Brotherhood? Think again who you tag with...

[k9er]

Cut long story short.

All is fair in love and war. So I told it to my gf that some of my other colleagues are after her too. She told me that she can’t do much if they insist to ask her out for dinner because of her job (being a salesperson) so I said no prob, as long as she keeps me informed. So we both know our situation.

So, now comes the part I want to share. It’s understandable every guy drools over a pretty girl (I would say my girlfriend is definitely the pretty faced type), to the extent that asking her to go out for dinner is a bragging material already. But the thing is, some of these guys who are suppose to be my colleagues, &knowing very well I have already hit off with my gf, actually had the guts to talk behind my back…and even disclosed encounters we all swore to "what happens there, stays there" So much for bros…ptuii… They even ask my girlfriend “don’t tell your bf we told you ok? We are telling you because we care. We see you are a nice girl etc.”

[Sandunes]

eating and shitting @ the same place sometimes will make you in some kinda of messed up situation.

it is hard not to be so possessive, or the other word maybe protective.

Unless she herself make a stand to give excuses to reject these butterflies, else you can only watch things happen.

She maybe enjoying the attention, which you may not know.

Have a talk with her, communicate well to avoid any conflict.

[Rasta Marley]

eating and shitting @ the same place sometimes will make you in some kinda of messed up situation

I agree Bro Sandunes. Never wash your dirt laundry in public; exactly the same as what Bro Sandunes say. You'll never know when this will come back to haunt you.

[MillieS]

Since she's already your girlfriend, you should probably trust her I guess! But oh well, you can never get rid opportunists (your 'friends'). This actually reminds me of a situation I was in. Haha. Why not go out for a dinner as a group? And show the rest that the both of you are actually serious about each other. My ex got a million times more secure after that. :)

[Darkrise]

It is pretty common for a "friend" to back stab you because of girls. Some of them are very good in hiding their intentions. These kind are the worst.

[k9er]

Actually i have to start off with some background.

My gf and I are not from the same company. We just have official dealings thru company business. It is my colleagues who are trying to hit on her.

The thing I wish to share is, about the people who would hit below the belt to impress girls. It was since that day, I totally dishonor my pledge to brotherhood and secrecy, and no longer choose to mingle with them. My only saving grace, my girlfriend said this to me, “lucky you have told me all you have done before when you chase me.” Honestly, honesty is the best policy. I came clean in front of my girl when she asked me what I have done during my singlehood, and I left no stones cover (well, except some very very dirty stones…hahaha…must keep some reserve right). So, when she listened to all those guys telling her…she know I have already told her the truth.

[k9er]

So, bros, what do you make of those people who would backstab you just to impress a girl, all for a very clear purpose of not “because you are a nice girl”…and we know better what they are up to. My girlfriend has been in sales line for some years, so she knows all guys are up to no good. She say she trusted me because I am the first guy whom she met thru work reasons, but actually honest enough to admit what I have done and not whitewash my own character with the intention to impress some small girls. She say she can tell from the moment they talk, because all they ever say is how good they are and how bad others were. So I was the only one who said, ya…I was kindda bad. I followed them to etc. etc. and did etc. etc. But I would change my life for you. That took her heart.

[Samroy]

if you and girl are in love then they cant do anything unless they know some of your secrets which can hurt her. so dont share your personal life with these guys. give some more time and attention to your gf. if can, go for holidays with her for few days.

[jasdude]

Cut long story short.

All is fair in love and war. So I told it to my gf that some of my other colleagues are after her too. She told me that she can’t do much if they insist to ask her out for dinner because of her job (being a salesperson) so I said no prob, as long as she keeps me informed. So we both know our situation.

So, now comes the part I want to share. It’s understandable every guy drools over a pretty girl (I would say my girlfriend is definitely the pretty faced type), to the extent that asking her to go out for dinner is a bragging material already. But the thing is, some of these guys who are suppose to be my colleagues, &knowing very well I have already hit off with my gf, actually had the guts to talk behind my back…and even disclosed encounters we all swore to "what happens there, stays there" So much for bros…ptuii… They even ask my girlfriend “don’t tell your bf we told you ok? We are telling you because we care. We see you are a nice girl etc.”

To some people ALL is FAIR game. Some guys will go to all lengths just to conquer irregardless spoken for or not. I strongly believe that whats yours will be yours and what goes around comes around.

[shiokpleasure]

U can say it's fair in your mind.
But your heart tells you otherwise.

Happened to me before. I intro girl i like to my friend. Inthe end he won. But i still treat him like buddy cause it's a fair game.

[JacqueMerlin]

Cut long story short.

All is fair in love and war. So I told it to my gf that some of my other colleagues are after her too. She told me that she can’t do much if they insist to ask her out for dinner because of her job (being a salesperson) so I said no prob, as long as she keeps me informed. So we both know our situation.

So, now comes the part I want to share. It’s understandable every guy drools over a pretty girl (I would say my girlfriend is definitely the pretty faced type), to the extent that asking her to go out for dinner is a bragging material already. But the thing is, some of these guys who are suppose to be my colleagues, &knowing very well I have already hit off with my gf, actually had the guts to talk behind my back…and even disclosed encounters we all swore to "what happens there, stays there" So much for bros…ptuii… They even ask my girlfriend “don’t tell your bf we told you ok? We are telling you because we care. We see you are a nice girl etc.”

I've been through what you went through. Some 'friend' went to hijack his 'brother's' gf and even initiated sex. This 'friend' did not find success and so he turned his attention to my girl and he managed to 'snatch' her from me.

Yes, indeed, all is fair and square. And so, it is fair that I see through the girls's character and this 'friend's' integrity.

You are friends to your friend's wife/gf/mistress/whore, but that does not give you the right to ride them. For do unto others what you want others to do unto you.

[Tai_zi21]

With friend like this,who need enemy? :D

[sp150]

Totally understand all the bros post here, but I think in bro k9er's case abit diff cos this "brotherhood" so called is all LAN jiao lang leh...alrdy is others gf/wife then u go backstab try to sian/bed/potong jalan the girl of course is against "code of conduct".
But bro k9er just open eyes big when screening ppl when cheonging, cos circle of trust must have barrier to entry one haha...and everyone inside have something to lose so anyone of us also wun do anything stupid.

[JacqueMerlin]

Cut long story short.

All is fair in love and war. So I told it to my gf that some of my other colleagues are after her too. She told me that she can’t do much if they insist to ask her out for dinner because of her job (being a salesperson) so I said no prob, as long as she keeps me informed. So we both know our situation.

So, now comes the part I want to share. It’s understandable every guy drools over a pretty girl (I would say my girlfriend is definitely the pretty faced type), to the extent that asking her to go out for dinner is a bragging material already. But the thing is, some of these guys who are suppose to be my colleagues, &knowing very well I have already hit off with my gf, actually had the guts to talk behind my back…and even disclosed encounters we all swore to "what happens there, stays there" So much for bros…ptuii… They even ask my girlfriend “don’t tell your bf we told you ok? We are telling you because we care. We see you are a nice girl etc.”

sorry bro... that's excuse according to experience. Good luck to you.

[unsung80]

Your group of friends that so call "brotherhood' is going to screw you up big big. time from the way you put it. Let's hope these 'brothers' are not going to be geniuely do something funny with your gf. At the same time there are bad people will also stab on other's back to gain monentary or a good bonk of a woman who is attached or married. Well is a crueless society afterall.

Now, not only you need to protect the woman from these horny fuckers. Is also a test of trust from your gf. If your can have faith and trust to go through this problem, am happy for you. If not don't be too upset, there are always good woman out there, matter of where and when to chance upon, fate.

Just my 2 cents to TS. Take care.

[tumakan]

brothers and bastards start with the same letter. until that moment you wont know who is really your friend. not really sure your situation, but i think maybe you are in a difficult position with the colleagues involved. not really good if the shit hits the fan in the workplace.

i think if your gf steady, whatever the bastards say is bullshit. in other words like other bros says here, it is a test of trust.

lastly, i read this somewhere: trust is an expensive thing, don't expect it from cheap people

i think this is a good lesson for all of us. just my 2cents to TS. hope everything goes well for you.

[asdfghjkl]

all is fair in love and war.. :o

[k9er]

honestly, every normal guy is probably a horny bastard,myself incl. otherwise why we are here in sbf? tho i gotta admit, altho i find affair stories here are hot, it doesn't feel so hot anymore when i am on this side. actually all that happened almost a year ago.

thx for all the bros who wished me luck. i guess i am lucky cos me n my gf are still going strong. had to admit, those ppl who tried to backstab me gave me a lot of pointers in the eyes of my gf. to her, i am true and i dont pretend infront of her, and that makes her feel safe with me.

and yes, initially it was difficult cos those colleagues somehow find themselves in a conflict of interest. we were all working good and had good fun drinking and doing stupid things, now becos of my gf, things got pretty personal and yep, the working r-ship is never the same again.

[queeniegal]

eating and shitting @ the same place sometimes will make you in some kinda of messed up situation.

it is hard not to be so possessive, or the other word maybe protective.

Unless she herself make a stand to give excuses to reject these butterflies, else you can only watch things happen.

She maybe enjoying the attention, which you may not know.

Have a talk with her, communicate well to avoid any conflict.

Ha totally agreed nv eat at shit same place!

I nv want that happen. Lol

[LovePotion]

You regard them as brothers? All brothers should know never touches your buddys girl or keep too much in contact

Since they have played bastard, you can only pretend to be close during work and ignore them

At least you still have your girlfriend and used her to test this friendship

[muscleboi]

actually how will we even know if our "brothers" are playing a fool with our gf behind our back? bro, you are lucky your gf told you what they told her and she chose to trust you.

imo, there's little to no brotherhood when it comes to women.

[k9er]

i know...which is why i am glad my gf trust me in our early days. if she was gullible, she might be poisoned by their words. but instead, she choose to tell me what they say, even emphasizing on their last remark "dont tell yr bf we tell u ok. we dont want you to be hurt or cheated"

lol. the irony. who is trying to hurt and cheating here...those guys are really naive enough to think those corny and heroic act going to impress her. she just acted to trust their words to make them talk more. and whatever they say, she relate back to me.

[comm]

Cut long story short.

All is fair in love and war. So I told it to my gf that some of my other colleagues are after her too. She told me that she can’t do much if they insist to ask her out for dinner because of her job (being a salesperson) so I said no prob, as long as she keeps me informed. So we both know our situation.

So, now comes the part I want to share. It’s understandable every guy drools over a pretty girl (I would say my girlfriend is definitely the pretty faced type), to the extent that asking her to go out for dinner is a bragging material already. But the thing is, some of these guys who are suppose to be my colleagues, &knowing very well I have already hit off with my gf, actually had the guts to talk behind my back…and even disclosed encounters we all swore to "what happens there, stays there" So much for bros…ptuii… They even ask my girlfriend “don’t tell your bf we told you ok? We are telling you because we care. We see you are a nice girl etc.”

this type of ppl is shit 1, they will probably backstab u for promotion too

[jasdude]

i know...which is why i am glad my gf trust me in our early days. if she was gullible, she might be poisoned by their words. but instead, she choose to tell me what they say, even emphasizing on their last remark "dont tell yr bf we tell u ok. we dont want you to be hurt or cheated"

lol. the irony. who is trying to hurt and cheating here...those guys are really naive enough to think those corny and heroic act going to impress her. she just acted to trust their words to make them talk more. and whatever they say, she relate back to me.

In history of time, many battles are fought over money, fame and women. Backstabbing, rumour spreading and squealing on pretense of good intentions are rampant in this society. Its seen everywhere not excluding SBF, the sour and the sore try their best to sow discord to justify their wants.

TS, try to maintain a healthy communicative relationship built on trust and love. Distance yourself from the dangers that you identified. Good Luck!

[k9er]

Thanks for all the advise given.

Appreciate it. Actually this is my 3rd r-ship in 5 years....and things are looking good for us...especially when we are having our personnal time together.

The thing is, she is the prettiest i have dated, and the pressure is definately on me. (she had 4 rships before me, and most of them looked OK. one was even rich) while she consistently maintains that i am the best in ranking so far...i still have slight confidence issues. (can't blame me...my last ex dumped me because she wanted a man who is willing spend on her???)

I am not exactly wealthy but i am also far from broke. in a way, i am as average as any average joe can be. i have a decent ride and a decent place to stay. i have a decent job with a decent rate of pay. she on the other hand, earns anything from a consistant 4-figure commission up to 5 figure bonus on her bonus months, twice a year!

so am i feeling alittle small? yes. definately. i forgot to mention in my previous post, those colleagues of mine who used to go after her are not only from my same rank. i know at least 2 who are from senior mgmt. then, there are those others she meet from her sales dealings...bosses, managers, CEOs... talk about competition...i feel a whole lot here.

sorry for the rant bros. to be honest, for the past 1 year i dated my gf, i dare not looked at other girls or having any funny thoughts or urge to cheong / ktv / massage etc. i am so occupied with spending whatever time i can affored just to be with her, i am actually a changed man!

maybe true love does exist, when u met with someone your mind simply cannot live without.

[casinos]

Thanks for all the advise given.

Appreciate it. Actually this is my 3rd r-ship in 5 years....and things are looking good for us...especially when we are having our personnal time together.

The thing is, she is the prettiest i have dated, and the pressure is definately on me. (she had 4 rships before me, and most of them looked OK. one was even rich) while she consistently maintains that i am the best in ranking so far...i still have slight confidence issues. (can't blame me...my last ex dumped me because she wanted a man who is willing spend on her???)

I am not exactly wealthy but i am also far from broke. in a way, i am as average as any average joe can be. i have a decent ride and a decent place to stay. i have a decent job with a decent rate of pay. she on the other hand, earns anything from a consistant 4-figure commission up to 5 figure bonus on her bonus months, twice a year!

so am i feeling alittle small? yes. definately. i forgot to mention in my previous post, those colleagues of mine who used to go after her are not only from my same rank. i know at least 2 who are from senior mgmt. then, there are those others she meet from her sales dealings...bosses, managers, CEOs... talk about competition...i feel a whole lot here.

sorry for the rant bros. to be honest, for the past 1 year i dated my gf, i dare not looked at other girls or having any funny thoughts or urge to cheong / ktv / massage etc. i am so occupied with spending whatever time i can affored just to be with her, i am actually a changed man!

maybe true love does exist, when u met with someone your mind simply cannot live without.

u yourself got the idea to pick her as your gf from your line of work, as like how u chose your profession as your colleagues do.

The only person who can make u feel small is yourself. And hedging your own happiness on another person (your gf) whom u can't live without is a bad idea.

[k9er]

Is it really bad?

I just thought I kindda liked the me now. no more spending recklessly at bars or ktvs. Whatever i save from there, i keep it for saving and for us.

[Sandunes]

Is it really bad?

I just thought I kindda liked the me now. no more spending recklessly at bars or ktvs. Whatever i save from there, i keep it for saving and for us.

good for you bro, all the best in your relationship. :D

[k9er]

Bros, just want to ask. Is it possible to love, and not becoming over-possessive? I mean, could we have done it w/o realizing? I notice I am particularly protective over my current gf…which I have problem controlling myself over it. To me, she is the best I have so far. Pretty, smart, funny, hardworking, awesome in bed. Awesome as in, I really enjoy all that she does for me. And she says she also enjoys what I return to her.

With all that factored in, and she being in sales line…I find myself sometimes, unreasonably jealous and will tend to make the situation sore. We’ve been in this loop for a year now, and while we make up quite fast…I am concerned over this.

She has been reassuring me several times now that I am the one for her, and also the man she loves. I melt each time I hear her saying this but still, I always get this uncontrollable feeling of jealousy that stems from her work. Her going out lunch with her clients. Her going out with her ex-s (in a group of friend though). Or her going out with her admirers (also from her list of clientele)

Until recently, she has become visibly upset while trying to ensure me. She starts saying things like “I love you, but I feel you are starting to control me”,”Dear, you can’t always control who I go out with. They are all clients. Unless you don’t want me to work anymore” etc etc.

Despite that, she still tells me where she goes, who she is with, whenever she could. I can feel she respects my worry but I find myself hopelessly lame & worrisome. I just don’t wish to wear her patience down until the point of no return.

Any advise from bros? Or sharing?

[GrieGzEters]

U can only trust her. It's good enough that she tell u where she will be going. One thing for sure is you can't Let your lack of confidence gets the better of you, if not there be a time she piss and end the r/s .

[k9er]

Thanks alot bro.

I am hoping and doing my best to avoid that. Appreciate the advise.

[zeajay]

Well have your own circle of friends honeymoon period is over bro. Have more of your own time and less of "us" time. Apparently your gal needs to have her own space too. Anyway she is not your wife yet, things are different when you are married. So for now just enjoy your unmarried status first.

[k9er]

Thanks.

Appreciate the advise. I will get some healthier hobby then. like, surfing SBF...lol.

Yes, i believe she needs her space and time for her work. sigh...her attitude towards work was one of the things that attracted me last time.

i wouldn't be suprise if i take the next step with her. she is the one for me too.

[Sandunes]

Thanks.

Appreciate the advise. I will get some healthier hobby then. like, surfing SBF...lol.

Yes, i believe she needs her space and time for her work. sigh...her attitude towards work was one of the things that attracted me last time.

i wouldn't be suprise if i take the next step with her. she is the one for me too.

Bro, been together in a RS is not just you and her, she need to get in your circle of friends and you need to get into hers. in this way, at least you will know what kinda of ppl that she is mixing with and she knows what kinda of ppl you are mixing with. Sometimes, ladies just need a sense of security, that's just the basic need.

[littlepok]

Thanks.

Appreciate the advise. I will get some healthier hobby then. like, surfing SBF...lol.

Yes, i believe she needs her space and time for her work. sigh...her attitude towards work was one of the things that attracted me last time.

i wouldn't be suprise if i take the next step with her. she is the one for me too.

hi bro, my personal thoughts:

she has a circle of friends BEFORE she knew u. u accept her for who she is. she did not turn like that after knowing u, dining with CEO etc. this is who she is, not what u want her to be. changing for loved ones is acceptable to a certain extent only.

that is her work, like it or not. it is inevitable there will be instances u feel jealous. trust me, i know how u feel, to be inferior to your lover, be it confidence, salary, lifestyle etc as well as competitors. think on the other side: if she prefer the CEO or rich guys who will splurge on her, there is nothing holding her back since u cannot give her much in return (monetary wise. sex wise i dunno. maybe u 15inch then it awe her every night). if a woman leave for $$$, there's nothing u can do

this is your relationship that nobody can determine how strong it is. only both of u know. to be frank, the jealousy can put off a woman faster than u thought. it not only show your over-possession, it also show lack of confidence, jealousy, small-hearted guy etc. all are negative traits that the girl is never attracted to. u are doing an injustice in this sense as the better guys are trying to attract her and u are pushing her away. (1 pull 1 push). is that the scenario u want? i doubt so right?

if a woman loves u, kick her also wont leave. if she want to leave, u hug her leg also will leave. some things are destined but things within your ability, if the relationship is over u will regret that u did not put in your best. too late for regrets then, especially for such a well-qualified woman, the demand is always overwhelming.

be glad she took the initiative to tell u where and who she is with instead of u hounding. she took the effort to reassure u, be glad about that. at least she bothered to. with more overwhelming jeslousy, she will just get tired and forget about updating u then. u will feel worse and imagine crap like she is in fairmont, half-drunk, taking lift up to presidential suite blah blah. u know what i mean.

count your blessings for having such a capable and wonderful gf, one who makes u proud when u go out with and make heads turn, one who loves u and take effort to reassure u. treasure her and if she is meant to leave u one day because she is too good and u too lousy, just learn to treasure every single day and bonk with her, they did not come easy. the key issue is if u took the effort to ensure if the end never comes till death

good luck, best wishes bro.

[k9er]

Thank you bro littlepok.

Your post is a wake up call for me. I will look and reflect on myself more. I know the issue now is on me. I earn on a salary basis, and even though my basic salary is higher, her record in sales and commissions exceeds 5 figure every month.

Yes, you are so right in every sense of your post. Salary, list of admirers, work achievements...i am constantly overwhelmed by what she has accomplished despite having to balance "entertainment" & "self-respect".

I have heard her scold her clients on the phone, telling them to F off because she won't die from losing sales from them. Those men asked her out for a dinner and time together. She told them off saying she entertains with sales problems and matters, not with her body. I was suprised at her outburst. Even though I would never want her to do anything like that, I told her she still doesn't have to make it so rude and risk offending them. She calmly replied me that horny bastards are everywhere. They don't get what they want doesn't mean she will lose any sales. True enough, end of the month the order still comes in. That is how capable she is.

Anyway, i think the points that bros bring up here is clear enough. I should start getting my shits together before it hits the fan.

Again, thank you all for your pointers. I really appreciate the advise. I love this woman very much and I am willing to make myself her worth.

[1nottiboy]

I will give you my views. Wont be pretty though.

1. As for the bros who backstabbed you... The brotherhood was never mutual. They never took you as a bro. which could mean that you were too trusting or you were not well liked? I think its probably both. Or maybe your gf is just THAT HOT!!! not likely though. Cos I have hung around many pretty girls but I have yet to meet my bros backstabbing each other. what I am trying to say is that real bros dont backstab each other over hot girls so its likely just you.

2. Rich gal and poor/average boy combination - based on my experiences, it probably wouldnt work out, but it still might. notice I didnt say never. Girls are built to seek a hero and in our society, money, is the hero's sword. All the guys around me make more money than their gfs or wives. There's only 2 guys in my clique whose partners make more money than them (one of the guy's wife makes 300+k per year). BUT these guys' inheritance are HUGE! By my estimates, at least 20m. So it could still work for you, but you have to be really blessed.

3. This is the part that I have issues with-the part where she said you are controlling her. I am the ultimate control freak. Didnt used to be like that. I was educated overseas so I am familiar with the "freedom to women" crap. know what? it is crap. cos women cheat too. just like men. of the 2 girls that I had little control over, both cheated on me. and some of the potential gfs that i suspected would be hard to control, I eventually found out that they were fucking other guys too. Once upon a time, i believed in giving the woman her space. But my life experience has shown me that if a woman is devoted to you, you can give her all the space but all she wants is to share her time with you and her family. so if she wants to go for drinks with her colleagues, gfs, classmates, etc, let her go at your own risk. if she doesnt cheat on you this time, it might happen the next.

[k9er]

I will give you my views. Wont be pretty though.

1. As for the bros who backstabbed you... The brotherhood was never mutual. They never took you as a bro. which could mean that you were too trusting or you were not well liked? I think its probably both. Or maybe your gf is just THAT HOT!!! not likely though. Cos I have hung around many pretty girls but I have yet to meet my bros backstabbing each other. what I am trying to say is that real bros dont backstab each other over hot girls so its likely just you.

2. Rich gal and poor/average boy combination - based on my experiences, it probably wouldnt work out, but it still might. notice I didnt say never. Girls are built to seek a hero and in our society, money, is the hero's sword. All the guys around me make more money than their gfs or wives. There's only 2 guys in my clique whose partners make more money than them (one of the guy's wife makes 300+k per year). BUT these guys' inheritance are HUGE! By my estimates, at least 20m. So it could still work for you, but you have to be really blessed.

3. This is the part that I have issues with-the part where she said you are controlling her. I am the ultimate control freak. Didnt used to be like that. I was educated overseas so I am familiar with the "freedom to women" crap. know what? it is crap. cos women cheat too. just like men. of the 2 girls that I had little control over, both cheated on me. and some of the potential gfs that i suspected would be hard to control, I eventually found out that they were fucking other guys too. Once upon a time, i believed in giving the woman her space. But my life experience has shown me that if a woman is devoted to you, you can give her all the space but all she wants is to share her time with you and her family. so if she wants to go for drinks with her colleagues, gfs, classmates, etc, let her go at your own risk. if she doesnt cheat on you this time, it might happen the next.

Point 1: Yes, I call them bros initially because of the place we hang out together. But they aren't my primary friends. We are still work colleagues. So, yea, they probably never meant it as a friendship.

Point 2: Noted. I can't change this fact. It is a fact she earns more than me in gross income per month. But it is also a fact I have less net income because I am paying a car & a unit, so...she has more to spend, I have more on commitment, thus lesser to spend with. She takes public transport initially and now given a company car. That's all.

Point 3: This is the hardest. I keep reading that I shouldn't be controlling, that I should give space and breathing space. But what you say has also crossed my mind. Since I am willing to spend away a huge portion of my time for her, why not her too? During the few early months, there was no other time but our time. She even turned down lots of calls & invitation from her clients because she knows I don't like some of them. (reason being she tells me the detail of everyone of them...and they turn out to be seeking advantage, NOT in monetary form)

But recently, she says her sales has been affected, she has missed out lots of orders, bla bla bla, I need some time with my schoolmates, we haven't seen for years etc etc.,so I say go ahead and followed with the usual tag "who are they". Well, she got upset. So, for the past month, I haven't asked who & where...but she would still inform me, only a matter of instantly or some time after.

It's really hard to gauge. I doubt my action has changed much in this one year (as in becoming possessive or clingy). I still feel warming to her, and I really glad I can finally put down the urge to go clubbing, massage parlor & such. Believe or not, I haven't been to such place for months. At first I did so because she would get upset. But now I just don't have the feel or need to go such places anymore. I just want to spend time with her. Am I clingy? Or I am just innocently in love? I have no idea~

[k9er]

Then say, she DID cheated...what am I to do about it? The girls that don't cheat...probably won't be her. She is her because of her personality. I loved the personality she is now. So if this is the type of woman who would cheat...then my goodness, is asking for the perfect one...an impossible thing in this world? i.e pretty, smart, capable, fun, & most importantly....not cheat?

Sigh. She seek out to change me. In which I did. And I did it gladly. I wouldn't go back to my old self even if given a chance. But I do admit I have a certain degree of fear on the "C". Am I paranoid? Am I thinking too much?

[Sirrus]

Cut long story short.

All is fair in love and war. So I told it to my gf that some of my other colleagues are after her too. She told me that she can’t do much if they insist to ask her out for dinner because of her job (being a salesperson) so I said no prob, as long as she keeps me informed. So we both know our situation.

So, now comes the part I want to share. It’s understandable every guy drools over a pretty girl (I would say my girlfriend is definitely the pretty faced type), to the extent that asking her to go out for dinner is a bragging material already. But the thing is, some of these guys who are suppose to be my colleagues, &knowing very well I have already hit off with my gf, actually had the guts to talk behind my back…and even disclosed encounters we all swore to "what happens there, stays there" So much for bros…ptuii… They even ask my girlfriend “don’t tell your bf we told you ok? We are telling you because we care. We see you are a nice girl etc.”

well if she went with other guys then u should be glad it happen sooner cause ur money and emotion investment in her isnt that deep yet.

why would u trust and share ur private life with ur colleagues in the 1st place? remember, they are competition to ur career not your friends.

unless ur job scope is working in a war zone then u can call it brotherhood.

[Sirrus]

Then say, she DID cheated...what am I to do about it? The girls that don't cheat...probably won't be her. She is her because of her personality. I loved the personality she is now. So if this is the type of woman who would cheat...then my goodness, is asking for the perfect one...an impossible thing in this world? i.e pretty, smart, capable, fun, & most importantly....not cheat?

Sigh. She seek out to change me. In which I did. And I did it gladly. I wouldn't go back to my old self even if given a chance. But I do admit I have a certain degree of fear on the "C". Am I paranoid? Am I thinking too much?

if ur so scare then why dont u keep fucking her raw and shoot inside till she got ur child. then married. if ur still not secure enff then DO SM and video tape her pledging her loyalty to u. dont be over demanding and just be happy and dont think so much. think how much also no point cause she can do w/e she like if she really want to.

[asdfghjkl]

maybe its coming home to roost? :o

[k9er]

if ur so scare then why dont u keep fucking her raw and shoot inside till she got ur child. then married. if ur still not secure enff then DO SM and video tape her pledging her loyalty to u. dont be over demanding and just be happy and dont think so much. think how much also no point cause she can do w/e she like if she really want to.

If the relationship is not meant to last, I will just add into the divorce statistic. Sorry but I respect her. It doesn't have to go to that extend. I am scared, but it doesn't mean I don't trust her.

[Ahboy89]

all the best bro, stay strong man.

[wells]

I will give you my views. Wont be pretty though.

But my life experience has shown me that if a woman is devoted to you, you can give her all the space but all she wants is to share her time with you and her family. so if she wants to go for drinks with her colleagues, gfs, classmates, etc, let her go at your own risk. if she doesnt cheat on you this time, it might happen the next.

I agreed with Bro 1nottiboy, ever happened to me too. give too much freedom can give you one nasty surprise one day.

My current gf give her space to enjoy life.. instead of going out, she prefers to spend time togather with me or with my families...sometimes i feel bored but on the otherhand i think companion is important too.

[littlepok]

Thank you bro littlepok.

Your post is a wake up call for me. I will look and reflect on myself more. I know the issue now is on me. I earn on a salary basis, and even though my basic salary is higher, her record in sales and commissions exceeds 5 figure every month.

Yes, you are so right in every sense of your post. Salary, list of admirers, work achievements...i am constantly overwhelmed by what she has accomplished despite having to balance "entertainment" & "self-respect".

I have heard her scold her clients on the phone, telling them to F off because she won't die from losing sales from them. Those men asked her out for a dinner and time together. She told them off saying she entertains with sales problems and matters, not with her body. I was suprised at her outburst. Even though I would never want her to do anything like that, I told her she still doesn't have to make it so rude and risk offending them. She calmly replied me that horny bastards are everywhere. They don't get what they want doesn't mean she will lose any sales. True enough, end of the month the order still comes in. That is how capable she is.

Anyway, i think the points that bros bring up here is clear enough. I should start getting my shits together before it hits the fan.

Again, thank you all for your pointers. I really appreciate the advise. I love this woman very much and I am willing to make myself her worth.

yes bro, hope my 1cent thoughts helped u some way or another. u no power cannot up me but i still appreciate your effort. will give u an upz when possible, take it as encouragement for u to help others here and elsewhere when possible, within your limits.

i once had a similar experience like u, even more extreme. had a girl who is rich and have pocket money 6 digit a month when my pay is 2k. she had to put up with my low self-esteem repeatedly (i know low confidence guys really put off gals) but somehow, she stayed, for unknown reasons.

till now is still dingdong mode (i am already attached with someone of closer background and earning power) but she is still trying to make something happen.

sometimes, think about yourself and list what is in u that attracted her. she would have told u or dropped hints once in awhile. remember these characteristics which will benefit u. not only to attract her but is your strong points that u capitalise on for career progression also (dont count sex prowess inside).