for the past 18 mths... isn't it too long?? We are married, but it just simply look like a family of father, mother and kid... that's all...

btw, she dislike porn movie so much that I dun even dare to keep one at home...

Comforting to know that I'm not alone in this. I haven't had sex with my wifey for 3yrs and like many bros here, her sexual urges have dropped to ZERO after the birth of our son. I've more like seen over the horizon liao and try not to think about this issue cos it's upsetting.

Many years back:
1) sex is like 1 time a week
2) bj is like once in a blue moon
3) catbath and hj quite frequent
4) french kissing and cuddling yes

As of 12/1/2006:
1) last time had sex with her was like in Feb 2003
2) bj is like over her dead body
3) cannot even kiss her in the mouth cos she said her friends also liddat
4) cannot touch or cuddle her when sleeping cos combined body heat, too hot.
5) she won't even touch my didi now so we forget about hj.

The best past is when I tell her about all this, she suggest I go GL to release my urges ( but I believe she's not speaking from her heart)

Forget about what advises ppl give, I've already tried. Creating that atmosphere, go back to like when we were still dating, watch porno, ALL HAVE FAILED.

I do love my wife and I believe she loves me too, but it's this obstacle here thats a pain in the ass!
But because of my son no choice cos he's innocent or else I wouldn't rule out divorce.

[ricardo]

me after 1st kid think waited 1-2 month but during pregnancy got abit actions.

2nd kid waited 3 months coz she had some complication

3rd now 1 month old. still waiting to score. 2 nights ago plan and agreed to have some fun after kids sleep. but my son (2nd one) didn't by staying up late. by the time he sleep oredi 2am liao. go and check out wife slept like dead meat so decide dun disturb coz the baby took all her energy away.

hopefully can score by end of this week coz she bought some sexy underwear recently but body still a bit out of shape but i m too horny liao :D

[Frankiestine]

Comforting to know that I'm not alone in this. I haven't had sex with my wifey for 3yrs and like many bros here, her sexual urges have dropped to ZERO after the birth of our son. I've more like seen over the horizon liao and try not to think about this issue cos it's upsetting.

Many years back:
1) sex is like 1 time a week
2) bj is like once in a blue moon
3) catbath and hj quite frequent
4) french kissing and cuddling yes

As of 12/1/2006:
1) last time had sex with her was like in Feb 2003
2) bj is like over her dead body
3) cannot even kiss her in the mouth cos she said her friends also liddat
4) cannot touch or cuddle her when sleeping cos combined body heat, too hot.
5) she won't even touch my didi now so we forget about hj.

The best past is when I tell her about all this, she suggest I go GL to release my urges ( but I believe she's not speaking from her heart)

Forget about what advises ppl give, I've already tried. Creating that atmosphere, go back to like when we were still dating, watch porno, ALL HAVE FAILED.

I do love my wife and I believe she loves me too, but it's this obstacle here thats a pain in the ass!
But because of my son no choice cos he's innocent or else I wouldn't rule out divorce.


U have my utmost sympathies, looks like we are sailing in the same boat and it always the guys that take the rap when we have no choice but to seek our sextisfaction elsewhere..as if the wives did not play a part in drivng us to sexparation...

[Niceman]

Sad...
I think is time for all of brothers to be frank and open to it.
Time to tell our wives, we NEED SEX and sex is part of marriage, without, is like a marry and be handicap.

Actually, lots of misunderstanding can dun need to talk, once sextified, both parties will give in.

Sex actually can bridge gaps and dissolve misunderstanding, create more understanding environment.

:(

[InnocentBaby]

Sad...
I think is time for all of brothers to be frank and open to it.
Time to tell our wives, we NEED SEX and sex is part of marriage, without, is like a marry and be handicap.

Actually, lots of misunderstanding can dun need to talk, once sextified, both parties will give in.

Sex actually can bridge gaps and dissolve misunderstanding, create more understanding environment.

:(

Well, so sorry to heard about all Bro's problem. But i do agree tat SEX is part of the marriage. Even my dad also tell me the same thing. :rolleyes: Erm... Do u agree if i say : Satisfaction give Happiness ?

[Frankiestine]

Well, so sorry to heard about all Bro's problem. But i do agree tat SEX is part of the marriage. Even my dad also tell me the same thing. :rolleyes: Erm... Do u agree if i say : Satisfaction give Happiness ?
now you know why most gold digging prc women got one up over our local women..cos they know that the way to a man heart is thru his dick...:D

[Niceman]

lol, Bro Frank.
Well said, lol heehee...
Sillyporean ger cant compare on this ground.
Even in China, wives normally dont reject their hubby whenever they need sex. Is a fact. Is part of their duties, actaully, to sextified their husbands.

:D

[Frankiestine]

lol, Bro Frank.
Well said, lol heehee...
Sillyporean ger cant compare on this ground.
Even in China, wives normally dont reject their hubby whenever they need sex. Is a fact. Is part of their duties, actaully, to sextified their husbands.

:D
i don't claim to speak for any others but at least i tried to please my woman in bed and not treat her as if she is a sex slave purely to provide carnal pleasure for me..but when complain about lack of it..they say we treat them like sex slave..

[analog539]

Sad...
I think is time for all of brothers to be frank and open to it.
Time to tell our wives, we NEED SEX and sex is part of marriage, without, is like a marry and be handicap.

Actually, lots of misunderstanding can dun need to talk, once sextified, both parties will give in.

Sex actually can bridge gaps and dissolve misunderstanding, create more understanding environment.

:(
Anybody writing here has already tried this. i can't work out how all these women thing, especially my own wife. Dind't her Mother tell her the score on this? Either hubby gets it at home or will get it elsewhere? What's so complicated?

Simple...no?
:)
Jim

[asdfghjkl]

sex is indeed an important part of marriage.. maybe can buy her some erotic books or magazine to spice her up.. kekeke :)

[ramon]

I never had sex with my wife coming to 6 years now. So how did it happen? Before we got married she was staying at my house and we had sex like 3 days a week for a few years, after marriage we had sex during her fertile periods cos both of us were really stressed out with work but we want to have a baby. After birth we stop completely, she didn't ask for it and I didn't want to have it cos she's quite a conservative person who dun like bbbj and different positions (she thinks it's obscene).

So I ended up with my HJs in the shower, GLs and MPs. But that doesn't mean I dun love my wife or we dun get along. My idea of having a wife is like having a companion that probably can last a lifetime. As much as I want to look young and be young, one day I'm going to be "lau kok kok" and that someone who is going to stick around with me will be my wife who will nag, scold and chide me till either one of us kick the bucket first.

[analog539]

Gent, mitmit and others, you all are not alone. Me also, after wife gives birth two ago. Suddenly avoid sex. Saying its dirty. Last time courtship days, still got hj, bj and lots of fj. Now, have to beg her like hell also no sex. Tried to go back to basic like communicate more, hold hands, give presents, romantic dinners, impress her with many things also no avail. Worse, she sleeps with her child every nite. I sleep alone in masterrm. Even she changed also must closed drs in order not to let me see. Sometimes, I thought of divorce but our communication is good except we dont hv sex. Right now I have to DIY myself. So regret marrying. Perhaps those who wish to be my friends can email to me at jswong88atyahoodotcomdotsg
Hi hear yah man!

Mine sleeps with the littlest one, I sleep with the other ones.....
Not like b4 the kids when she used to complain she not getting enough.....now table is turned. Hardly anything...tried last week, interrupted twice by the kids. She end up giving me tit fuck which is nice but need it everyday, not once per month. She said breast feeding no urge, too bad as her boobs are bigger...also scared of pain after birth and she think she not sexy anymore. Aiyah.....

How?

:)
Jim

[analog539]

Dear Brothers,

I have a flip situation for you guys to consider.

What if wife has become out of shape, put on weight & no longer appeals to you ?

Yes, there is still 'kum cheng'/love, but subject is just not sexually attractive any more.

Yet she wants to 'it' & probably even more gian as years go by?

Then how?

Tell her you no longer turn me on?
Then die die, one have to imagine something exotic while doing it, all in all, a very counter-productive experience that leaves each party worse off.

I am some husbands are in this situation.

Then how ?

At least, this sexless marriage thread situation easier to handle, wife not interested - then no pressure what - just pcc or eat outside.

Easier to handle then the other scenerio I ust describe right ?
I spicifically warned my wife b4 we got married, you get fat, you gone. I'm not going to get fat and you'd better not either. But rules change mah....they're women, the only thing constant about women is they change their minds all the time.
:)
Jim

[analog539]

Might as well jump into the fray lah...

The CO and me have sparodic (read sparse) sex for last five years or so - we talking public holidays - only the english ones :D - say less than 5-6 times a year..

Funny thing is all other aspects of relationship seemed ok lor - what to do - solution? Nothing more to add lah - you can cheat, pay, pcc or whatever lah - I don't think got simple solution lah - sorry guys..

BTW talk? We talk about this until the cow come home, had kids and even the cow's kids come home - still no difference lah..

Raise the beer mugs guys, here's to cold nights, busy hands and rusty weapons..

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Cling-Cling, beers mugs Cling,
Jim

[analog539]

all these talks about terror-wives who dun want sex really makes me feel like not marrying. jialat siah... scared like hell.
might as well dun marry better.

You bet your ass you should be scared.
Stay free.
:)
Jim

[analog539]

Please see a good lawyer immediately. She's setting the stage for her hidden agenda.

Women typically love to operate this way - look for a catalyst to start a chain-reaction of events that will justify a course of action. A course of action she's always wanted to take but doing it this long winded way makes her look like the "victim" and you "the evil one".

Despite your "eating out", you're hell of a lot more straight and sincere than her. Protect yourself now! Start renaming/transfering assets and open offshore accounts for your money.

you can rename all you want.....
The only way is the HIDE the asset. All things aquired AFTER marriage are considered matrimonial assets, regardless of whose name they are in. The only protection you have is to HIDE stuff from here AND your lawyer....as an officer of the court, he would have to tell if he knows of any assets you have.

:)
Jim

[analog539]

Another post by me.....
Man this discussion has really got me going.
Few weeks back in today paper there was a full page article my a marriage cousilor that I made my wife read. He wrapped it all up saying, "The more sex you have the stronger your relationship. You MUST have sex and do it often, if you don't you will grow apart.". She read it and replied she has no urge because of nursing....
NO URGE? Like I have urge to hand over all my money at end of the month? I have urge to fix up house, repair everything, keep everything going? She never has to ask for the money, or for my time for the kids, my urge has nothing to do with it. ITS MY DUTY! What about HER DUTY as a wife?

Jesus, this shit really frustrates me.

Typical woman's refrain, "What mineis mine, what's your is ours.".

Blue balls,
Jim

[InnocentBaby]

NO URGE? Like I have urge to hand over all my money at end of the month? I have urge to fix up house, repair everything, keep everything going? She never has to ask for the money, or for my time for the kids, my urge has nothing to do with it. ITS MY DUTY! What about HER DUTY as a wife?

Jesus, this shit really frustrates me.

Typical woman's refrain, "What mineis mine, what's your is ours.".

Blue balls,
Jim

oh god.. can see wat is the world of after marriage now. Hopefully I wont be into tis situation. I mean hope i still enjoy sex with my hubby even after i get married or even after i get birth for a child... :o

[tommyboy290906]

www.Estravil.com

try the above link to electrify your women sex life.
In short Estravil is = to female Viagra, only it have to be consumed over a period of time like 7 days before having a horny wife. CFM look almost every day and her pussy will be engrossed upon excitement.:D

No more excuses like stress, dryness, headache etc.

Try it Bros on your gal & not yourself and more intimacy to follow soon...
Happy bonking.

[verisio]

Bros...

I'm in my mid twenties and I really enjoy reading all your posts and coming to Sammyboy to see more though I have not touched pros and all those funky stuff. I'm still a conservative one at heart but pcc regularly and really enjoy all your contributions which make me learn more about the outside world.

I've had gfs, most are quite ordinary... None too super horny like some of our lucky bros here. Currently single and chasing a serious girl as gf. I'm coming out of uni soon and hope to settle down with a serious gf.

But as I read this particular thread... I'm horrified. Super horrified. I'm scared... I know I'm damn horny. I need to release almost every alternate day to get the tension out. I'm worried for the future if i ever marry a girl and the situation becoems so bleak like what MOST bros describe here. It's making me think twice about getting a wife. I've thought also about getting a serious sex buddy for the fucking reasons minus the commitments.

I can see alot of bros here actually love their wives but due to lack of sex... they just have to 'outsource' it. Really, that's sad, but I can understand it though I've not experience it. I just cannot bear the thought of stopping my pcc routine.

I wish you bros all the best in your search for sex in your marriages... kekeke

[guruking]

<<they just have to 'outsource' it>>

LOL.....I like the way you put across yr thoughts....

[gent]

<<they just have to 'outsource' it>>

LOL.....I like the way you put across yr thoughts....

Haha... "outsource" is suppose to cut cost, somehow in this case, it involve $$ :D

[gent]

Well.. have to admit it sometime... As a gal (for me, I mean) When I'm not 'click' with the mood, thn I'm 'hardly' give my best performance. Is not the problem of 'Dun Wan to give', its the problem like... 'U aint making me happy (horny < tats the word i suppose), how am i gonna make u happy too?'
But anyway, tats just my comment. I guess every women do have the feeling of jealousy. For example, when thy find tat ur female colleague calls u (ur house number would be more 'Uhm!') or mayb saw some greeting sms msgs at ur phone? Make thm started to think, doubting... (not on the negative side) just let thm had a thought like > "I do have a Handsome Hubby, for sure alot of women admire him. Should i tied him up b4 other gals get to tie him?" < mayb tis can let thm try to 'tie' u up with the 'Bed KungFu'?:rolleyes:

Dear baby,

I do agree with u that "mood" is a very important factor for a woman when it comes to sex. I am sure you will cope well with ur future hubby cos' u understand the importance of intimacy in a marriage.

I think most "sexless" husbands here had tried many ways to reignite the passion with our wives... if our wives don't reciprocate, I guess there is nothing much we can do. We can book a 5 star Hotel for valentine day, with the most relax and cozy atmosphere/environment, it's still useless if she refuse to change her mindset(abt sex). We even travel overseas, imagine sleeping together for 5 days on the same bed, and no sex at all... Are we husband and wife?? I used to get very "depressed" over this issue in the past, but I am slowly getting use to it now. Sometimes, I even feel that I should consult a doctor on this... Am I normal?

[verisio]

I'm considering doing an academic paper on this issue next academic term. This has actually been an issue which I've wondered and read alot about it in the papers. If ever need to, I hope to do a few annonymous interviews with you bros here.

Think about it that it may improve the sexless lifes and dropping birth rates of SG.

SBF is great... learn alot of things which not thought in school and traditional schools of thought.

[spenceryap]

Dear Gent,

I think you still hv it good, my last sex w my wife was 6 months ago, i think. Lost count. I hv more or less given up on my wife and resort to websites like this, HCs and what hv you for sexual gratification. Mistresses, Fl, ONS the whole nine yards....been there done that.

At the end of the day, all men hv to ask yourself, what are you doing with her if there's no Mood, chemistry..what with you..btw the two of you.

For me, she the mother of my children and they need her till 21.

After that its goodbye.


Dear baby,

I do agree with u that "mood" is a very important factor for a woman when it comes to sex. I am sure you will cope well with ur future hubby cos' u understand the importance of intimacy in a marriage.

I think most "sexless" husbands here had tried many ways to reignite the passion with our wives... if our wives don't reciprocate, I guess there is nothing much we can do. We can book a 5 star Hotel for valentine day, with the most relax and cozy atmosphere/environment, it's still useless if she refuse to change her mindset(abt sex). We even travel overseas, imagine sleeping together for 5 days on the same bed, and no sex at all... Are we husband and wife?? I used to get very "depressed" over this issue in the past, but I am slowly getting use to it now. Sometimes, I even feel that I should consult a doctor on this... Am I normal?

[vanderful]

Hi guys, read all the comments and can only say I understand how you guys feel. Well my last marriage ended up in a divorce even before she started having babies!!! She went crazy about sports and started having hormonal changes and our sex life just died. I believe it has also got to do with her conservative upbringing. She thinks doggie is dirty and is not willing to try various positions. I really feel stressed having sex with her. I think both of us did. I am rated one of the best guys with my previous sex partners but I can even heat my ex-wife up. Talk about deflated egos.

My guess with the situation our fellow bros are facing is that many of the gals that fall into the current age group (late 20s to late 30s) are brought up in conservative environment that frown upon sex. They dun have many sex partners or perhaps the hubby is the only sex partner they ever had. It is strange I dont find such problems prevailent with gals in the foreign countries. So is this just a Singapore thing?

I was lucky to have met a wonderful gal at a bar in a foreign country 2 years ago. I had a ONS with her and we have been living together since, and are getting married next month. We are both sexually active, sexually experienced and view sex as important part of our intimacy. There's nothing to hide about it. She is a wild thing and I am wild too so this fits us best. We have sex on average everyday cos I can orgasm without ejaculating. Sex is wonderful for us and we love each other very much.

I wish guys who are not yet married test out yr gf thoroughly or communicate with her before you sign the papers. For guys who already have kids, perhaps communications, time out for the 2 of you, mood creation for her and if needed, counselling could help solve the problem. Try not to resort to paid sex if possible cos its difficult to know when to stop.

[verisio]

Dear Gent,

I think you still hv it good, my last sex w my wife was 6 months ago, i think. Lost count. I hv more or less given up on my wife and resort to websites like this, HCs and what hv you for sexual gratification. Mistresses, Fl, ONS the whole nine yards....been there done that.

At the end of the day, all men hv to ask yourself, what are you doing with her if there's no Mood, chemistry..what with you..btw the two of you.

For me, she the mother of my children and they need her till 21.

After that its goodbye.

Aiyoh... how come so many marriages have such a high tendency to end up like this... No wonder less & less pple want to get married and tie the knot.

All the best in all your search for love, sex and companionship with that special one :)

[Frankiestine]

I used to get very "depressed" over this issue in the past, but I am slowly getting use to it now. Sometimes, I even feel that I should consult a doctor on this... Am I normal?
Bro I cannot agree with you more, it got me to the point when i started to question my myself, is there something wrong with me, am i not good enuf for her etc, all the doubts started setting in...:(

[Frankiestine]

At the end of the day, all men hv to ask yourself, what are you doing with her if there's no Mood, chemistry..what with you..btw the two of you.

For me, she the mother of my children and they need her till 21.

After that its goodbye.
I am contemplating a divorce, you are right what is the point of being husband and wife if there is really no chemistry, of costhose so call moralist sitting on their high horse will accuse us of only treating our wives like a sex slave...of only wanting them to sextisfied our needs..but been in the boat ourselves, we know it is more then that...

[plain]

you guys keep pointing the finger at WOMEN in general but have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ? Have you EVER wondered if it was YOU ?

Look back before she gave birth, look way back while you were still courting her back then... how far did you go to woo her? How lovey-dovey were you with her on and off the bed ?

show some appreciation to her, she gave birth to your child, taking care of them, feeding, caring.... pamper her like before, comment how nice she looks when she dresses up or puts make-up on. buy a card! an "I love you" card is good... date her out! (without the kids) and No... coffee-shop is NOT a place for a "nice" dinner... ambience is important boys! and do it often.

you WON'T get instant results... its gradual. just like how your unhappiness is happening to you guys now. Some say 6-mths, some 6 years... so imagine how much you have to "pay" her back for all those years.

[gent]

you guys keep pointing the finger at WOMEN in general but have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ? Have you EVER wondered if it was YOU ?

Look back before she gave birth, look way back while you were still courting her back then... how far did you go to woo her? How lovey-dovey were you with her on and off the bed ?

show some appreciation to her, she gave birth to your child, taking care of them, feeding, caring.... pamper her like before, comment how nice she looks when she dresses up or puts make-up on. buy a card! an "I love you" card is good... date her out! (without the kids) and No... coffee-shop is NOT a place for a "nice" dinner... ambience is important boys! and do it often.

you WON'T get instant results... its gradual. just like how your unhappiness is happening to you guys now. Some say 6-mths, some 6 years... so imagine how much you have to "pay" her back for all those years.

Dear plain,

I think u are right as in we need to be more patient(with our wives) and hopefully our sexlife will return to normal "gradually". Yes, I strongly agree with u that women need attentions and by "wooing" them again(like during courtship) will most probably grind out some "sparks". But remember this, once there is a kid, our wives will focus 100% or even more on the kid. We can make plenty of arrangement(Overseas trip, valentines day celebration, Anniver day, birthdays etc). The first question our wives will ask is "how abt our kid?". The truth is they will want to bring along the kid if going overseas, for dinner on our birthdays etc etc...

I am sorry if I offended any women with my comments... All these is purely my frustration and in fact after I "off-loaded" all my frustration here, I feel much better.

[Ayoshi Nakamura]

I guess it happens to almost every guy here. But at the end of the day we have to continue to love the woman we married. Sex or no sex life goes on *sign :o

[InnocentBaby]

Dear plain,

I think u are right as in we need to be more patient(with our wives) and hopefully our sexlife will return to normal "gradually". Yes, I strongly agree with u that women need attentions and by "wooing" them again(like during courtship) will most probably grind out some "sparks". But remember this, once there is a kid, our wives will focus 100% or even more on the kid. We can make plenty of arrangement(Overseas trip, valentines day celebration, Anniver day, birthdays etc). The first question our wives will ask is "how abt our kid?". The truth is they will want to bring along the kid if going overseas, for dinner on our birthdays etc etc...

I am sorry if I offended any women with my comments... All these is purely my frustration and in fact after I "off-loaded" all my frustration here, I feel much better.

Dear gent,
I'm not sure about tat. But as in KL, i guess most of the husband n wife do work even after thy had a kid in family. Some of wat i heard, thy send thier kids to live with thier parent > well, i guess tis do help thm to continue the intimancy relationship between husband n wife too... :o

[Kongsamiya]

Bros...

I'm in my mid twenties and I really enjoy reading all your posts and coming to Sammyboy to see more though I have not touched pros and all those funky stuff. I'm still a conservative one at heart but pcc regularly and really enjoy all your contributions which make me learn more about the outside world.

I've had gfs, most are quite ordinary... None too super horny like some of our lucky bros here. Currently single and chasing a serious girl as gf. I'm coming out of uni soon and hope to settle down with a serious gf.

But as I read this particular thread... I'm horrified. Super horrified. I'm scared... I know I'm damn horny. I need to release almost every alternate day to get the tension out. I'm worried for the future if i ever marry a girl and the situation becoems so bleak like what MOST bros describe here. It's making me think twice about getting a wife. I've thought also about getting a serious sex buddy for the fucking reasons minus the commitments.

I can see alot of bros here actually love their wives but due to lack of sex... they just have to 'outsource' it. Really, that's sad, but I can understand it though I've not experience it. I just cannot bear the thought of stopping my pcc routine.

I wish you bros all the best in your search for sex in your marriages... kekeke

Ha Ha..

Time is on your side.. Start doing your test drive first.. Find the most Hornist piossible partner you can and do a 10% discount on performance every year after marriage.. and you will roughly know the result when in your 40s....

[Kongsamiya]

you guys keep pointing the finger at WOMEN in general but have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ? Have you EVER wondered if it was YOU ?

Look back before she gave birth, look way back while you were still courting her back then... how far did you go to woo her? How lovey-dovey were you with her on and off the bed ?

show some appreciation to her, she gave birth to your child, taking care of them, feeding, caring.... pamper her like before, comment how nice she looks when she dresses up or puts make-up on. buy a card! an "I love you" card is good... date her out! (without the kids) and No... coffee-shop is NOT a place for a "nice" dinner... ambience is important boys! and do it often.

you WON'T get instant results... its gradual. just like how your unhappiness is happening to you guys now. Some say 6-mths, some 6 years... so imagine how much you have to "pay" her back for all those years.

Its True what you said, especially if wife is also working..
Sex was once very important in my first 2 years of marriage but we only do it 2 time a month - real good sex until our first child was born. We stopped all activities for 1 year and after that once in every 6 month. Our second child arrived after 5 year later and all sexual stopped for the next 3 years. Was very frastrated thinking what happened. Only I fully understand and appreciate her when I was Jobless for 1 year and stay at home to be a homemaker. The amount of energy and patenice you need for the kids and furthermore, she is also working. We are happily married for the last 15 years and to be very frank we had sex less than 100 times and now even worst as I am now working in Dubai and my family is still in Sillypore and I only goes back twice a year. I do really missed my dearly wife and kids..

So Bro out there, please be patience with your wife, sex doesn't means everything to your marriage, loved and be loved is the most valuable treasure for the family.. anyway, by time we are lau kok kok.. she will still be at your side...

[Kilograms]

Gee....din know of so much bros here facing such unfortunate situation.Tot it was me who's facing it alone. After reading all this post, i feel less depress as there are other members here.

Was wondering, CNY is around the corner, i'll be facing my wife at least 6 days, how to past time without having sex? Wrap an Red PAcket on my dick & surprise her?:D

[boobers]

Probably the best way now is to ask our female members to spread words to their friends about this site so that they know about our pressure inside...:(

[Frankiestine]

you guys keep pointing the finger at WOMEN in general but have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ? Have you EVER wondered if it was YOU ?

Look back before she gave birth, look way back while you were still courting her back then... how far did you go to woo her? How lovey-dovey were you with her on and off the bed ?

show some appreciation to her, she gave birth to your child, taking care of them, feeding, caring.... pamper her like before, comment how nice she looks when she dresses up or puts make-up on. buy a card! an "I love you" card is good... date her out! (without the kids) and No... coffee-shop is NOT a place for a "nice" dinner... ambience is important boys! and do it often.

you WON'T get instant results... its gradual. just like how your unhappiness is happening to you guys now. Some say 6-mths, some 6 years... so imagine how much you have to "pay" her back for all those years.


see so typical to point the fingers at the guys only....you think we haven't throw everything in the book to try and build the passion...how would you like it when you try to sex up your woman only for her to bite your head off...how would you like to have your woman play with you dick then next minute tell you she is not in the mood..how would you like it when you tried to arouse her by petting only for her to tell you it is irritating...how would you like it if 10 out 10 times you have to initiate sex and 9 out 10 she turn you down with all sort of reasons....how would you like it if she says she is tired at night but stays up the whole night watching tv...too tired to have sex but not too tired to stay for tv??:mad:

so bro or sis...if you have never been thru such a state, please don't just point your fingers blindly...

[JoyStick]

I think most "sexless" husbands here had tried many ways to reignite the passion with our wives... if our wives don't reciprocate, I guess there is nothing much we can do. We can book a 5 star Hotel for valentine day, with the most relax and cozy atmosphere/environment, it's still useless if she refuse to change her mindset(abt sex). We even travel overseas, imagine sleeping together for 5 days on the same bed, and no sex at all... Are we husband and wife?? I used to get very "depressed" over this issue in the past, but I am slowly getting use to it now. Sometimes, I even feel that I should consult a doctor on this... Am I normal?


Brudder, I've seen and heard guys like you end up in therapy (shrink's office alone). Sometimes I get mixed signals from my gal and I'm lost as well. The only consolation for me is that I'm not married to her yet. Believe me when I say that sometimes, women themselves don't know what they want, but it is more deadly when they know what they want and do not tell you about it. Give yourself some space and not read too much into it.

Ironically, women think that men are only in sex for sex's sake. That is not necessarily true (Ladies, please do some self-help reading and you'll know why I said so). Some men do genuinely want to please their partners in life and they do give in to their spouses (even when they know that the wife is in the wrong), but it takes a smart woman to come to her own senses and realize this and appreciate their husbands for their understanding. Smart wives build a strong marriage on this, others abuse it and take their husbands for granted and from then on think its their GOD given right to have her way in a marriage. Sure, the guy could keep this up for as long as he can endure it, but the marriage will eventually fail when the guy feels like he is a fool. Happens too often when a marriage is based on false expectations and unrealistic demands on either partner in a marriage. When one party fails to deliver, the contract gets terminated. Just a piece of info, your marriage cert is a legally binding contract. Hence, you can choose to terminate it by means of a divorce, when one party fails to abide by the stipulated clauses contained therein.

My personal advice (this is not a prescription) is to take time to build up intimacy. The little things. A kiss here (cheek, lips, palm, forehead), a touch there (hands, palm, waist, neck, ears, arms, shoulders). Get her warmed up and leave it at that. It’s not a prelude to foreplay or sex, but just making her feel like a desired woman again (desired as in not just desired for sex and a woman not just for sex). Save the flowers and dinner treat unless you are well-to-do and can afford to pamper your spouse, but if you use this as a form of emotional bribery, she start to expect this on a periodical basis, which is not a good thing for the marriage. However, if she is really suffering from post-natal depression, then all the above will not work. Meds and treatment is in order.

Please seek help by talking to friends (friends who are in a positive marriage) or trained professionals when the situation is no longer within your control. There is nothing embarrassing when a couple knows that there is a problem in the marriage and they are actively working towards making the situation better. This could help you let your spouse know how much you value this marriage and want to make it work with him/her. This can be mis-interpreted by some spouses, so it needs to be communicated tactfully in-order for it to work.

"Eating-out" is a known phenomenon and I am not condoning it, but it is a reality. Some marriages are just so bad that when I hear about them, I can't blame the guy/gal. Some spouses just refuse to admit that there is a problem in a marriage and remain adamant that there is still nothing wrong with the marriage even when they proceed with divorce proceedings. It is entertaining and sad to see two educated people refusing to admit that there is a problem that can be worked out by the two of them (on most occasions) and would prefer to end the marriage in a divorce.

I see too many of such cases and I just hope this change in values and perspective towards marriage and what it takes for a marriage to work does not get warped out of proportion. The "image" of marriage is different from 30 years ago, but the foundation of it has not changed much. I just hope people will not look at this piece of contract so lightly. It seems the level of tolerance and compromise in a marriage is diminishing as we speak.

Let me know if you really need some help.

[analog539]

you guys keep pointing the finger at WOMEN in general but have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately ? Have you EVER wondered if it was YOU ?"
You're making me laugh. OBVIOUSLY bro you are on the side lines and are a bystander in the conversation OR, perhaps you are one of the lucky ones married to a lady with her head screwed on.



"Look back before she gave birth, look way back while you were still courting her back then... how far did you go to woo her? How lovey-dovey were you with her on and off the bed ?"
I'm laughing ever harder here.

"show some appreciation to her, she gave birth to your child, taking care of them, feeding, caring.... pamper her like before, comment how nice she looks when she dresses up or puts make-up on. buy a card! an "I love you" card is good... date her out! (without the kids) and No... coffee-shop is NOT a place for a "nice" dinner... ambience is important boys! and do it often."
Now I'm on the floor.


"you WON'T get instant results... its gradual. just like how your unhappiness is happening to you guys now. Some say 6-mths, some 6 years... so imagine how much you have to "pay" her back for all those years.
Cards? Candy......
How about to 10 grand a month to pay for everything?
How about the coming home EVERY night after work?
How about the caring for the kids.

That's the stuff I do. She does some too but......
we both have duties in this, me and her. I recognise mine, does she recognise hers? She's a great mother, no doubt, but a great wife. Sorry, answer is no.

Bro, you haven written this on the side lines, you haven't a smick what you are talking about. You think the guys on this forum haven't tried all that easy stuff you suggested?

Please lah!

:)
Jim

[spenceryap]

Dear Plain,

Thank you for the suggestions but I don't think making blanket statements is mature thinking. In case you don't realise, we are trying to save our marriage rather than let it fall to pieces. It is different if we care-less and don't give a rat's ass about the family. The problem is we do.

We or at least I , am here to share and find solutions to our dilemma. Is frightening to see so many bros having the same problem. No wonder the divorce rate is one of the highest in our part of the world. To divorce is easy but that is not a solution; cause you'll hv others problems to worry about.

To all bros out there w/ constructive suggestions (even Plain) thank you.

[Frankiestine]

We or at least I , am here to share and find solutions to our dilemma. Is frightening to see so many bros having the same problem. No wonder the divorce rate is one of the highest in our part of the world. To divorce is easy but that is not a solution; cause you'll hv others problems to worry about.

To all bros out there w/ constructive suggestions (even Plain) thank you.
When we men go astray the women kpkb but they never stop to think for a moment that they have a part to play too for why we stray in the first place..

[dchew]

folks,

just watched Phoenix channel(No.50) last night on cable, they were interviewing a China professor who specialise in studying sexual behaviour.

according to him, a normal marriage must have sex & love. If short of either one, then it's abnormal marriage.

personally,i feel that for a wife to with-hold sex from the husband on the excuse of kids, work etc is all but bullshit excuses. If it's bcos of her losing confidence in her body after child birth, still can salvage. if it's any other reason, then depends how well you guys can "lun" already. i know i will not accept such behaviour.

FYI, i'm married & expecting my 2nd kid, hopefully, i won't be adding on to this post any further.:o

[spenceryap]

Dchew,

Best of wishes for your second child.

Anyway, guys, its time to stop mopping around and get some action.

Life is too short to be bitching over this; Just do and dunt get caught.

Hopefully we all wont have to contribute to this thread ever.

Btw, theres a book tt you can buy, its by a female doctor on how to make a marriage last. It ask for the woman to submit to the man. Am giving that to my wife. haha

[dchew]

Dchew,

Btw, theres a book tt you can buy, its by a female doctor on how to make a marriage last. It ask for the woman to submit to the man. Am giving that to my wife. haha


Spencer,

care to share the title of the book? it could be useful for all the bros here.:D

[Strider_sG]

i sympathise w bro ss2880.

my gf also the same, said that the cb closed up, even touch also scream out pain..... but she got no prob cumming by playing w her clit....

so i ended up w no sex, n the most she gave me is one bj n one hj the entire month we r together..

fuck up, u may call me anything u like, but at my age, i think i need sexual release too... n i never have this prob w all my previous gfs.... so to each his own, i cannot stand a relationship w/o sex
really jialat... i always believe that in a marriage sex is not everything but without it what is marriage... having sex bonds people togther and see when you just in a bgf relationships.. start holding hands to the point of having sex..and from that point how close the two becomes... secret is no longer a barrier and slowly they start to share things like problems and solutions.. My Two cents worth comments

[Strider_sG]

heh heh.. well, my gf is those high sex drive one but she dun believe in pre maritial sex.. so sex is out of the question.. we onli did petting.. afew times a week when we haf time.. however, she doesnt like me fondling her clit, say no feeling and painful, and she dun allow me to finger her, scared dat her hymen will break.. thus the only way for her to cum is to ride on me thru rubbing her chee bye with panties against my lan jiao wif underwear.. ( cannot naked cox scared pregnant.) seems dat she like it.. thus i haf no choice, though she dun allow oral sex even if i wana lick her.. dia0x.. come to her pcc skills, she isnt dat good though, out of 10 times i cum, onli 1-2 times i feel sibeh shiok only.. other den dat all like nt much feeling, i pcc myself oso better.. but wad to do? wives/gf are our other half, and we haf to respect their decision even though we still haf our needs. guess e only way is to slowly educate her and talk to her la.. juz like she got hairy chee bye, i slowly ask her to shave and tell her dat is more hygeniene and wont haf dat much smell.. can see some improvement in her la.. she go trim her cb hair, even though still so hairy and i ask her to shave.. but slowly la, take one step at a time lo.. one day she will come to understand one la.. patience bros.. PATIENCE!
have to let her know.. if not it will destroy relationships.. i had a gf and we were together for 2 years.. at first it was okay but as time goes by... she still show no interest in sex and in the end have to find other ways to relieve.. seriously.. they always blame men for not being faithful but us just want a small thing like a goox sex relationship.. and they cannot provide so do we have to shoulder all blame??? Sigh.. Being a man is hard especially a sillypore man

[tommyboy290906]

Hi bROS....
I've heard it all time after time, the same problem 9 out of 10 S'pore bros are experiencing. Mine too have the same problem even after 10 yrs of together.
Well ...I've not given up hope on her, recently I've tried getting her to take Estravil a couple of days before sex day and it work wonders on her more earger to have sex. See my post 133 on this Estravil.
Bros on your part get her to watch xxx, her sex fantasy stories and above all make her more horny for dicks.:p

got to bal the sex equation.

Some news on female viagra to be out soon 2006 after 2 yrs of testing.

[asjer]

Bros, first and foremost, am sorry to read about the plights of some bros here. Though i don't fall into the said category, i tried asking the mrs for her opinion why some women are totally off sex after marriage or have kids. Wonder if any bros know that our wives are gossiping behind our backs with their friends and colleagues about our techniques in bed!!!

Anyway, back to the issue, reasons stated are as follows :-

1) work - too tired and damn stressed out to even get horny
2) kids - priority always the kids 1st, parents 2nd then the hubby.
3) chores - having to do the chores like cooking, cleaning or making sure the maid done the cooking and cleaning
4) disappointment - women dream of a princess life after marriage and when they dun get it, they stop supplying.
5) hunk - most of us here tend to get out of shape with age especially the mid region, beer belly
6) cheating - some wives are actually cheating
7) mood - husband ain't as romantic as before marriage
8) explanation - the fear of waking the kids or having the kids walk-in and having to explain the act
9) bored - eating the same dish one too many times
10) lack of feeling - after years of marriage, the feeling towards the husband somehow diminishes

Some of the reasons are rather valid though have to admit some are really stupid but frankly speaking, women are hard to understand. For me, am married for 5 yrs and a kid in tow, points 1 and 2 are usually the excuses for her not giving whereas for me, points 1, 5, 6 and 9 are my reasons for not giving. Though we still do have sex, have to admit that the frequency goes down not by a notch but more like a fall. If ever there's a forum where women complain about sexless marriage, am sure my mrs would be there complaining! :p

[Frankiestine]

Bros on your part get her to watch xxx, her sex fantasy stories and above all make her more horny for dicks.:p
I tried to get my rsm to watch she think she just married a pervert..:(

[blackheart]

I tried to get my rsm to watch she think she just married a pervert..:(
Dear Bro Frankiestine,

If you think that is bad enough, I was in a even worse situation. When I suggested my wife to put on a slip nightie, she says I am "tiko" to suggest that. When I said what is the problem with wearing that as many wives are doing it, her answer is only sluts will do such things. :confused:

Thank god Janet came into my life and change all that (I guess you know what I mean).

Blackheart

[fat29]

Bro Blackheart,

You are very lucky to have Janet. Many other bros whose wife behave this way and got no money, no gift of the gab and therefore no Janets, really can't sleep well.

I suppose you will still be envied though your wife is not quite sexisfying you. Hope to hear more of your adventures and of course, while I secretly take lessons on the side by reading your real stories. May the rest of the bros in similar shoes, have their share of Janets in the year of the dog.:)

Rgds.

Dear Bro Frankiestine,

If you think that is bad enough, I was in a even worse situation. When I suggested my wife to put on a slip nightie, she says I am "tiko" to suggest that. When I said what is the problem with wearing that as many wives are doing it, her answer is only sluts will do such things. :confused:

Thank god Janet came into my life and change all that (I guess you know what I mean).

Blackheart

[Frankiestine]

Dear Bro Frankiestine,

If you think that is bad enough, I was in a even worse situation. When I suggested my wife to put on a slip nightie, she says I am "tiko" to suggest that. When I said what is the problem with wearing that as many wives are doing it, her answer is only sluts will do such things. :confused:

Thank god Janet came into my life and change all that (I guess you know what I mean).

Blackheart
Bro Blackheart, envy you for your sexploits with Janet, I too had a sexploit once with a married lady but that was history as we sort of cool things off for too long...but i guess there are advantages with married woman, they like us do not want to rock the boat and maintain status quo....once i had an affair too with a single gal, i thought my dream came true...hell..once it became a reality it was a nightmare...that why now i dare not ventured beyond FLs and WLs...don't want my nightmare to become a sequence movie like Nightmare on Elm Street..

[Frankiestine]

Tks bro asjer for his part in helping to explain the "phenomenon" of low sex drive in woman...

But I guess we as men have our own rationale to it...(I am not rebutting bro asjer findings just posing to any married woman)..


1) work - too tired and damn stressed out to even get horny - Then wat abt us we too are stressed but how come we can find the energy to be horny.
2) kids - priority always the kids 1st, parents 2nd then the hubby. - Then can they blame us if we put them last also.
3) chores - having to do the chores like cooking, cleaning or making sure the maid done the cooking and cleaning - I think most working mums don't do these chores. In most cases full time housewife are the one that are complaining a lack of sex from their hubby but yet they are doing these chores everyday.
4) disappointment - women dream of a princess life after marriage and when they dun get it, they stop supplying. - So when we don't get it too don't you think we feel disappointed.
5) hunk - most of us here tend to get out of shape with age especially the mid region, beer belly. - Hmm this seems to go both ways..
6) cheating - some wives are actually cheating- So can they blame us if we cheat too??
7) mood - husband ain't as romantic as before marriage - Takes two hands to clap.
8) explanation - the fear of waking the kids or having the kids walk-in and having to explain the act - Have they heard of locking the door.
9) bored - eating the same dish one too many times - So how can they blame us if we are also bored eating the same dish..
10) lack of feeling - after years of marriage, the feeling towards the husband somehow diminishes - So why is it only the husbands have to take the rap for this?

[Castrol]

4) disappointment - women dream of a princess life after marriage and when they dun get it, they stop supplying.


yeah right, most of us also thought we married a princess. luckily we are able to handle the truth later on... :(

[condor]

bro sad to hear your situation.
i encounter it, trust me you are not alone.
deep inside me i feel sense of frustration. how balance it between loyalty anf fulfilling your needs. some say sex isnt all of marriage, but its part of it right? if we part of it, we lose part of our marriage. wasnt it stupid for us to look for pro when we have our wife? wasnt us right to be loyal to our wife and yet our wifer choose to ignore our needs and prefer theirs.
Bro Gent, not meant to sent a discourage message to you about marriage but rather, up to you. i have given up discussing about it to my wife. i love her but dont wana upset her or force her. moreover i had agood kid now.
vent your frustration on someone. it may sound disloyal but who can blame you under such circumstances. for those high sexual desire men, make sure go through high reliability test with your gf or wife to be before marriage to avoid such issue from happening .

[condor]

ajer,

do agree, we do have the right to suspect wife that choose not to have sex is actually having an affair. that is usually what wife use it as a guage to suspect husband having affair.

[Frankiestine]

make sure go through high reliability test with your gf or wife to be before marriage to avoid such issue from happening .
alamak bro reliability test?? how to test? buay zhun one...my rsm before marriage minimum 3 times a week sometimes she hiam not enough...now..if lucky do once every full moon...:(

[ricardo]

reporting to all bro here. me finally get to make out with missus last night 1.5 months after the birth of my 3rd kid. Missus still ask tonight on or not ... yeah ... so happy

[condor]

aiya frankenstein,

reliability only use as a guage mah. if before marriage already cannot high reliability test, after marriage will be worse correct?
my opinion to all bros whose wife yet to give birth, dont go for natural birth, it tense to scare the woman which will leads to fear into sex.

many of my friends also notice it.

[Frankiestine]

my opinion to all bros whose wife yet to give birth, dont go for natural birth, it tense to scare the woman which will leads to fear into sex.

many of my friends also notice it.
On the contrary i dun my rsm is scare of child birth cos the only time she think of having sex is when her maternal instinct comes calling...knn told her off...u think i baby making machine ah? only want to have sex when want to have babies...

[Hanxinco88]

Bro, what happens if the scenerio is being reverse as such that a man loves his wifes very much but just wouldn't want to have sex with her?? What could be done???

Cheers

[analog539]

aiya frankenstein,

reliability only use as a guage mah. if before marriage already cannot high reliability test, after marriage will be worse correct?
my opinion to all bros whose wife yet to give birth, dont go for natural birth, it tense to scare the woman which will leads to fear into sex.

many of my friends also notice it.

I'm going to say this only once IDIOTS!
Elective Csection has TWICE the maternal mortality of natural childbirth.

One more time for the illeterate amoungst you:
Elective Csection has 100% higher maternal mortality than natural child birth.

Data derived from "Why Mother's Die" NHS report to the minister, 1997 UK.

No matter HOW blue your balls are ladies you DO NOT submit your wife to unneccessary sugery. The butchers will kill her.

5 million years of evolution can't be wrong.

:)
Jim

[condor]

take it easy bro.
why need to pass sarcastic remarks.

we are here to share opinions. if mine opinion are wrong, just share your opinion to us. i willing to listen. just be polite next time ok bro.
i owe you nothing.

[analog539]

take it easy bro.
why need to pass sarcastic remarks.

we are here to share opinions. if mine opinion are wrong, just share your opinion to us. i willing to listen. just be polite next time ok bro.
i owe you nothing.
Sorry for jumping you bro.....
But everybody thinks C sections are so safe, all the Dr.s lie about them as do the hospitals because they all make more money from Csections than from natural childbirth....and the woman takes ALL the risk.

Getting our sex lives sorted out is neccessary but exposing your wife to danger....

Anyhow, carry on.
:)
Jim

[sugardad]

I am actually wondering that some gals and guys here were saying, marriage is not about sex and wife is not the husband's sex slave ( so to speak ).......

SO, if the wife is sexually very active and the husband has a dead dick, what will happen next?

Without sex, how long can this marriage last ???

Please think about it, don't have to give your answer here but be frank about it.

Look at us as we are trying very hard to hold on to the marriage, not that we are trying to find excuse about the "side-effect" .... maybe some of us had accepted this fate and some are not, for what ever it is , none of us here are using sexless marriage as an excuse in the divorce paper instead hoping to understand more about our beloved wifes, re-instill our belief and hang-on tighter to this very difficult sexless-marriage.

[condor]

analog 539 thanks for advice really appreciate your opinion on C section.
well, indeed most doc. claim how safe it is and on the contrary many ppl alos mention about the long term side effects on the ladies especially for the epidural(spelling mistake maybe).
well, i had friends whose wife simply scare of pain and opted for C section.
while others are brave enough to natural birth.
different ladies will have different reaction towards sexlife whether it is C section or natural. cant say C section will be better or vice versa.
if wife dont like sex after birth, what can we do?
do what we can to maintain marriage and satisfy our neeeds.
masterbedtion is one way though
:)

[rams]

okay, I've gone through at least 11 pages of postings mostly from men complaining abt not having enough sex in their marriage. Let me contribute from a married woman's point of view.
I feel that sex is an integral part in a marriage, I grew up in a somewhat average conservative Singapore family but it didn't turn out that I'm as conservative instead I am also trying to survive in a sexless marriage.
Me and my hubby has been married for 3 yrs, all these years, sex was initiated by me except the very FIRST time.
For those times that I initiate, you would be surprised to know that I can get rejected outrightly saying he is not in the mood. He will give excuses like he is too tired but never tired for TV. Even when I tried giving him a bj in his sleep, he would wake up and give me a good thrashing. There were times I got so disappointed and rejected that I cried myself to sleep.
Tried to talk to him about it but situation never improve. I bought lots of sexy lingeries, it didn't help. I bought adult board games but we've only tried it once. When I tried to arouse him by licking his neck and ears, he would complain its ticklish. I even tried sending him provocative sms suggesting sex but all his response would be, "Crazy ah you?" ???

I got pregnant last yr and due to hormonal changes, I was even more horny than before but he didnt wan sex saying he might hurt the baby but finally agreed when I assured him we won't. Then after I delivered, he didn't touch me for 3 mths until I initiated and then he doesn't want to touch my boobs cos he's afraid that my breast milk will leak.
Tell me how much worse can things get.

All my ex-es have proclaimed me as the sex queen and they can never have enough of me, I can't understand my hubby's behaviour and fact is he didn't think he is abnormal.
I resorted to DIY to relieve myself but its not what i want, I need love and affection and to feel attractive. Fact is I've never felt desired by him.
We have sex now like once a week, I would like to have it 2-3 times a week but its not possible. Each time, he doesn't bother with foreplay and only wants to get his thingie into me.
Sometimes I wonder to myself if I'm normal... Comments please?

[thamkngw]

sister, you sure or not?

maybe you need to get him to see therapist or TCM, maybe his hormones level not high enuff.

you could try some of the methods guys use to delay the ejaculation, or try various position like gal on top?

[rams]

bro, I cannot be anymore sure.

But interesting thing is he surfs porn and sometimes he DIY without me knowing but I'd always find out.

Talking about gal on top, thats his fav position cos the reason is so that he don't have to move an inch while I'm doing all the works.. :(

Freaking depressing..:confused:

sister, you sure or not?
gal on top?

[smartalex]

Hi Rams,

The sex-drive for both me and my wife are slightly similar. There are times I want it but she doesn't, and vice versa too. What I do when my wife wants it but I don't is that I ram her doggie style, which is rather painful for her due to the length of my prick. This makes her lose interest in sex and she stops disturbing me :o

When I want to fuck and my wife doesn't, I watch porn and DIY, and she is quite happy with that.

[Frankiestine]

Me and my hubby has been married for 3 yrs, all these years, sex was initiated by me except the very FIRST time.

Lady your husband obviously not from Mars....no offence meant but if my wife is willing to offer me half of what you did for your hubby, boy i will probably go to bed with a smirk on my face...

[Lioncity]

Is CNY and still no sex in sight, sigh but thank goodness there is sammyboy. To all bros having sexless marriage, thanks for sharing, at least i know is normal. To the ladies, thanks for reminding us that there is another side to a coin.
Maybe we should exchange and all will be happy, kekeke. I have my share of sexlessness but i count my blessing that i have met some ladies who were willing to share a bit of their desire.

So humble opinion is do something about it, if u give up arousing ur wife, sammyboy have a lot of FL, WL, ons etc for both the guys and gals. To each their own, i don't think complaining help but if u accept it and find your alternative, the marriage may last longer and more meaningful sharing soul mate then sex mate. Don't get me wrong to suggest no sex, god forbide, is too good to skip it but if your partnet is not into it then find some other who are. Oh u have to work on it for great sex otherwise payment is acceptable for quick fix. Hope everyone have a fucking good year doing doggy, i know i will regardless of wify lack of desire.

HAPPY NEW YEAR

[nivlac]

man with serious problem

[rams]

Can you explain whats the point you're trying to put across?


What I do when my wife wants it but I don't is that I ram her doggie style, which is rather painful for her due to the length of my prick. This makes her lose interest in sex and she stops disturbing me :o
When I want to fuck and my wife doesn't, I watch porn and DIY, and she is quite happy with that.

[rams]

haha, that is what I thought all men would loved of their wife to do but strangely and sadly, this is not the case for my man.
I thought of leaving him but now for the sake of the little one I had to stay but I really don't wish for my life to persist this way.. its kind of unbearable
Matter of fact is, I'm not ugly looking, I'm not that fat, I just can't understand why I don't I appeal to him..

i will probably go to bed with a smirk on my face...

[Frankiestine]

haha, that is what I thought all men would loved of their wife to do but strangely and sadly, this is not the case for my man.
I thought of leaving him but now for the sake of the little one I had to stay but I really don't wish for my life to persist this way.. its kind of unbearable
Matter of fact is, I'm not ugly looking, I'm not that fat, I just can't understand why I don't I appeal to him..
well i guess for every married man in a sexless marriage, I would imagine a equal number of married woman are in this state...don't mind me asking ram but are you a stay home "wong liang po"... becos most of the woman who complains of a sexless marriage are normally the typical housewife and most of the guys who complains of this have a career woman as a wife..

btw on the boobs part about milking, i absolutely love it, fought with my kid to suckle on my wife breast..:D

[KingEros]

But interesting thing is he surfs porn and sometimes he DIY without me knowing but I'd always find out.

Talking about gal on top, thats his fav position cos the reason is so that he don't have to move an inch while I'm doing all the works...
IMHO, he's lost interest of you ... as a sex object, that's all.

... but he didnt wan sex saying he might hurt the baby but finally agreed when I assured him we won't. Then after I delivered, he didn't touch me for 3 mths until I initiated and then he doesn't want to touch my boobs cos he's afraid that my breast milk will leak.
More convinced that he gave in to you after he realises that you didn't belong to that ignorant group who believed the baby would get hurt by an inserted bonking prick. Doesn't he know that it's the hubby's duty to relieve the pressure in those beautiful boobs, as well as to ensure the lactating process gets stimulated enough to go on & on & on?? Sheesh, no wonder I had to work overtime ... outside my jobscope of a part-time lover.

Matter of fact is, I'm not ugly looking, I'm not that fat, I just can't understand why I don't I appeal to him.
This is all very relative ... I, for one, like my bonks to be meaty with more than a handful of tits ... but perhaps, your hubby gets his thrill from the pelvic blue-black he gets from his bonks. :D

I thought of leaving him but now for the sake of the little one I had to stay but I really don't wish for my life to persist this way.. its kind of unbearable
Well, whether it's for the little one or for the comfort that your hubby provides ... most women will not think twice about staying in their marriage but getting their physical & emotional feed on the side - personally, I already know there're 3 samstresses in this category.
I'm sure there're more than a few samsters who've dropped you PMs volunteering their services ... but bear in mind, discretion must be of highest priority when you choose to take this path.


This makes her lose interest in sex and she stops disturbing me
When I want to fuck and my wife doesn't, I watch porn and DIY, and she is quite happy with that.
Can you explain whats the point you're trying to put across?
Well, the only thing I could see standing out glaringly from his crap is ... the fact that this loser is really just SMART ALEX.

[KingEros]

btw on the boobs part about milking, i absolutely love it, fought with my kid to suckle on my wife breast.
Yeah ... I absolutely love it too - especially when this is like a rare treat for me. I mean, what are the chances of bonking somebody else's women who qualified as MILFs & are lactating?? :D :D

[jag_71]

Rams,

if you are as good looking as we all think that you are then your husband is either :

-GAY
-Fucking someone else on the side
-A big mummy's boy
-Wants a divorce for whatever reason

I'm totally amazed that he would not be ramming you everyday.... I know I would be keeping you busy if you were my wife...... anyway....

GENERAL COMMENT TO ALL SEXLESS MARRIED PPL HERE : Have you talked to your partner, and, actually asked them the question "Why don't you like sex ?"

Simply running into the arms of a 3rd party is not going to fix much more than your short term needs...... it's about talking..... it may be hard to discuss, but in the long run it is going to affect the health of your marriage, and YOU......


Lucky for me in some ways, my wife when she's in the mood, is a horny slut....... but it can be 1-2 weeks everytime she gets that way... but she makes the wait worth while !!!

Everyone is different, so you need to learn what gets your partner IN THE MOOD..... or what is the reason they are turned OFF, then you can hopefully do something about it.....

Cheers

JAG_71

[rams]

are you a stay home "wong liang po"...
Well, as a matter of fact, I'm a career woman who dressed up nicely for work and brings home the larger share of the dough. So that rules me out of the Huang Lian Po category..

btw on the boobs part about milking, i absolutely love it, fought with my kid to suckle on my wife breast..:D

I actually have to contemplate on stopping breastfeeding my baby for this reason.. and as a matter of factly I've stop but the sex didn't come with it..
:(

[rams]

[QUOTE=KingEros]IMHO, he's lost interest of you ... as a sex object, that's all.

He was never interested in me in the first place, which I've been cracking my head trying to think of how to turn him on but it all didn't seem to work. He would rather spend time with friends, his fishes and everything else but me.

more than a few samsters who've dropped you PMs volunteering their services ...

To get sex from another party? This has crossed my mind but its not the route I would choose, what I'm yearning for is the affection and love. Infidelity is not in my dictionary.

[rams]

Rams,

GENERAL COMMENT TO ALL SEXLESS MARRIED PPL HERE : Have you talked to your partner, and, actually asked them the question "Why don't you like sex ?"



Oh, we've spoke umpteenth time over this issue, he recognises it as an issue but he choses to not do anything about it. The various reason he has given includes the following:

1. He is tired
2. He has no money
3. He used to be an alcoholic and that could have had a adverse effect on his libido
4. Sex is not his priority, he would rather go partying with friends, look after his fishes, etc

I did suspect he was bonking someone else on the side and I did find out he was exceptionally close to some girls but he claimed that it wasn't for sex. What I dun understand is what is it about me that doesn't call for his desire..

So can I conclude that he is not normal?

[Squall]

Oh, we've spoke umpteenth time over this issue, he recognises it as an issue but he choses to not do anything about it. The various reason he has given includes the following:

1. He is tired
2. He has no money
3. He used to be an alcoholic and that could have had a adverse effect on his libido
4. Sex is not his priority, he would rather go partying with friends, look after his fishes, etc

I did suspect he was bonking someone else on the side and I did find out he was exceptionally close to some girls but he claimed that it wasn't for sex. What I dun understand is what is it about me that doesn't call for his desire..

So can I conclude that he is not normal?

Hi Rams, I read thru your thread, & thought 2 myself that u having sex once a week with ur hubby isn't too bad. Quite a few bros here I think do it with their wives less frequently than that. There r lots of reasons why he might b behaving the way he is, & u have spent some time 2 analyse quite well. However, the root of the issue I surmise is not the frequency of sex, but that in general, u feel undesired.

The key question is: Do u think he still luvs u? Outside of sex, do he treat u well? U know, remember birthdays, anniversaries, surprise u with hugs, worries about your health & well-being etc? If not, why? Cos of the reasons u stated above, or something else?

The answer I think may b found in that.

[jag_71]

Oh, we've spoke umpteenth time over this issue, he recognises it as an issue but he choses to not do anything about it. The various reason he has given includes the following:

1. He is tired
2. He has no money
3. He used to be an alcoholic and that could have had a adverse effect on his libido
4. Sex is not his priority, he would rather go partying with friends, look after his fishes, etc

I did suspect he was bonking someone else on the side and I did find out he was exceptionally close to some girls but he claimed that it wasn't for sex. What I dun understand is what is it about me that doesn't call for his desire..

So can I conclude that he is not normal?


RAMS,

My heart goes out for you.... this is going to hurt, but I have to say this....

HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU........(anymore?)

This guy is not normal....

1. He is tired - bullshit.... no matter how tired I am, if wife want sex, I would happily provide....
2. He has no money - um, so ??? need to pay for sex is it ??? u his wife lah....
3. He used to be an alcoholic and that could have had a adverse effect on his libido - BULLSHIT......
4. Sex is not his priority, he would rather go partying with friends, look after his fishes, etc - So it means he dun care about what matters to you......

With this attitude..... leave him, and find someone who appreciates you.....


Sorry, to be blunt, but sheesh this guy is way unusual......

[TTI-INT]

A man walks into the drug store and asks for a packet of Viagra. the propietor says they cannot sell Viagra without a referal from his doctor...

SO the man says, "listen I dont have a referal but will a photo of my wife do"

[TTI-INT]

My first marrige broke down because I no longer had sex with my wife. She was beautiful and loved sex and passion and love.

We would make love often. Often she would wear lingere and coax me into bed even if i was not in the mood.

But then one day I went out with my friends and slept with another woman. Although I loved my wife I had cheated and started to see the other woman all the time even though she was not as beautiful and sexy as my wife.

At the same time the guilt i felt meant that i could not have sex with my wife. I just could not get hard with her.

Eventually she left me for another. But i do not resent her for this.

My advise to you is to leave him. If he is not seeing someone else he will eventually.

[thamkngw]

2. He has no money

for guys, this could be a big zapper that you earn more than him,especially as a man grows older, he becomes more conscious of his social status.

This is my opinion, i feel that guys who suddenly feels like rearing fish either has too much money and time and likes some peace and quiet, or has too much pent up feelings.

[KingEros]

[QUOTE=KingEros]IMHO, he's lost interest of you ... as a sex object, that's all.
He was never interested in me in the first place.
Are you suggesting that this was the case already ... before you even married him?? Then, may I humbly ask why you chose him ... over the many who sang praises of you in the past??

He would rather spend time with friends, his fishes & everything else but me.
Like I said, he's definitely lost interest in you ... probably only looked upon you as a baby-making machine, which has now even lost that market value following your delivery of the only child that he wanted??

To get sex from another party? This has crossed my mind but its not the route I would choose, what I'm yearning for is the affection and love. Infidelity is not in my dictionary.
If it has crossed your mind, then how can INFIDELITY not be found in your dictionary?? :D
But I'm a very liberal philosophist ... as long as you ensure noone gets hurt, anything is fine in my books. In your case, I can only suggest a couple of routes you could choose:
1) tell him in no uncertain terms your frustrations ... perhaps even setting him an ultimatum (eg divorce)
2) take care of your own frustrations ... with one or two TRUSTED part-time lovers (trusted means they also want nothing more than the physical/emotional presence)
BTW, what you yearn for (affection & love), they do not exist in flings but can be found in a trusted carnal relationship ... TRUST me. ;)

[KingEros]

1. He is tired - bullshit.... no matter how tired I am, if wife want sex, I would happily provide....
2. He has no money - um, so ??? need to pay for sex is it ??? u his wife lah....
3. He used to be an alcoholic and that could have had a adverse effect on his libido - BULLSHIT......
4. Sex is not his priority, he would rather go partying with friends, look after his fishes, etc - So it means he dun care about what matters to you......

Agree with you totally ... less:
1. He is tired - this can be true, IF he was bonking someone else on the side

Dun bother about pouring out the blunt truth ... rather the short pain now than the more enduring one which could last forever!!! :D

[Castrol]

1. He is tired
2. He has no money
3. He used to be an alcoholic and that could have had a adverse effect on his libido
4. Sex is not his priority, he would rather go partying with friends, look after his fishes, etc

?

good grief... i used to be like this when in my 20s, all the 4 points except i had dogs instead of fishes. most of my ex girlfriends couldnt last 6 months with me, but the lack of sex wasnt the issue then. their parting last words for me were usually "you only want to fuck!" :D

[hohoho613]

Hi sista Rams,
Sorry to hear ur sorrow, but i must say is tat he is having side dishes.
wat ever excuses he gave is lame.
Take care and wish u well :D

[japboy]

Oh, we've spoke umpteenth time over this issue, he recognises it as an issue but he choses to not do anything about it.

if he recognise d problem but refuse to do anything, ur r/s is getting stagnant... be prepared.

i dun do fishes.:D

[wow69]

Dear plain,

I think u are right as in we need to be more patient(with our wives) and hopefully our sexlife will return to normal "gradually". Yes, I strongly agree with u that women need attentions and by "wooing" them again(like during courtship) will most probably grind out some "sparks". But remember this, once there is a kid, our wives will focus 100% or even more on the kid. We can make plenty of arrangement(Overseas trip, valentines day celebration, Anniver day, birthdays etc). The first question our wives will ask is "how abt our kid?". The truth is they will want to bring along the kid if going overseas, for dinner on our birthdays etc etc...

I am sorry if I offended any women with my comments... All these is purely my frustration and in fact after I "off-loaded" all my frustration here, I feel much better.Frankly speaking, its normal for the woman to feel tat way coz yr baby was part of her for a whole 9 mths. Tat kind of strong attachments towards the kid is natural.

Anyway, a relationship is like a roller-coaster ride, sometimes its up and sometimes its down. Question is, did u put in some effort to create some tiny sparks in the relationship. Other than having sex in mind, did u perform yr role as a husband and father at the same time? Everything you do is being weigh by an invisible scale . Have you ever stand in yr wife shoes and start wondering why she doesnt want to hv sex, could it due to her being tired after taking care of yr kid? Maybe if you lightens her load, she will have more energy to have fun with you in bed. I believed if she feels tat you love her a lot, she will start to reciprocate too.

All the best pal! I was in yr shoe not too long ago but now things have started to improve after I put in some effort in reducing her load and stress. :)

[rileyhale]

Finally found a thread that I can identify with. (posted wrongly at another thread) Personally, I am very encouraged by the positive and affirming comments the brothers make to help provide advice. Here's my story -

I remained a virgin till very late in life, in fact, until I got married. (Go ahead, laugh all you want, but it is more common than you think. Not everyone has a chance to find a GF, let alone a GF that allows you to bonk her, ok?)

Now, even with a wife, I only get to bonk once every few months. I counted, in the whole of 2005, I bonked my wife a total of 4 times only. Most of the time, she is too tired to be interested. I tried all ways from the many articles I read like improving our communication, setting the mood, being patient, be concerned about her needs etc. - all with limited success. I guess she isn't very interested in sex. Other than the lack of sex, other parts of our marriage are fine.

At first, I thought it was normal - from zero bonk before marriage to four bonks a year, that's quite a big jump, I thought. Lucky me.

Also since we are not exactly young, I have already accepted that we won't be bonking like rabbits every night, unlike those twentysomethings. I love my wife, so I of course cannot insist on my needs only, right?

Then I accidentally stumbled onto this Sammyboy forum late last year.

That's when I started to feel something's not quite right. Now, whenever I feel horny, I feel I've got no where to release, except to go back to PCC (like single days.)

Yah, I know, why don't just go to GL and bonk, right? But I just can't bring myself to do it. I feel too guilty to cheat on her. Furthest I have gone is HJ in TN or HC, even then, with remorse and guilt.

Here is my opinion ...

- If you get to bonk more than once a month, your're already ahead of many people in Singapore. Enjoy it every chance you've got.

- If you get to bonk more than once a week, consider yourself very lucky. Treasure it!

- If you have a GF or OC who is horny and willing to accede to your request for sex whenever you ask for it, man, you are already in Nirvana on earth, as far as sex in concerned.

Some of you brothers here in this forum really have it good. You have GFs and/or wives who allow you to bonk 2 times a week or even 2 times a day! How did you guys ever get so lucky? You guys must have been blessed with good looks and have a way with women... Sigh ...

The next time you get to bonk, spare a thought for us who nightly go to bed without any action, feeling frustrated and depressed and worse, feeling guilty for feeling this way.

[analog539]

okay, I've gone through at least 11 pages of postings mostly from men complaining abt not having enough sex in their marriage. Let me contribute from a married woman's point of view.
I feel that sex is an integral part in a marriage, I grew up in a somewhat average conservative Singapore family but it didn't turn out that I'm as conservative instead I am also trying to survive in a sexless marriage.
Me and my hubby has been married for 3 yrs, all these years, sex was initiated by me except the very FIRST time.
For those times that I initiate, you would be surprised to know that I can get rejected outrightly saying he is not in the mood. He will give excuses like he is too tired but never tired for TV. Even when I tried giving him a bj in his sleep, he would wake up and give me a good thrashing. There were times I got so disappointed and rejected that I cried myself to sleep.
Tried to talk to him about it but situation never improve. I bought lots of sexy lingeries, it didn't help. I bought adult board games but we've only tried it once. When I tried to arouse him by licking his neck and ears, he would complain its ticklish. I even tried sending him provocative sms suggesting sex but all his response would be, "Crazy ah you?" ???

I got pregnant last yr and due to hormonal changes, I was even more horny than before but he didnt wan sex saying he might hurt the baby but finally agreed when I assured him we won't. Then after I delivered, he didn't touch me for 3 mths until I initiated and then he doesn't want to touch my boobs cos he's afraid that my breast milk will leak.
Tell me how much worse can things get.

All my ex-es have proclaimed me as the sex queen and they can never have enough of me, I can't understand my hubby's behaviour and fact is he didn't think he is abnormal.
I resorted to DIY to relieve myself but its not what i want, I need love and affection and to feel attractive. Fact is I've never felt desired by him.
We have sex now like once a week, I would like to have it 2-3 times a week but its not possible. Each time, he doesn't bother with foreplay and only wants to get his thingie into me.
Sometimes I wonder to myself if I'm normal... Comments please?

The question is.....what was your relationship like BEFORE you got married?

My situation was that my wife was almost a nympho before and after we were married. Everything slowed down completely after the children.

Now, in your case, did you always initiate sex before you were married? Or did this just start after?

:)
Jim

[Frankiestine]

double post refer below thread...dui bu chi...minta maaf...thousand apologies..

[Frankiestine]

Well, as a matter of fact, I'm a career woman who dressed up nicely for work and brings home the larger share of the dough. So that rules me out of the Huang Lian Po category..
What a reversal or roles, most of the times it is the career woman that generally comes up with the excuses such as work and stress for not having sex..

I actually have to contemplate on stopping breastfeeding my baby for this reason.. and as a matter of factly I've stop but the sex didn't come with it..
:(
Wat up with your man, I found my wife looks so much more attractive especially when her breasts were all swell up with milk..

[analog539]

What a reversal or roles, most of the times it is the career woman that generally comes up with the excuses such as work and stress for not having sex..


Wat up with your man, I found my wife looks so much more attractive especially when her breasts were all swell up with milk..
Same here man....
My wife looks HOT with her boobs all swollen....
problem is, her sex drive is not there....:(

[wow69]

Oh, we've spoke umpteenth time over this issue, he recognises it as an issue but he choses to not do anything about it. The various reason he has given includes the following:

1. He is tired
2. He has no money
3. He used to be an alcoholic and that could have had a adverse effect on his libido
4. Sex is not his priority, he would rather go partying with friends, look after his fishes, etc

I did suspect he was bonking someone else on the side and I did find out he was exceptionally close to some girls but he claimed that it wasn't for sex. What I dun understand is what is it about me that doesn't call for his desire..

So can I conclude that he is not normal?Maybe its like wat ppl always said, "You dun realise a treasure beside you until you lose it one day". Frankly speaking, if you are my wife, every nite will be sextisfying :p

But nothing is perfect in tis world, you have some you lose some. You deserve my utmost respect to stay faithful to yr hubby, not like many of us (including me of coz) :o

[wow69]

Wat up with your man, I found my wife looks so much more attractive especially when her breasts were all swell up with milk..I shared the same sentiment too. Only thing is tat after pregnancy her breasts sorta became less firm than b4.

[Lioncity]

I'm really looking forward to reading this thread especially to read what RAM have to say. Not usually to hear the ladies have their words.

Still I don't understand why as a lady, u have all the opportunity in the world to have good sex with so many men out there yet you choose to do nothing about it. Staying loyal to your man is great but you are not even sure if he is faithful, so why bother. My wife is also great looking, great career although she dun earn as much as me. We only bonk maybe once a month and getting worse cos I also not so interested to bonk her this day but we are happy together. Maybe it has nothing to do with sex, i think sex is just our need like a drug and men need them more than woman. There is a quick fix for the guy, I am not sure if the gal is the same, i have my doubt how quick the ladies want it. Is must be about love and doing it because their is feeling in it. Guess we will have to hear it from the ladies, your comment if you don't mind continuing with the discussion.

Lion (can roar this day)

[fuckings]

can anyone accept gf who do not let u touch her or hug her after one year of going steady? sex of course is out of question. And your gf or future wife who dont want to have children. would u continue to go steady with her?

[wayfarer]

wows didn't know got so many samsters with marriage n sex problems. but I don't find getting sex from wifey once a week or once every 2 weeks a prob. mebbe cos I also had it from FLs and irc gers? I mean it can be draining on the body besides the wallet.

hope it's not taken as frivolous or I laughing at u guys but I don't get how u all can get to the stage where yr wifey can say NO sex. but then again, I got this GF who cos she scared of getting preg again, only let her hubby had sex 2-3 months. and thing is she is good at sex...uhmm I know ok :p - ok I not bragging but she really did that to her hubby. so it really does exist this problem.

as for Frankiestein prob with his RSM - only had sex when she want babies....well not the first time I heard of it. the prob might be the getting preg thing again - only she is ready for it.

[c_s_c_s]

can anyone accept gf who do not let u touch her or hug her after one year of going steady? sex of course is out of question. And your gf or future wife who dont want to have children. would u continue to go steady with her?

I won't accept. Same thing happend to new some years ago. I was stupid and simply accepted the fact. That gal had an abortion before and had major emotional issues. After some time, I just got bloody tired of the attitude and moved on. Relationship without physical intimacy is bull shit--IMHO. If a girl really cares about you, she'll consider your needs and try to satisfy you. If she simply is not keen then she's selfish and worst of all, possibly satisfying her needs somewhere else--which I certainly hope is not the case.

[stray]

There are definitely reasons why a normal wouldn't bonk the wife
unless she is ugly....too fat...etc

For example
1. She is too capable both in and out of the house, friends and relative are always singing apraise about her which makes him feel inferior.
He find himself so useless infront of her.

2. Some guy doesnt like lady to take initaitive

3. He feel he is not good enough as a sex partner

4. Maybe he is really not interested in ladies ( Homo ? ) there are homo who get married just as a cover.

There are alot of others reason too...
Was he the same before marriage on sex ?

Regards

[tommyboy290906]

Hello Bros...
I've my own fair share of Sexual problems with my wife previously and I've not given up hope on her and her sexual needs are getting better from once a month to weekly. I've put her on herbal enhancement for Estrogen replacement to get her excited again. I guess alot of singapore women are having sexual problems and they are not inclined to seek medical or consultation. I've come across this term in the web: (Diagnosis and Treatment of Atrophic Vaginitis) Quote: Because of declining estrogen levels, women who are in mid-life or beyond often present with symptoms of atrophic vaginitis.

[rams]

Hi Rams, I read thru your thread, & thought 2 myself that u having sex once a week with ur hubby isn't too bad. However, the root of the issue I surmise is not the frequency of sex, but that in general, u feel undesired.

Exactly, once a week is not THAT bad but if I have to initiate it everytime, then its bad.


The key question is: Do u think he still luvs u? Outside of sex, do he treat u well? The answer I think may b found in that.

Come to think of it, outside of sex, he doesn't treat me exceptionally well at all. He has this temper over the slightest thing that is enough to make one innocent comment seemed like the most humiliating insult in this world. Bottomline is, he doesn't respect me and when he gets angry, he starts pouring vulgarities on me. But at times, he can be quite nice when he is not angry.

[rams]

With regards to whether he still loves me.. I think he didn't love me a lot right from the start..

Before we got married, we already have this problem but thinking that it might be temporary cos his business wasn't doing so well at that time, but its been three yrs and there's still no change..

[rams]

My first marrige broke down because I no longer had sex with my wife.

I'm already suspecting for having another but its just that I've got no concrete proof yet. He was rather close to some of his female friends.


My advise to you is to leave him. If he is not seeing someone else he will eventually.

To leave him takes a lot of courage and I hate to have my son go through this. I can't imagine him calling another dad.

[rams]

In your case, I can only suggest a couple of routes you could choose:
1) tell him in no uncertain terms your frustrations ... perhaps even setting him an ultimatum (eg divorce)

I think he would happily agree to the divorce which he has been mentioning each time we get into a argument.


[COLOR="royalblue"]
2) take care of your own frustrations ... with one or two TRUSTED part-time lovers (trusted means they also want nothing more than the physical/emotional presence)


I can't bring myself to have sex with another. I dun wan to be labelled as a slut who sleeps around.
Its so easy for you men to just go for another but its always a different case for the woman, I would die of guilt.

[rams]

Still I don't understand why as a lady, u have all the opportunity in the world to have good sex with so many men out there yet you choose to do nothing about it.

I would die of guilt like I mentioned before and also what we are looking for is the love and affection, not the act of sex or the big O. I do have an ex-bf on the side now waiting for me to give the green light to have a unattached sexual relationship but I just can't.
Yes, I believed a couple can be happy if there is love with no sex but to me, I feel that his selfish nature just shows that he doesn't love me.. so maybe i should change the topic to loveless marriage.
Maybe lets put it this way, can a couple have lotsa sex and not love each other?
any comments?

[rams]

Was he the same before marriage on sex ?

That, I'll have to ask his ex-gfs.. haha

[sundial]

can he be homosexual?

[rams]

can he be homosexual?

Unlikely, if thats the case, he won't be surfing porns of milf!!

[Frankiestine]

Yes, I believed a couple can be happy if there is love with no sex but to me, I feel that his selfish nature just shows that he doesn't love me.. so maybe i should change the topic to loveless marriage.
I think for a guy it is simply hogwash...a man can bring himself to have sex with a woman he does not love but it is more difficult for a woman, (dun compare with FL and WL) to have sex with another man if there is no love in it...

Yes my rsm admitted to me, she cannot bring herself to have sex with me cos she feels there is a barrier between us and we don't seem to understand each other anymore...on the other hand my rsm discomfort with my efforts to sex her up serves to only alienate me further from her..cos if she cannot even feel comfortable with me in bed, how can i feel close to this woman in our every day life...:(

[Getz]

Any married man here experience this??

I am currently in such a situation... after my first kid, my spouse totally avoid having sex with me. She is giving 100% to the kid now. It seems to her that sex = baby! If no plan to have baby, then no need sex! Ridiculous right!!:mad:

Had been trying hard to convince her(that sex is part of marriage) and even prepared to go to visit experts on this but she refuse to go. Claiming that sex is the least priority in her life... I am very annoyed and depressed by all these comments.

Those who encounter and overcome this before, please enlighten me...

Bro,

do not worry la. I'm 1 like you also but after 2 -3 months your wife will come back to you 1 la. Must give her some time to recover mah....:)

[condor]

please dont encourage someone else to leave their husband. you will be consider a bitch if you do have sex with another men before divorce. Rams, if you need more sex than what your husband can give you, please do what pleases you. to be label as bitch or dignified loyal wife.

for those samster that are patient with your wife even though they dont wana to have sex with you. good on ya. im not that patient. we are still young, energetic. i dont have to live a sexless life and yet try to console myself to be happy and when i am old and looking back, leave a whole lorry of regret and ponder whether you can still bonk or not.

if your wifer care about you, why not take care of your physical needs? contrary your wife would challenge are you after her for sex if she dont like sex. so where the ending point. for ppl like us married, do what you want. am not going to encourage who to do what. do what you want to be happy. one reminder, dont leave a container full of regret when you are old. we jus live once.

[stray]

Unlikely, if thats the case, he won't be surfing porns of milf!!

Maybe he prefer more mature lady...."milf"

[Lioncity]

Rams says "I would die of guilt....... can a couple have lotsa sex and not love each other? "


Is a big YES for me, I have lots of sex with gal and we didn't love each other. We just enjoy sex for the fun of it but sad to say they are not easy to find.

Like yourself, you enjoy sex but you don't want to do with other guy cos u will die of guilt. So is not the sex you have a problem with, is the love you crave in a loveless marriage. Then the arguement would be why do woman with high sex drive like yourself not go get sex like the man? Because they will die of guilt!!! So they rather die then have their sexual fulfillment. Hmmm wat logic is that, maybe can turn it to become a research topic and write a thesis for a doctorate degree.

[rams]

Then the arguement would be why do woman with high sex drive like yourself not go get sex like the man? Because they will die of guilt!!! So they rather die then have their sexual fulfillment. Hmmm wat logic is that,

You must understand that men and women are wired differently. Its abt a moral issue here we are talking about. I'm not saying that those gals you had are immoral but they may not have a family or another man at the back of their mind. Men are commonly driven physically but woman emotionally. Most women would rather divorce, come clean then continue their search for love in a loveless/sexless marriage but man can differentiate love and sex like how you separate a apple and orange. That's the difference.

[hohoho613]

You must understand that men and women are wired differently. Its abt a moral issue here we are talking about. I'm not saying that those gals you had are immoral but they may not have a family or another man at the back of their mind. Men are commonly driven physically but woman emotionally. Most women would rather divorce, come clean then continue their search for love in a loveless/sexless marriage but man can differentiate love and sex like how you separate a apple and orange. That's the difference.


Ya, men and women are wired differently but both emotionally driven to certain %. Guys are easily to forgive and forget. Gals, they expects the guys to forgive them for their wrong doing but they will not even give a chance to the guys for their mistakes (one way traffic) when their closed their door to them.:(

[blackeagle10]

Hi rams
Men are commonly driven physically but woman emotionally. Most women would rather divorce, come clean then continue their search for love in a loveless/sexless marriage .[/QUOTE]

Exactly right and that's what my other half told me when we were going through a rough patch last year. Almost send a PI in to investigate her activities.

Your values/beliefs about not having affairs outside yr marriage are commendable. Think the fact u are more successful careerwise hv put a damper on his libido. Men are basically hunters by nature and yr husband is not comfortable with reversal of roles. If he can still surf porn, he can still have an erection and he has to satisfy that need somewhere..

So better hv an open dicussion with him about yr frustrations and ask him honestly whether things are going well for him business wise. You will be surprised what is actually causing this rift in yr marriage. Sex is probably a secondary issue here. If u can tackle the primary cause, the intimacy will follow naturally. It is better to tackle it now than signing divorce papers 12 months down the road.

Once you resolve the primary issue,send yr kid away to be taken by yr relatives for a weekend. Have a weekend all by yrselves. Men like to relive their 'honeymoon' all over again.

Cheers

[Snowy23]

Before going to bed.

Husband : Dear, would you like to have a panadol ?

Wife : No. Why ?

Husband : So you don't have a headache. Let's fuck !


Can try if your wife giving you excuses for not having sex.

But for me, I am the one giving excuses.... especially if the bullets already used up :D

[gent]

Bro,

do not worry la. I'm 1 like you also but after 2 -3 months your wife will come back to you 1 la. Must give her some time to recover mah....:)

If it's 2 -3 months, it's ok. But it's 2 years now, and no improvement at all.

[blackheart]

You must understand that men and women are wired differently. Its abt a moral issue here we are talking about. I'm not saying that those gals you had are immoral but they may not have a family or another man at the back of their mind. Men are commonly driven physically but woman emotionally. Most women would rather divorce, come clean then continue their search for love in a loveless/sexless marriage but man can differentiate love and sex like how you separate a apple and orange. That's the difference.
Based on my experiences with other married women, most of them don't seek divorce purely because of their children. As a result, they try to seek for emotional satisfaction among other men while still engaged in a loveless/sexless marriage. Unfortunately, for many such women, they find that they will inevitably need to provide physical satisfaction in exchange for that emotional need. IMHO, most married women who had affairs, didn't do it initially for the sake of sex. They had sex in the hope that the third party could fill the emotional void in them.

Blackheart

[geylangbonker]

Based on my experiences with other married women, most of them don't seek divorce purely because of their children. As a result, they try to seek for emotional satisfaction among other men while still engaged in a loveless/sexless marriage. Unfortunately, for many such women, they find that they will inevitably need to provide physical satisfaction in exchange for that emotional need. IMHO, most married women who had affairs, didn't do it initially for the sake of sex. They had sex in the hope that the third party could fill the emotional void in them.

Blackheart


yes...i agree strongly.....!i don;t understand spore women....they have a family and kids....what's so desirable about their void emotions in themselves.it's like
giving their husbands wearing a green hat.

[Frankiestine]

Unfortunately, for many such women, they find that they will inevitably need to provide physical satisfaction in exchange for that emotional need. Blackheart
Tats when things starts to get complicated and the guy wants out...

[blackheart]

Tats when things starts to get complicated and the guy wants out...
Yes bro. IMHO, affairs should be carried out with the sole purpose of fulfilling a void in one's physical needs. If a marriage is so bad that one needs an outlet to fill that void in their emotional needs, they should get a divorce and start life afresh. Then again, I am sure there will be many who beg to differ.

Anyway, this thread is about sexless marriages rather than loveless marriages so I guess I have sort of digressed.

Blackheart

[jollywell]

i have a friend who told me recently that once the wife had their first kid, she refuses to have any sex with him for the mentality she has is... making love for having baby only.. :o :(

[Frankiestine]

the mentality she has is... making love for having baby only.. :o :(
thats what i told my rsm...you think my sperm only for making babies???

[rams]

So better hv an open dicussion with him about yr frustrations and ask him honestly whether things are going well for him business wise.

He is no longer in any business but instead a employee that takes home a mere salary that he himself deemed as not enough.
I didn't complain.
If you are saying this might caused a rift in our marriage because of the amt he earns compared to mine, then why did he try and earn more? He could have change his job or something..

[Easydeals]

thats what i told my rsm...you think my sperm only for making babies???

Same here leh. Dunno what women these days are thinking. I am suffering the same fate. If like this back in the old days of our grandpa, I would have taken multiple wives liao. One wife for every kid kekeke....:D

[classalpha]

i had known a few married woman who had a unhappy marriage and do not give their husband any sex.Because of children they choose to stay.
All of them had an affair with another guy. they told me they need emotion support, they need excitment, they need unplanned sex.
Best of all,they need freedom. As their 'BF' wont question their every moves.
one of them dont even sleep in the same room with her hubby!

the only one that divoce, had no child. And now within 6mth got herself a new bf.

See, so difficult to find a someone faithful......:(

[mark21]

Ya, me too . Pretend to surf net until room light off then proceed to sleep.

[Snowy23]

Ya, me too . Pretend to surf net until room light off then proceed to sleep.
You always act blur lah

[ricardo]

Ya, me too . Pretend to surf net until room light off then proceed to sleep.

with sbf no need to pretend lah tons of info and interesting threads here. so start really surf sbf ok?