Close friends between man n woman

[Edyta]

Normal opposite sex friendship seems manageable, close friends just impossible. Like what its like in movie "When Harry met Sally", sex always gets in the way.

Guys, is sex always on your agenda with your close female friends u are attracted to? Would u hold back or forgo the sex part if u value the friendship?

[emuLord]

Sex is always on a guy's mind, thinking of all the wonderful possibilities...but that does not mean a close relationship cannot develop without the sexual tensions. Depends a lot on both parties.

[WolfWoof]

I forgo several chance in the past..

I value friendship more than sex.. Still having them as close friends

[bfreemen]

I forgo several chance in the past..

I value friendship more than sex.. Still having them as close friends

well done +1 for you

[Rickey]

Guys, is sex always on your agenda with your close female friends u are attracted to? Would u hold back or forgo the sex part if u value the friendship?
Yes, sis edyta, i tink it is possible for some guys to do so, at least i do...

but i concede tat it is really not going to be easy for guys to do tat as most of us are horny by nature...however, i believe if a guy really likes or loves a gal n value the friendship wif her tat much, he would seek her overall happiness and well being 1st in day-to-day life matters which we are all faced wif by extending to her all the necessary help she needs within his capability like in a brother/sister r/s...and if ever sex does come into the picture n develops mutually at the end of it all, it shows the relationship has been growing healthily n is blooming into a real love r/s which would make the r/s tat much sweeter as it goes along happily wif passing time...jus my 4 cents worth of tots for u, sis...

[BMW69]

Sex isn't always on my mind. I have a really close friend that I tell everything to whom I treat as a younger sister. When she Zaogeng I told her, when she nip slip or if her bra is exposed, I tell her. Never once did I get a hard on looking at her when that happened and mind you she's a really hot syt. Before we became so close, I admit that I lusted for her. But now, our friendship trumps everything else.

[amatory]

I forgo several chance in the past..

I value friendship more than sex.. Still having them as close friends

It may be a matter of time. What if you see her 5 times a week and for more than 10 years?

[soothHerOnlyIf]

I guess it has to be mutual? some girls can be pure friends where else some other girls will think they are not attractive enough for you to want to woo them so will try to push the limit and seduce you.

[yangguo]

I forgo several chance in the past..

I value friendship more than sex.. Still having them as close friends

Bullshit.. :rolleyes:

[onlyhuman]

Bullshit.. :rolleyes:

Eh I seriously got female gd frds...even if she strips and offers me I won't take too...
Why spoil the friendship...where I can go fl or geylang...

[nine9nine]

I value friendships as much as sex. If sex is always start on one's mind, the chances of blowing up a platonic friendship is there.

I have several chances but I do not know how to 'test' water hence its better for me to stay on the shore. However there are also times girls wanna test water on me and thats where the challenge comes. So far I have not succeeded and vice versa, it will drag for a long long time.

[yangguo]

Eh I seriously got female gd frds...even if she strips and offers me I won't take too...
Why spoil the friendship...where I can go fl or geylang...

You said:" even if.." so this is just your assumption.

I guess if she is attractive and she strip in front of you in real life, I think you will not resist.

That's why we say :"small head ruled over big head!". :cool:

Well.. how do you know that it will spoil the frienship as a result?

Maybe your and her can become more than just friends, who knows, right?

[BernardFrosty]

Weird....for me it had always been the other way round. I had close female friends and we hit the zone where it's either we remain as friends or a relationship. We stayed as friends. Mutually agreed that the chemistry was just not there to take it to the next level. WAS regarded like their BFF until they find themselves a bf and I was dumped like a rock in the deep ocean.

The level of intimacy was just like with any buddies. Never crossed the line of sticking my dicky in them.

Maybe it's just me....I just treat them like any other guy friend and while there are fleeting moments of horny tots. It had never translated to any real action.

Failed on too many such platonic relationships that I've given up.

They're all pretty girls. So much so that their other guy friends are so jealous of how close we are. Think that might have been the issue too when they actually find themselves a bf.

[BiRd13]

Yes. I treasure friendship than just sex too...
I do have several close friend (opposite sex) which very close till now...

One was an ex of mine, whom we maintain as very good friend till now. Never had sex after we broke up... Sometimes it's better to maintain as friend than lover...

Another one whom she think I'm 'gay'... Reason being that there's several occasion that we had high chance ending up having sex, but we never... We used to went for short trip together... Sleep on same bed... Even went to spa together, and get naked together in the jacuzzi... But nothing happened between us...

The last 'friend' is one whom we never have sex... But do admit that we did heavy petting before... But no sex.. If sex is penetration :)

[onlyhuman]

You said:" even if.." so this is just your assumption.

I guess if she is attractive and she strip in front of you in real life, I think you will not resist.

That's why we say :"small head ruled over big head!". :cool:

Well.. how do you know that it will spoil the frienship as a result?

Maybe your and her can become more than just friends, who knows, right?

Well they are attractive enough to turn heads.
we talk abt it on the sex thing and we too agreed the sex will spoil our friendship..we went on hols together with 3 of us sharing a single queen bed.

There are some thing friends value each other more than sex.

And I am not those person that small head rules over or what la...
There is a word called self- discipline. Which over the years had become a gd habit of mine. :)

[PeaceWithin]

been in that situation before... and as tempted as it was to take what's offered on the table... I didn't take it. Never really regretted, but sometimes do look back and think how it might have been.

Nothing is absolute here...

[5ag1_Boar]

When there is a strong friendship first, some guys won't step across the line in case the friendship is spoilt. Frankly, for some things, the opposite sex makes better friends than friends of the same gender, and I for one would not want to spoil the friendship.

The other way round is better though... FB first, then become good friend. This kind, you know the sex isn't going to spoil the friendship. ;)

[alec]

i hav this good friend whom i've known for 10yrs plus, we always crap jokes n such together and acrk until can rot, but somehow i jus don't have any fantasy nor having sexual thoughts on her. I guess to mi friendship is more impt.

[Edyta]

Looks like I must be missing something in life! You guys value friendship alot - respect!

Everytime a guy becomes a v close friend he either wants a relationship (happy thing if i want it too), or sex (especially married men). That brings me to my next question, i think close friendship with a married man is a big no no?

Overall its kind if a shame it cant work out as just friends cos man n woman offer each other a v different perspective.

[wally888]

Sis, if u r attractive enuf most men will wanna bed u! :D
For me, my close gal friend r usually couple of years older than me so I not interested to bed her but we can talk cock about sex and she's open to this kinda conversation. :D

[WolfWoof]

Looks like I must be missing something in life! You guys value friendship alot - respect!

Everytime a guy becomes a v close friend he either wants a relationship (happy thing if i want it too), or sex (especially married men). That brings me to my next question, i think close friendship with a married man is a big no no?

Overall its kind if a shame it cant work out as just friends cos man n woman offer each other a v different perspective.

im married for 9 years.. im still early 30s.. my good friends are good friends and FBs are FBs..

just that maintaining friendship is harder is this situation as my OC just assumed every lady that calls is an 'enemy' haha

[SammyNewbie]

Edy.. I dunno why you always ask the same questions. Since I was on SBF I hear until I also sian liao lar. Why did the married man bed me... Why does man like to seduce gal instead of have paid sex. Now this again.

I really don't mean to be rude, but what's your motivation? Is it a demean men campaign? Are you trying to be a damsel in distress hoping some white knights will come to your rescue? Are you trying to find a weak willed guy you can ensnare to be your backburner bf while you sleep around? Are you a troll disguised as a girl?

Again bros, Please look at her past threads before you zap me. You will see I speak the truth. I am tired of being one of the tainted angels of SBF and bothering to answer this shit.

[HunterJ]

My personal belief brings everything down to self-discipline. God created woman and man to be mutually attracted to each and other, and there must be some sort of mutual attraction that attracts two beings to be together.

Thus, my point to bring across is to say that IF we (includes both men and women) want to maintain a pure platonic opposite sex relationship, it is definitely possible. To my own personal preference, I do feel very much comfortable with women as my friends. And yes, I have a few of them whom I've maintained the good friendship for 17 years and counting.

Just to share, I've encountered situations where my female friends are comfortable enough to expose every nitty gritty details of their life to me, asking me to choose a set of lingerie for their bf and wants my opinion as a guy, 4 girls squeezing me in a bed just because we went on a trip when we were younger and didn't have much money to spend, etc...

Of course, when we have a partner/companion (in a relationship), Trust is added on to self-discipline. Without doubt, jealousy and fear and all the negative feelings will slowly surface, because people don't trust each other. Some tried their best to hide these feelings, acting very generous, but in the end they feel worse.

I once had a gf, encouraged me to meet more friends, no matter male or female, but inside me, I just don't want her to get the wrong feeling or thinking or making her feel insecure. Less but not least, she was having her own "fun" with her "friends" all along the time, which puts me in a much greater dilemma.

Anyway, thank you for reading, and sorry if anything strikes anyone in a bad way. Just sharing some of my thoughts. Good night everyone. Have a nice day. =)

[dgsk]

Personally, I have both platonic female friends and true friends with benefits. I used to be either platonic or bf/gf in my relationships. Then 1 day I woke up to the fact that some of my "platonic" friends have needs and are looking in the wrong places for their release. I know because they kept coming to me for a shoulder to cry on. I decided then to moderate my views. Most times my friendships remain in tact; the odd few that get overly emotional, we just cool off and after a few months, they would invariably come back and we would stay platonic after that.

I guess there's no hard and fast rules because that sexual tension does arise shortly after we get intellectually and/or emotionally connected. It's how the moments present themselves that decide the course of the relationship.

[wells]

I have closed good female friends and never enter in to sex. Our mind should be able to draw lines not every hole must poke. Those guys have sex with their close female friends are to be blunt - taking advantage of close relation and trust.