Sex with emotions or without

[Edyta]

To a man, what is the difference between sex with emotions (i.e. love, affection) and those without?

In the case of 2 person being close friends for more than a year, what are the chances its sex only (no emotions involved)?

Thanks for sharing your views.

Edyta

[risingeast]

Anything is possible.

[SammyNewbie]

I enjoy the sex better when the girl is smiling and rocking me and she takes good care of me and really likes me or seems to(with WLs). Those times when I come, usually after I come out, will have those stupid grin and this happiness at being relieved and well taken care of.

One of my friends once asked me why I last so long inside a fish tank.Other than going slowly, and not acting like a motorized pump, all I can say is bad GFE. It can just really kill the mood for me though I can still get hard and cum in the end. Those times, I felt I just flushed 50 down the drain and was like 'ahh... whatever.'

Of course, if I am in an extremely horny state, I don't really care. Mood killer or not, I would still come and be relieved and it would turn from 'bad' to 'ok'.

All I can say is that it depends on the man. Or the motives of the man for having sex. If just want to bonk for conquest, then maybe he won't feel very much for the girl lor beyond the fact that she's hot and makes him horny.

[BiRd13]

Sex with emotions or feeling I will call it as Love Making...
Sex without it, of course is sex :)

[freezetheDB]

when u have sex and post-sex you want to cuddle and give her tender loving warmth, its sex with emotion aka making love.

when you have sex and after you released your white army, you want nothing more to do with her, its just purely physical sex, whih usually leaves one feeling of the void

[Edyta]

Thanks for all the replies.

I am really interested to know if its possible for a man to have no emotion sex with a woman who is also a close friend for more than a year. Hang out, enjoy outings for more than a year before sex happens. If yes, any reason why?

[SammyNewbie]

I think you mean 'No-Strings-Attached' not no emotions...

[Boon117]

Sex is a form of showing emotions i guess. But hey, some men just do it for the pleasure :)

[littlepok]

actually it has lesser meaning to guys than to gals. most gals want the emotional attach before sex (don't talk abt FL) but guys just need a nice hole. GFE is a bonus but not essential component.

[SammyNewbie]

Aiyah... got come and felt is sucked... and come and felt it was good mah.

Outcome is same... but feeling is different right? ;)

[scentbug]

Thanks for all the replies.

I am really interested to know if its possible for a man to have no emotion sex with a woman who is also a close friend for more than a year. Hang out, enjoy outings for more than a year before sex happens. If yes, any reason why?

Yes. I experienced the exact same situation before. I would not say without emotion completely. With a close friend, there will be attraction first that leads to lust then to sex. Sometimes the guy loves hanging out and enjoys the company and that alone encompass a certain level of emotional attachment. But if you're thinking of is there love involved? Then it's a another thing altogether.

[Bebeque]

Thanks for all the replies.

I am really interested to know if its possible for a man to have no emotion sex with a woman who is also a close friend for more than a year. Hang out, enjoy outings for more than a year before sex happens. If yes, any reason why?

Just wondering if you are a guy or a girl. Correct me if I am wrong:

If you are a guy, then your question seemed redundant as you yourself would also understand why men have sex, for example:
- sex is a needed physical release of the sperm from time to time, from the moment he is physically/financially able to, until he is physically, financially, psychologically or medically not able to, a range of years from the age of 8, 9 to 70s.
- sex is a tool for the boosting of the male self esteem. It is the reward for a successful overcoming of a particular female's resistance/reluctance for your dick to be inserted into her pussy, for a variety of reasons.
- sex is a necessity for the continuation of the biological reproduction of the genes belonging to one particular male person.
- sex is a seeking of pleasure and can be devoid of any feelings or emotions relating to love for a particular female (or male),
- etc, etc

If you are a gal, then your question is very very puzzling. Please correct me if I am wrong, as:
- you are the one and only person who allowed a particular male to have his dick inserted into your pussy (or course, here we must rule out incidents relating to rape, gang bang, forced sex in any way, etc). You should know why you allowed this to happen,
- why, when a man wants to have sex, refer to the above reasons,
- your question is for the purpose to confirm whether, when a particular male person performed sex on you, he has 'feelings' for you, that is, if he 'loves' you?

So what situation above is applicable to you? Kindly clarify, so that we can offer our further comments and opinions.

[Edyta]

Asker is a female

Man has a long term gf. 1+yr of friendship with asker in a foreign land. Sex happened on asker's last nite before heading home. Both are not drunk. Morning after man apologised and said he felt guilty towards his gf n asker. He said asker is a v attractive woman, he tried but cannot walk away. He said he did it out of affection "at that time". Asker wants to know if the man has real emotions on her or just sex. Not love. Is the friendship even real or just a veil for the eventual act - premeditated.

[greatdrakgd]

Just wondering if you are a guy or a girl. Correct me if I am wrong:

If you are a guy, then your question seemed redundant as you yourself would also understand why men have sex, for example:
- sex is a needed physical release of the sperm from time to time, from the moment he is physically/financially able to, until he is physically, financially, psychologically or medically not able to, a range of years from the age of 8, 9 to 70s.
- sex is a tool for the boosting of the male self esteem. It is the reward for a successful overcoming of a particular female's resistance/reluctance for your dick to be inserted into her pussy, for a variety of reasons.
- sex is a necessity for the continuation of the biological reproduction of the genes belonging to one particular male person.
- sex is a seeking of pleasure and can be devoid of any feelings or emotions relating to love for a particular female (or male),
- etc, etc

If you are a gal, then your question is very very puzzling. Please correct me if I am wrong, as:
- you are the one and only person who allowed a particular male to have his dick inserted into your pussy (or course, here we must rule out incidents relating to rape, gang bang, forced sex in any way, etc). You should know why you allowed this to happen,
- why, when a man wants to have sex, refer to the above reasons,
- your question is for the purpose to confirm whether, when a particular male person performed sex on you, he has 'feelings' for you, that is, if he 'loves' you?

So what situation above is applicable to you? Kindly clarify, so that we can offer our further comments and opinions.

very good points!

[84gunner]

Men fall in love because he loves the sex.

Women want to feel the love then engage in sex (WLs & monetary reasons excluded).

[Bebeque]

Asker is a female

Man has a long term gf. 1+yr of friendship with asker in a foreign land. Sex happened on asker's last nite before heading home. Both are not drunk. Morning after man apologised and said he felt guilty towards his gf n asker. He said asker is a v attractive woman, he tried but cannot walk away. He said he did it out of affection "at that time". Asker wants to know if the man has real emotions on her or just sex. Not love. Is the friendship even real or just a veil for the eventual act - premeditated.

Whether for man or woman, doing sex with each other (not involving anything forced or purchased) will definitely involve a certain amount of 'liking', that is, favourable, amicable, pleasant feelings for each other and willingness to go through the act. After all, the man found her to be 'attractive' and he has 'affection ... at that time'. For the girl, of course, it must involve such 'liking' too or she will never allow his dick to be in her pzzzz.

Whether this 'liking' involved 'feelings', 'emotions' and a big leap, 'love' will depend on the circumstances of the case. How did they meet, what interactions they do when they meet, how is their chemistry, etc, etc. It is difficult for outsiders to know and generalise if really 'emotions' are involved. Only the two parties themselves know. If the asker wants to know, then best person to answer the question is the particular man. This can be done either directly or indirectly through observing the behaviour and actions of the man towards the asker.

Looking beneath this question, asker seems want to confirm whether generally a man can have sex with a girl if he has no 'emotions' for her. In other words, whether 'sex' means 'emotions' and without 'emotions' the act will not be done. As explained before, so long as there is this 'liking' (attraction, affection), sex can take place for the man. Frankly, emotions need not play a part as, one man, one woman, in same room with 'attraction' and 'affection' in the air, 99% of men will do the sex act, especially if the girl does not object and is willing.

Again, the question of 'emotions' is redundant for the asker. Whether there is 'emotions or not only she and the man can answer it. Given that the man already has a gf, what is more important for the girl will be:

a Now that one sex act has happened, does the man want to have more? (personally, why not, if the girl does not object and she is based overseas?),

b How does the man want to handle the situation?
- continue with the gf, give up anymore ONS with the asker?
- continue with the gf, continue with ONS with the asker?
- break off with the gf, continue with ONS and more with the asker?
- break off with the gf, break off with the asker, as he had committed an act disloyal to both of them?

c How does asker want to handle the situation?
- Asker likes the man and wants to continue ONS and further with the man, and will fight her way through to get the man.
- Asker will take ONS in stride and do it with the man whenever the opportunity arises,
- Asker will only have this ONS with the man, period,

Finally, how things will turn out between the two depends a lot, a lot on the asker. The man can do all the chasing, all the ONS, but only the asker as a woman, can and is able to decide if this man is for her!!!! Is this man a ONS or a longer prospect for her? Is he worthy of her?

Sorry, TS, your simple question got morphed into such a clinical and verbose response from me. But, it is better for asker to go through the questions and be sure of her own answers (and that of the man's stand) to them before she can make a decision of what to do next.

Cheers.

[tryherout]

Some degree of affections however whether it justified the sexual intercourse it is really subjective.

[Bebeque]

Some degree of affections however whether it justified the sexual intercourse it is really subjective.

Sex already took place with "...Some degree of affections ...".

Whether intercourse is justified or subjective is moot. :D:D

[Edyta]

Thanks for all the analysis. Very objective.

Man has investments with gf too much to lose if he leaves her. He loves her very much and have no intention to do so. Asker did not wish to be a 3rd party. Mutual decision to stop. Asker cannot help wonder if the friendship was real, would a man spend time and effort to pretend an entire year just to bed a woman once. Basically asker wants to know if the man used her.

[SammyNewbie]

My answer to the question is... I don't know even though I am a man.

It depends on the man honestly.

I think a good litmus to see if the friendship is real, is to see if after the bonk and 'break up', and still got keep in touch or not. If don't have, it's likely that it was for the bonk.

But it's complex also. Cause it depends on what kind of person the guy and gal are. I know friends that just FB only, then after stop and go back to their actual relationships, still got keep in touch and talk. Then also got those that zhen xing one, but because it was awkward, the communication between both parties just got cut. So it depends on the personality of the people involved.

My honest take is that if a man flirts with you if he already has a steady girlfriend, it means you want to fuck with him you must be prepared to be 3rd party and that he's highly likely to be a player.

I hope that the asker will not lose hope in all men as a result of this. There are still got good men out there. It's just important to remember that they won't come in a perfect package. They might be a little shy and socially inept, have some eccentricities, maybe very horny and might ask you go bonk before he know you well enough...(not asking you to say yes) XD, might not drive a car... but after awhile you might see some good points you weren't aware of.

So just be abit open and try to make friends and know them. Of course if they sexsexsexsexsex only all the time when you talk to them... then that one cut off lah. Asker might need to manage her expectations a little bit if she want a Zhen Xing Nan Ren... that's what I'm saying.

[Rayowen]

Thanks for all the replies.

I am really interested to know if its possible for a man to have no emotion sex with a woman who is also a close friend for more than a year. Hang out, enjoy outings for more than a year before sex happens. If yes, any reason why?

Hi Edyta,

I guess it's impossible. Humans are emotional animals hence it difficult not to develop feeling over a period of time. Furthermore u need to be comfortable with the girl in order to hang out with her. Just my thoughts.

[scentbug]

Thanks for all the analysis. Very objective.

Man has investments with gf too much to lose if he leaves her. He loves her very much and have no intention to do so. Asker did not wish to be a 3rd party. Mutual decision to stop. Asker cannot help wonder if the friendship was real, would a man spend time and effort to pretend an entire year just to bed a woman once. Basically asker wants to know if the man used her.

No man would spend one year pretending just for a night of sex. There's definitely a connection. You are not used. Sometimes things like that happens.

[Bebeque]

Thanks for all the analysis. Very objective.

Man has investments with gf too much to lose if he leaves her. He loves her very much and have no intention to do so. Asker did not wish to be a 3rd party. Mutual decision to stop. Asker cannot help wonder if the friendship was real, would a man spend time and effort to pretend an entire year just to bed a woman once. Basically asker wants to know if the man used her.

Thanks to for your update. Just a few more comments from me, OKDOO!!!

Good points from NewSammyNewbie too.

TS, you seem very sure of the situation between the two from your response..."Man has investments with gf too much to lose if he leaves her. He loves her very much and have no intention to do so. Asker did not wish to be a 3rd party. Mutual decision to stop...". You seem more akin to the asker...:D.

To answer your questions:

1 From my experience, it is entirely all right and normal for a man and a woman to have a mutual friendship without sex, even if the man has a gf/married or same for the woman.

2 Some people may be cynical of the possibility of such a 'mutual friendship', but if you ask around, there are really such cases around, especially amongst people who work with each other or colleagues. They can go out for lunch, dinners and share some private moments with each other. Sometimes, some people just have the inclination and ability to have such mutual friendships with members of the opposite sex. Sex is not involved.

3 Of course, whether it is possible that such 'mutual friendship' will somehow develop into a sexual relationship will depend entirely upon the circumstances and the personalities involved. For example, if one party has some relationship problems, begin to tell the other party and eventually consolation/symphaty for the other may lead one or both to seek some form of sexual release/relationship.

4 Thus, it would not be correct to say that such mutual friendship is a pretence.

5 To pretend and wait for one year to bed a woman? If the sexual element is there in the first moment or few months, one year is kind of long to wait for a man. More likely in this case, somewhere along the one year, somehow some elements of the relationship changed, feelings arise and/or the sexual element was sparked and then lead to the bedding. Put it another way, the bedding would not have been successful if the man did not want it and the asker did not allow for it (we rule out sex by force or for some ulterior motive).

6 Now that the bedding took place and the man said sorry, he did something which he was not supposed to do, that is, bedding the girl, the thought arose in the asker that she has been snookered. For the asker, the implication of the man saying sorry is that ".. sorry, this is a ONS, sorry no more, thank you mem". This reaction of the asker is entirely logical and reasonable. Compunding the issue is that the asker told TS that "He loves her very much and have no intention to do so." What is what?

7 My take for the situation - if sex occurred between two consenting adults under certain conditions, why ask whether deception, pretence is involved? Is asker feeling guilty of being a third party and at same time unhappy that this is a just a ONS, so is seeking justification that the man is wrong to pretend friendship in the first place? This question, only the asker can answer.

8 According to TS, matters now become that by mutual consent, they agreed to stop the ONS. Very good and sensible for both parties. Whether ONS will occur again between the two will depend on themselves and the circumstances. As outsiders, we will not know, nor need to know. This is between them and for them to decide.

Finally, to summarise my take for TS:
- By usual human interaction, mutual sex without some feelings and emotions is not possible;
- But, under some circumstances, mutual sex without feelings/emotions on the part of the man is possible. Sex is an expression of a physical need, sparked by motivation of greed, power, deceit, symphaty, nice feeling for the other or just friendship.
- More importantly, asker should take some time to reflect, ask and be clear of herself - what she and the man wants out of the ONS and go on from there. Whether they have further ONS is depending entirely upon them and the circumstances.

So, enough have been written by me, Cheers.

[wally888]

Asker is a female

.

u asking on behalf of your gf?

[ImperialLegacy]

Thanks for all the analysis. Very objective.

Man has investments with gf too much to lose if he leaves her. He loves her very much and have no intention to do so. Asker did not wish to be a 3rd party. Mutual decision to stop. Asker cannot help wonder if the friendship was real, would a man spend time and effort to pretend an entire year just to bed a woman once. Basically asker wants to know if the man used her.

Asker here, asker there. OMG! If u enjoy fucking him, just do it till you find yourself a guy la. As for the guy, he'll just enjoy 2 different pussies till 1 leaves him.

[Benji]

with emotions,why ???
unless it is doing with your gf.
else doing with FLs,do not need to have emotions.

[babycath]

For women, its possible to have sex without emotions if all they want from it is to feel wanted. Doesnt matter if the partner is someone she doesnt love.