Those going to Enlist or reservist...good news for u...Lip Lai..

[Bohemian001]

The Lobo Times reported on the new SAF regime for SOC to be implemented wef 32nd March 2005.. to keep up with times & the ever-increasing 'chao kengs' & 'Gu Niangs' in the arm forces commonly refered to as the BAPOK forces in the international circles...

Extracts from the Lobo Times :

"Due to the extremely poor physiques & professionally trained chao kengs of our gu niangs...sorry should be valiant soldiers.. high authorities in the SAF proposed new sets of exercise regime to Defence minister Teo & was approved on the spot...

Changes as below :

SOC - Soldiers to run the first 400m in their birthday suit with only their Saf-issued RENOMA underwear ( due to increasing complaints of heat stroke), construction helmet, yellow boots (courtesy of PCK pte ltd)..

Reaching the low wall, Soldiers are to exchange their underwear with their buddy b4 clearing the wall....

Reaching the monkey bar, guniangs are to take off their underwear again & placed it on their head to act as blinds...(soldiers caught cheating to confine during weekends to wash the whole platoons bras...oops...underwears).. Blind-folded, they r to make their way thru the monkey bar with their sausage & meatballs dangling in the air & shouting shouting alike monkeys looking for mates... (Soldiers caught trying to poke the person in front's Kar Cheng will be severly penalised..).

Once reaching the Windows, Soldiers are to Pcc thru the windows.... (Magazines courtesy of Playboy & Long Hu Pao will be provided to enhance the process)...

Done, proceeding to the ZigZag bar.... soldiers are to charge thru it shouting "KNN" before proceeding to the last station, low ramp... where they will take off all their things (sbo..boots..etc..) & farked the Meimeis ( Saf contracted from Geylang OKT @ a discounted rate) in the rhythm of 2,3,4....singing 'STAND UP FOR SINGAPORE" concurrently....

After the last station, Soldiers are to carry the Meimeis & dash to the Finishing Point.... Beverages & Buffet will be provided for the first 30 runners to come in...

Those failed need not despair as the Geylang Meimeis will stay back overnight to provided ERT (Enhanced Remedial Training)..however Overtimes charges will be auto-deducted from their pay...."

Those who performed extremely well will be selected to OCS (Okt Cumming School), SISPEC ( Suck Inside Shoot, Painlessly Eject Cum), or to become a qualified PTI ( Pcc Traing Instuctor)

The Ministry hopes to achieve better physique & mentality to prepare our soldiers for the modern war where missiles will come in the form of sperms, Mine Detector in the form of Penis...... etc....

[Eastpipper]

wa!like dat oso can?quite imaginative huh!not bad,gd effort.
so must wait till 32 march?so is cumming!

[Bohemian001]

u wait lor...the day will definitely cum... :D

[asdfghjkl]

pai seh ler.. is this true bo? :rolleyes:

[Bohemian001]

Dun know which bro out there zap me with " haha...zap u...not sex related.." remarks.... :mad:

...surely it must b that little bit related to sex riz? Army & sex cums together, don't they? I'm not offended btw...just indignated by some bros out there seemingly so happy with their anonymous identity to shoot people down...

[Bohemian001]

It's fictitious...just happens to be in another forum realise got some bros out there going enlist these few days...so create this story to let them have a positive mindset to go in...keke... but kuku post here kena deduct pts....

[Bohemian001]

Part 1

She didn't leave a very deep impression on me...

I was at the opposite table chatting away with my colleagues @ Cartel Cafe Suntec...we were celebrating for a successful deal that was all-too-important for our coming appraisal period..

I caught sight of a familiar fair lady @ the opposite table..isn't she my ex-course mate, MAJORIE? I excused myself and went over to say a hi...she was together with another gal friend..... who unlike her is a tanned, small built (but quite fit) creature....not really tomboyish but close to it...until she opens her mouth..."Hi, I'm Jean here...."..Such a smooth & gentle voice...really melts my heart (I have a soft spot for girls with a sweet voice)..

As I walk back to my table, the voice kept echoing in my mind...strangely the fact that she isn't conventionally pretty... (looks like http://img206.exs.cx/img206/6785/jeanjpg9qm.th.jpg )

Shortly after, I caught a glimpse (not really a glimpse, spent my whole night staring @ that direction) of Majorie & Jean leaving....I hastily find an excuse to leave... As I went out of the cafe, I only see Jean standing alone outside the salon (which is beside the cafe)...

Me : " Isn't Majorie with you?"
Jean :" Oh, her bf came & fetched her already & I am waiting for a cab here...."

Sensing the help The Almighty has rendered me, I offered to send her home which is @ Bukit Ba+++... Nothing happens just an exchange of fone no. and finding out that she's actually a army regular (1st Sgt - XX Signals)...

to be cont'd..

It's a true experience thou some of the more "identity-sensitive" things I might make it a bit fictitious..but will try to keep things "as real as possible"...

Please let me know if u guys like me to continue a not...cos some bros might not like it & start deducting my reps for no apparent reason again....

[Bohemian001]

Sorri tink I better stop for now...kena zap again.... apologies to the bros who tinks my thread sucks....... ;) it's better to continue being a leecher...

[Cage73]

Continue please!!



Part 1

She didn't leave a very deep impression on me...

I was at the opposite table chatting away with my colleagues @ Cartel Cafe Suntec...we were celebrating for a successful deal that was all-too-important for our coming appraisal period..

I caught sight of a familiar fair lady @ the opposite table..isn't she my ex-course mate, MAJORIE? I excused myself and went over to say a hi...she was together with another gal friend..... who unlike her is a tanned, small built (but quite fit) creature....not really tomboyish but close to it...until she opens her mouth..."Hi, I'm Jean here...."..Such a smooth & gentle voice...really melts my heart (I have a soft spot for girls with a sweet voice)..

As I walk back to my table, the voice kept echoing in my mind...strangely the fact that she isn't conventionally pretty... (looks like http://img206.exs.cx/img206/6785/jeanjpg9qm.th.jpg )

Shortly after, I caught a glimpse (not really a glimpse, spent my whole night staring @ that direction) of Majorie & Jean leaving....I hastily find an excuse to leave... As I went out of the cafe, I only see Jean standing alone outside the salon (which is beside the cafe)...

Me : " Isn't Majorie with you?"
Jean :" Oh, her bf came & fetched her already & I am waiting for a cab here...."

Sensing the help The Almighty has rendered me, I offered to send her home which is @ Bukit Ba+++... Nothing happens just an exchange of fone no. and finding out that she's actually a army regular (1st Sgt - XX Signals)...

to be cont'd..

It's a true experience thou some of the more "identity-sensitive" things I might make it a bit fictitious..but will try to keep things "as real as possible"...

Please let me know if u guys like me to continue a not...cos some bros might not like it & start deducting my reps for no apparent reason again....

[Bohemian001]

For the third bro who disapprove my post :" Waste time, waste space: u tink ur thread very farni arh..".. Well @ least Bro Sammyboy didn't find it such a waste of space as to remove it yet...

As for it being not farni....sorri, maybe it's my fault lor...maybe I'm not pro enuf literary like some bros here but @ least I did spend some time & effort composing it...... :(

[mJ`mJ]

Please leh... where got 32 of march? which calender show 32 march? show me? wah lao eh.. very waste space u know?

[Bohemian001]

supposed to be fictitious alreadi... just like pple stating 29th Feb, 31st Nov...etc... U might as well ask :" where to buy Lobo Times? Tot S'pore only got Straits Times" .... Certain tings r pretty obvious & supposed to be taken with a pinch of salt.... :D

[onion_rings]

Life is full of surprises..U will never know what will happen next..Why do people take it so hard..Just go with the flow & enjoy.. :D

:rolleyes:

[newyorker88]

It is quite funny, but I dont think SAF teaches you to fuck like that. they teach you HOW TO FUCK LOWER RANKS THAN YOU. OR to fuck junior officers who are new and screwed up. Or fuck the whole exercise and let your officers get fucked by higher officers for screwing up the exercise :D


Anyway, nice story, continue and let the creative juice flow!

[Bohemian001]

For the bros who dun mind my poor writings...those who dun like just treat this as an eyesore...

Part 2

After 2 weeks of sms-ing, I could sense that Jean response quite positively towards my advance.... I took the cue & asked her out which she promptly agrees...It's a Saturday night & could still remember there's Chingay parade somewhere...nevertheless, I fetched her @ Chimjes before we proceed to Boat Quay to have some drinks....As an army regular & looking like a used-to-chiong-pubs ger, I have no qualms about her being a good drinker...(we shared 4 1/2 jugs of beer between us that night)..

It's a very mermerising night, with gentle winds blowing by, perfectly responding to the rhythm of the soft waves hitting the banks of the Singapore River... the neon lightings around us furthering enhancing the romanticism in the air........as a half drunk us chat our hearts away.....

I suggested walking towards Cavenagh bridge besides Fullerton Hotel to breathe fresh air & soberness into us... she nodded her head & stood up...walking pretty unsteadily already... I took the opportunity to grab hold of her by her shoulder...she didn't resist......in fact, I could see that she's secretly happy with the progress...

Reaching the bridge, the mood & perphaps more of the effect of the alcohol, prompted me to plant a gentle kiss on her...As I looked at her, her eyes sort of mellowed... those thin and soft lips really look luscious against her tanned skin.....soon our tongues began to engage into some ' mini-fight' of their own...

We were too engrossed & pre-occupied to realise that there were quite a number of tourists walking pass us.....or do we really care....... it's a world-belongs-to-us sort of moment........I always thought an army regular wouldn't be so gentle or romantic in the 'sensual' department....how wrong was I... perphaps she did have some tongue-PT or whatever training in camp?

Gently though she was, at one point of time she took over the driver seat & began to take control of me; I was reduced to a little-beings being savoured..( volunteeringly & willingly though).........to be cont'd