It's all for nothing......

[leonheart78]

I'm currently undergoing healing process......my gf just got to know another guy from club. As much as she said it's just a fling......I believe we are pretty much gone...... She said she need some time to settle all these.... She still loves me.....

The way she's behaving, it seems that she's trying to see where she can go with him, while wanting me to wait for her while she has her fun.....

I'm now thinking means and ways to stop thinking about her.....but it's just so hard.......

[abchow]

Bro, so be it , if she wants to step on 2 boat same time, its better to step back graciously.. I am sure u do not want a two timing girlfiiend.
So get on with your life and involve yourself with some other activity. Soon it will be just a memory. Good luck!

[leonheart78]

Thanks bro, I know that too.....just trying hard now to get my mind off her and try not to think what is she doing with him now......

It's just keep creeping back into my head.....this is crazy....

[davelws]

Move on my friend.
While you are waiting..what are they doing?
Since she already make her stand, you should too.
Waiting is a painful process and mind torturing too..why be cruel to yourself

[DaveC65]

You have better things to do with your life than wait for a woman to decide. Get on with your life and live it to the fullest. Go out there and be happy. If she wants you back, she will have to work for it.

[leonheart78]

Thanks to all......what things can you all suggest that I can do to get my mind off her then?? Tried gym....taking language lessons....it's just seems so boring to me.......

[davelws]

go date your female friends or find some new female friends.
you will feel better if you have someone out there as next potential one.. :)
you need to make your next new goal fast!

[leonheart78]

Since I'm with her.....I don't really have any female friend whom are close enough to date..... I was thinking of going back to clubbing......but where can I go to get to know more girls???

[LeMoN]

Since I'm with her.....I don't really have any female friend whom are close enough to date..... I was thinking of going back to clubbing......but where can I go to get to know more girls???

If u r born in '78, then u r too old to club ;) online dating or SDU would be better.

[Mike1983]

Bro,

move on in life... get back in touch with your previous friends, be it male or female...

she is hanging onto you so that she has a backup plan. would you want to be that back up plan? do you still love her as much? can you still love her as much if she comes back to you?

like what other Bro has said. if she wants you back, she has to work for it and show u that she's worth taking back.

need drinks or cheong kaki, i'm sure there are a lot here. PM me if u wanna talk more. i just went thru a similar situation like you. :)

[creeve]

If you are suffering that much now, even if she return to you, her past will keep coming back and haunt you. You might even start to wonder when will be the next time she stray.

Bro, forget it. Let it go... You deserve someone who don't treat you as a spare tyre.

[veron_ron84]

bro, u watch "limitless"? i don't mean that you are the edward... but u know, well...females are attached to powerful males..powerful in many kind of ways. so if u are trying to get her to "buy" u instead of choosing the other fling...what's is ur selling point? move on! keep ur mind off, do something productive. if people don't die from losing a million.. whats the big deal to let go of a relationship that does not respect itself and does not treasure the other party? have a though...is it worth it?

just my 2 cents =)

Cheers,
Ron

[Weiwei88]

Bro, go date a female friend. Start everything afresh. I have been through this . I can find any activity or go out with any friend. But I realize that when you date a girl That you possible going to fall in love with her, u will forget of your gf. Try it. It work. There is so many girl all around. Your work place ? Old school friend, lastly go clubbing, it is the area where you will meet more new gal friend !

[fighter89]

[QUOTE=veron_ron84;5979762]bro, u watch "limitless"? i don't mean that you are the edward... but u know, well...females are attached to powerful males..powerful in many kind of ways. so if u are trying to get her to "buy" u instead of choosing the other fling...what's is ur selling point? move on! keep ur mind off, do something productive. if people don't die from losing a million.. whats the big deal to let go of a relationship that does not respect itself and does not treasure the other party? have a though...is it worth it?

I agree with the above statement. In the social context, we call such people 'hookers'. The 'hook' you to them just to keep you for when they need you. SO whenever they feel that their existing relationship is not gonna work, they can always call you back cos you're on their hook already. And they will say all the nice things to you just to get back with you. Been there, done that. Don't get hooked bro, it's time to let go.

[blk437]

Replace her with another one and u will forget her very fast.

[LoveAngel]

You gotta go out. And keep yourself occupied.
An idle's mind is the devil's workshop. Don't let it be idle.

Talk to someone. Don't carry the burden yourself.
A girl will cry, talk it out, hug someone & heal.... slowly.
A man? I dunno .... my friend's brother bought a piano in his 1st breakup. And a huge pool table & carpeted the whole living room in his 2nd breakup. Do what you have always wanted to but didn't.

Best healing tool: go out & meet more people. If u meet a girl, great. If not, you'll find your social life more enriching.

Otherwise, you can begin by joining us for our outings & coffee break. Want? :p

[zyspt]

sounds like she holding on to you as a spare tyre.
if she mange to get together with the new guy, she will come up with some excuses to break up, if she fail, she still have you, she got nothing to lose.

If don't have much female friend to go out with, get you friend to bring some of their female friend to an outing with you, making new friend, who knows a new relationship will struck you and is better than this current one.

[CuTiEgIrL]

TS, let me do some explanations here. What your so call gf is doing is trying to have both the cake and the pie. After eating the cake everyday, suddenly someone presents her with a pie. She took a mouth but trying to see if she can have the whole pie. But she is afraid that she cannot finish the whole pie. So she put the cake in the fridge. Thinking that if she can always go back and open the fridge to eat the cake if the pie cant be finished.

Get it?
My advise, go out and get a fruit platter and eat it while it is still freshly cut. If your gf love you so much, would she be tempted to try the pie in the first place.

[calex]

You gotta go out. And keep yourself occupied.
An idle's mind is the devil's workshop. Don't let it be idle.

Talk to someone. Don't carry the burden yourself.
A girl will cry, talk it out, hug someone & heal.... slowly.
A man? I dunno .... my friend's brother bought a piano in his 1st breakup. And a huge pool table & carpeted the whole living room in his 2nd breakup. Do what you have always wanted to but didn't.

Best healing tool: go out & meet more people. If u meet a girl, great. If not, you'll find your social life more enriching.

Otherwise, you can begin by joining us for our outings & coffee break. Want? :p
very good advice from sis lovelangel


dear ts,

wish you have swift recovery from this set back

[loneyheart]

Bro no one can help u
But U only U yr self Bro
N only TIME can heal
It part of t game so call Love Love Relationship
She just part of yr life not everything
Or mayb I should say she was part of yr history

Cheers up bro
If u never give up u never find a new one

[nejihs]

I'm going through something like you too TS. Worst of all, I lost my job and not working now. Its really disheartening to have all this come at one time.

[sammyboyfor]

Get it?
My advise, go out and get a fruit platter and eat it while it is still freshly cut.

Should be "My ADVICE..".

"Advise" is a verb.

[leonheart78]

Thank you all for the best wishes and encouragements. Looking around to see what else I can sink my hands into. Thinking of getting my company to post me to Thailand for a period of time. At least I should be able to start afresh from there.......

I still believe I should be able to survive this.....just that right now, I'm still quite attached to this breakup. Anyway, whatever can't kill me, will make me stronger. So thing should be fine.

As for now, I'm just doing up my timetable....so to make sure that every slot is filled within something to do....be it cleaning house, jogging, console gaming, or wash my car.....

As for getting involved with another girl now don't seems right to me. Just feel that I'm might be confused, and got another girl as her replacement...... Don't wish to have that happened......

And thanks to Sis LoveAngel, love to join you all for coffee sometime....

Thanks to all the bros and sis here!

[sweetboy]

yeah going to thailand is a good idea. All the best to you. ;)

[69sonice]

bro, I know its easy to say forget it and move on but it hurts so much.. I have my fare share as well; time will heal and you emerge a stronger person. Good luck and all the best!!

[leonheart78]

Guess this is just part and parcel of life. I will havecto endure till it passes.....

[unsung80]

Don't let her dump you, be the one throwing her off the chair first. ;)

It may sounds unpleasant or nasty, but end of the day is good for you, i see cutiegirl and loveangle already said what is needed. If not pass it to me let me eat her for you, just kidding.

TC bro.

[hickeybites]

Hang in there TS... u seem to be on right track trying to ensure that your mind/day is occupied as fruitfully as possible.
Ever considered volunteering - perhaps in a cause that you believe in?
I find that aiding others (of course with right intentions & not there to just pass time) may help tweak our perceptions a bit ~
we realize that things may not so bad after all & each day brings about its own blessings.

"This too shall pass"... this applies too when our hearts get broken.
It's good that u seem clear about not finding someone else as substitute just to fill in the emptiness/void... of cos everyone has their own way of handling pain - no right or wrong.
Ultimately do what you feel is most right for yourself. Stay strong, surround yourself with trusted loved ones, & have faith.
Take care!

[Sirrus]

Thanks bro, I know that too.....just trying hard now to get my mind off her and try not to think what is she doing with him now......

It's just keep creeping back into my head.....this is crazy....

do as what some other people would do.
treat her as a FB then u go out find another girl.

[LoveAngel]

Guess this is just part and parcel of life. I will havecto endure till it passes.....

God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn these lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them...

Every trial endured and weathered in the right spirit makes a soul nobler and stronger than it was before.....James Buckham

You can do it! Don't give up k?! You will come out stronger! :)

[NeedSomeLove]

My view:

1. Meet her.
2. Screw her real hard.
3. Have your share of fun and leave her high and dry.
4. When you are done with it, dump her and leave her.

You deserve better than a 2-timing bitch. You will find better girls to be ur gf.

[Tai_zi21]

Time will heal all wounds....

And you deserve a gal better than her...

Cheers :)

[voy21]

Bro u just have to let go. Don't give up a Jungle becos of a tree . stay cool . thing will be the same if u never move on BUT the time u lost u will never get it back .

[DaveC65]

Just tell her straight "I refuse to be your consolation prize." Tell yourself "I will NOT be ANYONE's consolation prize". Make yourself unavailable to her and do what makes YOU happy. Best way to forget your troubles is to HELP others. Maybe join a charity organization?

[arsenal_84]

move on, what else can be more adult ?
i won't even get into the fb rs with an ex for the very simple reason of not poisoning myself further.
is a whole lot easier to purchase sex with money but unfortunately you can't do the same with love.

[michaelchw]

Hey TS,

It's sad but life goes on. It's your life, she doesn't own it, so don't let yourself subject to misery because of this.
It's always easier said than done, so be prepared, you will not recover just by the snap of your fingers.

My advice would be, get busy, really freaking busy, with work.
It helps in the sense that you just jot no time to think about her at all. Only then, time can heal when you don't think of her, cos every thought of her cuts and you get fresh wound everyday.

Don't try to meet new girls for the time being, cos it is very likely you end up with someone not you truly love, but someone just as a substitute.
It is not fair to that someone, worse if that someone could be the right one but you are not loving her whole-heartedly. It will be your regrets in future.
Then again, don't reject lady friends. It's ok to just widen your network. This episode should not mark the end of your love life.

Someone ever told me: given time, you will be alright. Maybe 3 weeks, may 3 months, maybe 3 years. If the end result is all the same (you getting over it), why not make that day tomorrow?
to me, it's all about being able to let go. When you are able to really let go, you got over it. But it's all up to you, so all the best.

By the way, who says 1978 guys can't club? I'm 1972 and I still club some times. It's the company and how young your heart is.

Jia You! Gan-badeh!

[2centsworth]

My view:

1. Meet her.
2. Screw her real hard.
3. Have your share of fun and leave her high and dry.
4. When you are done with it, dump her and leave her.

You deserve better than a 2-timing bitch. You will find better girls to be ur gf.

A bit confused. You claim you are a girl and you are giving such advice? I think most of the guys here give more humane advice. :confused:

[Toyota Honda]

Go SDU or some dating agency to get a good one. While waiting for her to come back as your 'fb'. I reiterate, 'fb'.

[Toyota Honda]

A bit confused. You claim you are a girl and you are giving such advice? I think most of the guys here give more humane advice. :confused:

bro, sis needsomelove is a different type of girl. She understands how to be a good gf/wife/girl rather than some bitch or slut on the road. And its because she is so special, she choseto be part of our gang.

[leonheart78]

Thanks for all the kind words. I don't think I can take her back as a FB. I don't think I can have a clean separation of sex and love with her.

It's just crazy that she just haunt my thoughts throughout the days and weeks. Not sure when will this exactly pass......

[waiwaiz]

Don understand why ppl can get so sad after a break off........usually i'm quite happy, knowing i'm single n available again.haha..........i'm sure there are lots of bros think this way also.........

maybe in few years time, after a few more R/S.......u'll realize all this is nothing. Easy cum easy go. :):)
The end of this R/S is the beginning of another one..........:)

[leonheart78]

One ends is another beginning, that's another way to look at it......
But I'm note trying to make it end, so that I could get on......

Guess all the emotion investment is what holding me back now......

[NeedSomeLove]

A bit confused. You claim you are a girl and you are giving such advice? I think most of the guys here give more humane advice. :confused:

It is precisely because I am a girl that's why I know how some girls out there can flaunt and use their natural assets to toy guys around their fingers. Some girls think that just because they have the looks and figure, they can get any guys that they wan and toy with their feelings and hurt people. Girls can be real nasty beneath their beautiful exterior.

[NeedSomeLove]

One ends is another beginning, that's another way to look at it......
But I'm note trying to make it end, so that I could get on......

Guess all the emotion investment is what holding me back now......


Bro, seriously, what have you done to deserve such emotional torment? From what you have written, you have not done anything wrong to her IMO.

It sucks to keep thinking of her and feel bitter. Take up a new hobby. Go out to meet new people while you are picking up something new. Make yourself busy. You will forget her sooner than you think.

[sacs]

I'm currently undergoing healing process......my gf just got to know another guy from club. As much as she said it's just a fling......I believe we are pretty much gone...... She said she need some time to settle all these.... She still loves me.....

The way she's behaving, it seems that she's trying to see where she can go with him, while wanting me to wait for her while she has her fun.....

I'm now thinking means and ways to stop thinking about her.....but it's just so hard.......

bro, every guys here can advice. Our advice is something u already know yourself. however, end of the day, its up to u to see the light. once u c it, all this advice will fall into place n u will take d past as a pinch of salt. ultimately, it all depends on u.

[sacs]

Don understand why ppl can get so sad after a break off........usually i'm quite happy, knowing i'm single n available again.haha..........i'm sure there are lots of bros think this way also.........

maybe in few years time, after a few more R/S.......u'll realize all this is nothing. Easy cum easy go. :):)
The end of this R/S is the beginning of another one..........:)

hahaha! i totally agree with you bro! At this moment i already begin to feel like the way u feel a few mths back. Single is best!

[arsenal_84]

It is precisely because I am a girl that's why I know how some girls out there can flaunt and use their natural assets to toy guys around their fingers. Some girls think that just because they have the looks and figure, they can get any guys that they wan and toy with their feelings and hurt people. Girls can be real nasty beneath their beautiful exterior.

beautiful ladies in the dark side often make the worst lovers.

[DirtySerry]

Bro,

Let her go, it is a blessing that she does it now than after marriage. Trust me, once a slut, always a slut. I'm been and seen it before.

10 breakup is nothing compared to be broken marriage. She will get the kind of man she deserve and I doubt she deserves a faithful man.



I'm currently undergoing healing process......my gf just got to know another guy from club. As much as she said it's just a fling......I believe we are pretty much gone...... She said she need some time to settle all these.... She still loves me.....

The way she's behaving, it seems that she's trying to see where she can go with him, while wanting me to wait for her while she has her fun.....

I'm now thinking means and ways to stop thinking about her.....but it's just so hard.......

[amlover]

Thanks to all......what things can you all suggest that I can do to get my mind off her then?? Tried gym....taking language lessons....it's just seems so boring to me.......

Do what ever is it, just keep yourself busy, be it go out with friend ( male or female ) take any cos that you interested, work and keep busy etc etc...., and most important is never be alone.....no one can help you beside you helping yourself..... friend or any one can advise you or console you...you make the decision .....this is what i am doing...
Your life still have to go on..the world were never stop, just be cos you facing this problem..that is life....everyone have they own problem and still have to move on...
who know, it might be good for you ......you never know what the future will be... we have to plan it and make our dream, goal come true....
good luck to you ..........

[jekyll69]

bro,

let her go, it is a blessing that she does it now than after marriage. Trust me, once a slut, always a slut. I'm been and seen it before.

10 breakup is nothing compared to be broken marriage. She will get the kind of man she deserve and i doubt she deserves a faithful man.

well said!

[outatowner]

Thank you all for the best wishes and encouragements. Looking around to see what else I can sink my hands into. Thinking of getting my company to post me to Thailand for a period of time. At least I should be able to start afresh from there.......

I still believe I should be able to survive this.....just that right now, I'm still quite attached to this breakup. Anyway, whatever can't kill me, will make me stronger. So thing should be fine.

As for now, I'm just doing up my timetable....so to make sure that every slot is filled within something to do....be it cleaning house, jogging, console gaming, or wash my car.....

As for getting involved with another girl now don't seems right to me. Just feel that I'm might be confused, and got another girl as her replacement...... Don't wish to have that happened......

And thanks to Sis LoveAngel, love to join you all for coffee sometime....

Thanks to all the bros and sis here!

years ago while at a party one of our freinds was in depression his sweet indo wife of ten years had left him for another man the thing i will never forget was what the other friend said to him, go to thailand for 2 weeks you will forget any woman your have ever been with i think is excatly what u need go there and have sex with as many girls as u can do it may not take the pain away at first but it will set u on the way back :D

[Ah Too]

Bro, hope you'll feeling better now ...

[Aahtaan24]

Bro, hope you are feeling better not.....

As the darkest night approaches, it is almost dawn... Things would get better...

[leonheart78]

The pain is lesser.....but when night comes, that's the hardest time........
For the last few nights, I just kept waking up at 2 - 3am........

So end up working......my colleagues are thinking that I'm crazy......3am still see me replying to emails......

[Blackstar]

all the best bro leonheart i'm kind of going thru the same thing as you are currently

[LoveAngel]

The pain is lesser.....but when night comes, that's the hardest time........
For the last few nights, I just kept waking up at 2 - 3am........

You need to get out there .....
Would u like to join us on the 16th Jun??
Come take your mind off for a night. Let me know? :)

[NottiNotti]

Bro, I've been through what you are going through right now. My ex got to know a guy from work and they got together when I was still with her. They even became intimate soon after they met. Although I knew that she was sucking his cock. I still wanted to be with her. In fact, I told her I am willing to wait for her!

It is not an easy thing to just let go. I know that. It will take some time. But my advice for you is just break off with her. You deserve much better! Actually, after thinking through, I felt that I was lucky. Imagine already married and you get all this shit.

Let time heal your wounds and watch the show. I believe she will get to no where with this. You will eventually find someone much better than this girl. She is not worth your trouble. Try talking over it with your close friends. You will feel better.

Take care and be strong! :)