Lai advice, Kam xia!

[medallion]

Hey bros and sisters

I am in a 2 years relationship with my GF. Things are pretty alright for us so far. However, i have an issue which i have no idea how i should handle. Her sex drive is really low. Our frequency is probably like 2-4 times a month. we are in our mid twenties. How is this even normal?

Sex will be pretty straightforward, no BJ, straight to the point and i find that she is doing it just to complete the task at times. I feel pretty bad about it. I tried talking to her about it before, doesnt end very well. It has sorta become a routine kind of thing. Sucks man.

On the other hand, i am a typical horny guy with many deep and wild fantasies. haha. I would like to believe that i am normal as i had great times with my ex gfs. The problem now is that i feel that i am no longer confident in my sexual abilities. I feel that maybe i am not even good at it.

Thought i should have a FB outside of the relationship to satisfy my sexual needs, but like being unfair uh. She is definitely a nice girl to be with other than the sexual part.

Big brother and sisters, any advice on this matter??

[avantas]

Hey man.

There are a few angles to look at your situation. Let me share my 2 cents worth of perspective.

CONTEXT/ RELATIONSHIP

Socially a woman may be uninterested in sex for the following reasons:

1. Upbringing. A sex interested woman is vulgar and crude.
2. Power play / cock block. Providing sex readily makes the guy lose interests fast and devalued herself. Better to grind the guy so more benefits and less effort.
3. Player. Got many choices of other men. Choose the current bf because he provides the most with the least issues. I have female friends who go for really CMI men cos they feel more secure with a man that no other women wants. But they themselves do not want to treat the guy better or provide good sex.

Context is basically all the baseline factors/ baggage that you enter a relationship with. It is always troubling to have a relationship with someone that carries one of the item above. It still works out for some guys cos there are always a sizable number of men who have issues becoming an attractive mate for more interesting partner. Money helps but sometimes you may end up being a Roberto cos all they want from you is your financial comforts.

PHYSICAL.

1. Bad experience. Your skill level is not there. From fore play to post play, the woman feels like a dead sex toy cos she never reaches the high she thought should be there. You choose a bad timing, location or reason to have sex and etc.
2. Heath issues. Low sex drive, pussy too tight, she actually has a non lethal STD and etc.
3. Spare tyre /affair. She is actually having sex regularly but not with you. She had such great sex with some other guy before and you don't make the grade.

Physical are things you or she can improve on. However in your case due to your age, my view is that you are unable to provide good sex for her compared to an older more establish guy. Women are driven by emotion and to create the conducive environment where they are willing to do kinky things for you often require a particular life style and a particular age for her and yourself.

The typical misconception is that 2 young adults would be fucking like rabbits. But look around the entire forum, real or not, most of the time either the man OR woman is older significantly or both are in the 30s with nothing to lose. You might as well target an 18 or 19 syt and your sex life would be better.

One advice is : Don't try to change a woman to someone you want. They never do. Better to find someone who already has it especially when you have the youth to risk it. The only issue is... will you be the same man you used to be when you turn 30s...

For example when I was your age, it was exciting to request my gf then to turn up at my house wearing nothing but a 1m x 1m silk scarf wrapped around her body. But when I got older and another gf turned up unexpectedly at my house doing the exact same thing. In my mind I was thinking. . "My life is good but I need to dump her soon cos she is high maintenance"

Think about it

[localtonyboy]

well-said.

Hey man.

There are a few angles to look at your situation. Let me share my 2 cents worth of perspective.

CONTEXT/ RELATIONSHIP

Socially a woman may be uninterested in sex for the following reasons:

1. Upbringing. A sex interested woman is vulgar and crude.
2. Power play / cock block. Providing sex readily makes the guy lose interests fast and devalued herself. Better to grind the guy so more benefits and less effort.
3. Player. Got many choices of other men. Choose the current bf because he provides the most with the least issues. I have female friends who go for really CMI men cos they feel more secure with a man that no other women wants. But they themselves do not want to treat the guy better or provide good sex.

Context is basically all the baseline factors/ baggage that you enter a relationship with. It is always troubling to have a relationship with someone that carries one of the item above. It still works out for some guys cos there are always a sizable number of men who have issues becoming an attractive mate for more interesting partner. Money helps but sometimes you may end up being a Roberto cos all they want from you is your financial comforts.

PHYSICAL.

1. Bad experience. Your skill level is not there. From fore play to post play, the woman feels like a dead sex toy cos she never reaches the high she thought should be there. You choose a bad timing, location or reason to have sex and etc.
2. Heath issues. Low sex drive, pussy too tight, she actually has a non lethal STD and etc.
3. Spare tyre /affair. She is actually having sex regularly but not with you. She had such great sex with some other guy before and you don't make the grade.

Physical are things you or she can improve on. However in your case due to your age, my view is that you are unable to provide good sex for her compared to an older more establish guy. Women are driven by emotion and to create the conducive environment where they are willing to do kinky things for you often require a particular life style and a particular age for her and yourself.

The typical misconception is that 2 young adults would be fucking like rabbits. But look around the entire forum, real or not, most of the time either the man OR woman is older significantly or both are in the 30s with nothing to lose. You might as well target an 18 or 19 syt and your sex life would be better.

One advice is : Don't try to change a woman to someone you want. They never do. Better to find someone who already has it especially when you have the youth to risk it. The only issue is... will you be the same man you used to be when you turn 30s...

For example when I was your age, it was exciting to request my gf then to turn up at my house wearing nothing but a 1m x 1m silk scarf wrapped around her body. But when I got older and another gf turned up unexpectedly at my house doing the exact same thing. In my mind I was thinking. . "My life is good but I need to dump her soon cos she is high maintenance"

Think about it

[medallion]

Thanks for your advice man. Will definitely consider your advice. Thanks for sharing though!

Cheers!